argh screwed up my first date ><

They had their own thing going on so it was hard for me to actually get better aquainted with any of them. Not being much of a dancer, I was on the sideline most of the time there while she was enjoying her friends company.
At that point I didn't much feel like staying. I walked over and told her I was to leave to drink with some friends who were in the area. As I departed I clearly saw a frown on her face but regardless waved her goodbye.

I spoke with her again today and she didnt really speak in the manner and enthusiasm as she usually would. Turns out she was a little upset for my early departure and said some things that made me rather uneasy. I feel as though my chances with her have dropped a lot.
It's been a while since I was seeing anyone and I really like this one, so please if you could give some advice or tips on what I could do now I will be forever greatful!
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Doesnt sound like there is enough going on between you for smt to happen to be honest.

Surprised her friend phoned her knowing shes on a date. Did the girl say "oh im going to a club want to join?" sort of thing? Usually you dont meet the friends till you are at least comfortable with each other.

What things did she say that made you uneasy?

Remember sometimes its not the ones that got away its...the ones you got a LUCKY ESCAPE from that count as well :D
 
Qlen said:
I find that we dont actually have that much in common and so the convo kind of died.

I walked her to the club duriing which we didnt say much to each other.

They had their own thing going on so it was hard for me to actually get better aquainted with any of them.

It's been a while since I was seeing anyone and I really like this one
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I've highlighted some important bits.

To me it doesn't look worth it mate, you don't seem to get along with her or her friends, so i'd just walk away personally. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
 
I like talking with my wife, but sometimes we just sit together and enjoy each others company in silence. There is a LOT you can say without uttering a solitary word ! :)
 
Haha, have to laugh at the people who think the relationship doomed because of this slow start. Some people take longer to open up, we are not all as Alpha as some of you on OcUK who instantly hit it off with every female and know after 30 minutes if they are the woman you will marry.

You said the meal was great and you were laughing etc, obviously there will be uncomfortable silences on a first date, it's totally normal. Ask her out again man, don't worry about it.
 
tbz_ck said:
I like talking with my wife, but sometimes we just sit together and enjoy each others company in silence. There is a LOT you can say without uttering a solitary word ! :)
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Wise words well spoken. :)

Not having much to say to each other may be a sign of nerves from both parties. Do not think that becasue you did not talk much that it's not worth it. Ask her out again and take her to an area where it's quiet but also where people are also milling about. Maybe behind a bush. ;) Joking!

The initial sign of a good thing is being able to enjoy comfortable silences.

If you both crack that bit, you are onto a winner. The wife and I have them and it feels more a sense of security than us not being able to talk to each other.

The rest will go hand in hand.
 
She probably didnt understand that you felt uncomfortable around her guy friends, and took your departure as a rejection of her and her friends.

TBH taking you to see her friends on your first date was a mistake on her part - but I wouldnt hold it against her, possibly she wanted to impress you.

Asking her out again is good advice! =)
 
Richdog said:
On a first date? :/
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The principle of "comfortable silence" applies whatever the date. Do you advocate that every moment has to be filled with words (or sex)?

Body language and the unverbalised "message" in how we act or respond count for an awful lot in any relationship whether first date or otherwise. I've found over the years that there is great skill involved in interpreting the unverbalised and "transmitting" it, especially when woman are involved because they see that part of communication far more keenly than us males.
 
tbz_ck said:
The principle of "comfortable silence" applies whatever the date. Do you advocate that every moment has to be filled with words (or sex)?

Body language and the unverbalised "message" in how we act or respond count for an awful lot in any relationship whether first date or otherwise. I've found over the years that there is great skill involved in interpreting the unverbalised and "transmitting" it, especially when woman are involved because they see that part of communication far more keenly than us males.
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Oh. My. God.
 
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