Funniest things your friends ever said...
- Thread starter sgx.saint
- Start date
Was in the office kitchen and it was one of those moments when everyone seemed to be wanting a hot beverage at the same same time.
One of the catering staff came in (a young attractive lady) and started going through all the cupboards obviously looking for something without success. She then turned to the assembled crowd of us and asked
"Has anyone seen my jugs?"
Another incident, friend of mine was in a queue in a sports shop some years ago when David Seaman was the England goalkeeper and witnessed a young woman go bright red when she asked if they had any goalkeeper gloves with 'Seaman' on them.
One of the catering staff came in (a young attractive lady) and started going through all the cupboards obviously looking for something without success. She then turned to the assembled crowd of us and asked
"Has anyone seen my jugs?"
Another incident, friend of mine was in a queue in a sports shop some years ago when David Seaman was the England goalkeeper and witnessed a young woman go bright red when she asked if they had any goalkeeper gloves with 'Seaman' on them.
When talking about euthanasia in school one day a girl in my year said "I've never been to Euthanasia, is it nice?" 
In the pub with a few mates. One mate out of nowhere comes up with?
"Anyone ever worn a gimp suit?"
Was at my mate's house in the lounge. My mate had toy guns. My other mate then said, "It would be funny if you went to church on Sunday and while the Vicar's giving a sermon stand up with the guns held up high and shout "ALLAH AKHBAR - DEATH TO INFIDELS!"
Was hysterical at the time.
In the pub with a few mates. One mate out of nowhere comes up with?
"Anyone ever worn a gimp suit?"
Was at my mate's house in the lounge. My mate had toy guns. My other mate then said, "It would be funny if you went to church on Sunday and while the Vicar's giving a sermon stand up with the guns held up high and shout "ALLAH AKHBAR - DEATH TO INFIDELS!"
Was hysterical at the time.
Soldato
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- 9 Nov 2003
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- The Motor City
I was wiping down my LCD monitor at work today with one of those pre-soaked cleaner wipes. When I finished, I offered it to my co-worker, "You want in on this while it's still wet?"
He said, "That's NOT something one guy should ever say to another."
I'm wondering if he was wrong.
He said, "That's NOT something one guy should ever say to another."
I'm wondering if he was wrong.
a long time ago when living at home, mates round we were on our way out and i was looking for some jeans, asked my nan
"have you see my jeans ?" to which she said
"yeah they are upstairs in the airing cupboard"
"they aren't" i said ( i had looked)
Cue much "they are, i put them there" / "they aren't"
then the old bird goes "I'm sure they are, I'm going upstairs to satisfy myself"
"have you see my jeans ?" to which she said
"yeah they are upstairs in the airing cupboard"
"they aren't" i said ( i had looked)
Cue much "they are, i put them there" / "they aren't"
then the old bird goes "I'm sure they are, I'm going upstairs to satisfy myself"
A few from a girl i work with...
"Is it cold enough outside for the sea to freeze?"
"If someone was decapitated could the sew the head back on and they live?"
"With the petrol strike will the trains still run?"
And from my housemate
"If there was a powercut though how would the cats eyes light in the road?"
"Is it cold enough outside for the sea to freeze?"
"If someone was decapitated could the sew the head back on and they live?"
"With the petrol strike will the trains still run?"
And from my housemate
"If there was a powercut though how would the cats eyes light in the road?"
One of my mates who got drunk while we were on a company induction week, when the conversation turned to something about flying:
"You know what else flies? A trout, when I ****ing kick it!"
One of the most random drunk statements I've ever heard, but gloriously funny at the time.
"You know what else flies? A trout, when I ****ing kick it!"
One of the most random drunk statements I've ever heard, but gloriously funny at the time.
One of my friends asks for a cheeseburger without the burger. As in, she seriously wants a cheeseburger, with no burger.
Many, many mates:
My Xbox360/PS3 has far nicer graphics than your pc
hilarous
I mean what were they thinking!
Very similar to one I got from my dad the other day:
Dad: You know when you get that intermittent dialing tone that means you have a message waiting on 1571?
Me: Indeed.
Dad: How do you access that?
What a div.
Me and some friends were paying in Tesco for some things and we chose to go to a cashier who we're all pretty good mates with, so when we're paying one of my friends says to him (the cashier) 'So, are you still working in Tesco?'
I was just gobsmacked, then I laughed a lot. He's never lived it down.
Oh and another one, a few days ago actually ..
I'm going to Benicassim in Spain and I was out with a girl who I know that's going too, she has booked her flights etc and started learning bits of Spanish, and she said to me 'Is Benicassim in Brazil?'. The thing is, she's an intelligent girl, she realised straight away what she'd said but the damage had been done.
I was just gobsmacked, then I laughed a lot. He's never lived it down.
Oh and another one, a few days ago actually ..
I'm going to Benicassim in Spain and I was out with a girl who I know that's going too, she has booked her flights etc and started learning bits of Spanish, and she said to me 'Is Benicassim in Brazil?'. The thing is, she's an intelligent girl, she realised straight away what she'd said but the damage had been done.