Monday Afternoon Joke

GreenMint

GreenMint

GreenMint

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My brother just sent me this, so thought i'd throw it on here ;) If its a pearoast or whatever, my apologies ;) Coat is on the hook and the door is open and ready! :)

After Quasimodo's death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day when an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The Bishop was incredulous.
'You have no arms!'
'No matter.' said the man, 'Observe!' and he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.The Bishop listened in astonishment, convinced he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned Bishop rushed to his side.When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, 'Bishop, who was this man?'
'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied, 'but his face rings a bell.'WAIT........ that's not the end.The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday.I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.'

The Bishop agreed to give the man an audition and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot.Two monks, hearing the Bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. 'What has happened? Who is this man?' the first monk asked breathlessly.'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught Bishop, 'but he's a dead ringer for his brother.'

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Amleto said:
door ----->


:p
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crying_child.jpg
 
Quasimodo walks in the kitchen after a hard days bellringing & sees a wok on the table,
oooh I see your cooking my favourite Chinese for tea Esmerelda.

Esmerelda: no , actually I just finished ironing your shirt:p
 
A man goes to the doctors, and he says to the doc "I think I've got a gentic problem." The doctor begins to question the man, "What are your symptoms?" and the man replies "Well I've got the runs you see." The doctor tells the man he thinks it is just diorehea adding "What makes you think it is genetic?" to which the man replies "Well it's all in my jeans"

One courtesy of my grandad ;)
 
philio16 said:
A man goes to the doctors, and he says to the doc "I think I've got a gentic problem." The doctor begins to question the man, "What are your symptoms?" and the man replies "Well I've got the runs you see." The doctor tells the man he thinks it is just diorehea adding "What makes you think it is genetic?" to which the man replies "Well it's all in my jeans"
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nearly as funny as toothache :)
 
I was searching for something completely unrelated, but as this is the best joke that's been posted on OcUK I thought I'd bump it.

Three cheers for Timbrad :p.
 
An oldie but a goodie:


Quasimodo, Snow White & thumballina all go to a bar looking rather depressed and so the bartender asks whats up they all reply that they're unsure if they're still the ugliest in quasimodo's case, most beautiful in snow whites case and shortest in thumballina's case in all the land.
"Don't worry replys the bartender I have a magic mirror in the back room you can all ask it your questions and it'll reply truthfully."
"Ok!" says Snow white and proceeds into the back room. About a minuite later she comes bouding out from behind the bar with a big grin on her face and shouts.
"Yayy I'm still the most beautiful"
Thumballina decides she's gonna go next and so goes into the back room a minuite passes and she comes bounding back out exclaiming with joy thas shes still the shortest.
It's then that Quasimodo decides to go consult the mirrior a minuite after they see him go into the back room there's a horrific yell and a loud smash and he comes out with a mean look on his face.
"Whats wrong!"
to which Quasimodo replied
"Who the hell is <insert your name here>!"
 
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
 
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