Working and family life

Admiral Huddy

Admiral Huddy

Admiral Huddy

Man of Honour
Joined
17 Feb 2003
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Location
Chelmsford
I was just wondering how other couples with children and a family who hold a full time job manage to make time for their family, partner, themselves and friends.

When I look at my day, I get a 3 to 4 hour window each evening to squeeze tin the things I need to do and the things I should be doing. I’m also convinced that as I’m getting older, this time feels to shrinking quicker than ever before for the things that really matter and maintaining an equilibrium.

I have been getting into a bit of a habit recently of not going out with friends or spending quality time with my wife. This has been mainly due to having to work evenings. Then there are mundane duties to do round the house at weekends to.. Then I wonder who other people manage?
 
This is truely what puts me off having children, at the moment I really don't feel I could give them the quality time that I got when I was growing up.
 
I don't have family or kids and I hardly have any spare time to myself, only see a couple of friends on a friday/saturday and thats about it :(

Since I started working full time, time has just gone by so quickly
 
Making the most of the weekend is how we normally do it. Also having a very understanding mother who likes to babysit helps.

Tend to do the jobs that need doing around the house during the evening after our daughter has gone to sleep. Food shopping once a week either as a family (cue hate from single people) or one does it while the other one plays with child.
 
I guess you're right to be worried and the fact that you are is a good sign. From my own experiences, I can't stress how important family time really is.

Both my parents worked full-time and then some (mother as a headteacher and father in construction). My Dad got up each morning at about 5:15 to walk the dog and get back in time to have some breakfast and then commute into work. He was gone before my Mum even got out of bed generally. I left with him for school at about 6:55 and got home in the evening at about 6 depending on the buses. Dad got home at about 7 and cooked and my Mum generally got home at about 8-8:30. By the time we'd eaten and Mum had had a rant about school, it was often about 9-9:30 and Mum would go to bed an hour or so later. In all, we never saw anyone else for more than a few hours a day. That was fine until I left school, when my Mum decided that she didn't want to live like that, and left.

I guess we were pretty out of the ordinary, but I do put it down to the fact that nobody really ever had time to spend together. If I get in that situation, I'm not making the same mistake :(
 
im kinda in a similar boat

i leave the house at 8 back at 4:30 then my wife leaves 2/3 days a week for work at 4:35

she also works weekends.

we have some time weekend evenings and the other nights she doesnt work.

because she only works 3 hours a night however i find it gives me some space and also some time with the kids i bathe them dress them feed them etc.

i dont mind during the week but the weekends are a killer, i will take the kids to the zoo / park or whatever and she cant come to and feels a bit down because were having fun and shes not invited so to speak.

its difficult but time is made for the everybody just about :)
 
Same boat here too - wife, we both work, 3 year old, 2 dogs & house = no time whatsoever.

No s*** our bedroom looks like we've been burgled, there's easily 10 unopened letters in the hall for me to read and generally we're just behind with everything because priority is family time. If the house has to be a tip so we can give our daughter the time she deserves then so be it.

Really we need a gardener and a cleaner but it sounds so utterly pathetic we can't keep on top of things, I mean there's people out there with 5 kids who seem to manage.

I have virtually no social time for friends, I just see my brother who is my best friend once a week for 2 or 3 hours or so.
 
This kind of thing is why I'm concerned about my income now, rather than when the baby pops out...won't be able to do overtime then.
 
I suspect it will be travel to and from work that is eating up a lot of the "free" time. Good thing now I am only 6 minutes on a pushbike away from work. Saves a lot of money as well. No petrol costs, less chance of a SMIDSY too, although cycling on the road does go a bit faster, I can afford to leave later for work and avoid traffic that is likely to run you over or generally be a neusence(sp?).
 
It's something I'm concerned about at the moment. We won't be having kids for another 2-3 years but I have to be at work for 8am and my gf has to catch the bus by 7.30 so I don't see any way of getting kids to school etc unless we get them there 2 hours early :(
 
Cyanide said:
It's something I'm concerned about at the moment. We won't be having kids for another 2-3 years but I have to be at work for 8am and my gf has to catch the bus by 7.30 so I don't see any way of getting kids to school etc unless we get them there 2 hours early :(
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surly one of you would go part time.
 
We thought it would be difficult but now that the other half retrained to be a classroom assistant, she now works in the same school as our son. So her work hours are the same as the sons school hours. And because i work some shifts i can leave him to shcool and pick him up. Thankfully i only work 1 weekend in 6 but the misses works a saturday so me and the son usally take our selves off the the cinema.
 
Admiral Huddy said:
Out the door at 6:45 or 7am back home at 7pm
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There you go, you need to shorten your commute or change jobs. Maybe get out the rat race ;)

I usually get 4pm-midnight
Or
2pm -10pm

To do my own stuff. Depending If I'm on days or nights. But good thing is works only like 15mins away not even that early in the mourning.
 
Its a hard, i get grief all the time from my wife all the time. I own a care home and home care company. I have to work 7 days a week. I leave at 8am and I'm generally back by 5pm then I'm back at work for 8pm the last two holidays my family have gone without me and its been over a years since I have gone on a family day.

I have commitments which I have to keep and if the work does not get done then their is no one else to do it.
 
^^^
Doesn't sound like much of a life.

This is why finding the right job is so hard. It's not just the tasks and environment you are in. But working hours, commute time, pay, bringing or thinking abouyt work at home and so many other things. I gladly sacrifice money to have short working weeks, to be outdoors away from an office and so when I leave work that's it there is no need and no reason for me to think about it till the next shift.
 
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