Thursday Joke

Breezy

Breezy

Breezy

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Joined
24 Jan 2008
Posts
279
Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a
picnic. Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The
trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away So, it takes them
ten days to get there.


When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer.
"Ok Roy give me the bottle opener"
"I didn't bring it" says Roy
"I thought you packed it" Mick gets worried,
He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
Naturally Andy didn't bring it.


So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle
opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as
he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after
they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the
sandwiches, he finally agrees.


So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace.
20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are
starving, but a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still
isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it
any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about
to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts,

















"I KNEW IT'....I'M NOT ****ING GOING!"
 
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk
he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question
time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand.
George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And fifth, what happened to Billy?"

i didnt write them copy and paste 4tw
 
A little girl asked her dad, 'How did the human race appear?'
The daddy answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her dad and said, 'dad how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and mother said they developed from monkeys?'
The dad answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers.'
 
I remember my half-brother telling me the OP's joke in the 80s. Seeing as I was about seven at the time I found it a lot funnier.
 
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