Help me find my daughter...

Skyfall, I really hope you track her down and get to see her grow up. I cannot believe her mother would do this to you both. All the best and sorry I couldn't offer any other info than has already been posted.
 
Man that really sucks.

I have no idea where to start on giving advice so from me you get a Good Luck.

I cannot even imagine how that must feel. The mother is a cow, I'm sure as a father of a child you are well within your rights to demand a certain amount of hours/days to spend with your child.

The one thing that doesnt seem to be mentioned (and believe me i dont mean to erm well offend or upset ya more) But how confident are you that you are the father ? It just seems bizzare that she would just pick up and go without any real talking to you or contact at all.
 
Do you send money to her monthly for your childs upbringing? If so, you could always cancel the direct debit payments for a short while. Thats a sure fire way of someone getting back in contact or notifying the CSA of your lack of financial assistance.

Once the CSA are involved you can then work on seeking access, they wont tell you where she is but will relay messages to her as if she is pursuing you for Child Maintenance then she has to prove you are the father (incase she put unknown on the birth certificate) and if so she cannot refuse you rights unless there is a legal reason to do so.
 
Adsta said:
The one thing that doesnt seem to be mentioned (and believe me i dont mean to erm well offend or upset ya more) But how confident are you that you are the father ? It just seems bizzare that she would just pick up and go without any real talking to you or contact at all.
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Well, you can never be 100% sure, but I am pretty sure I am the father, I have no reason to think she was unfaithful. And unless she has had some DNA tests done I don't think there is any way she could know it was not mine.

Twinblade said:
Do you send money to her monthly for your childs upbringing? If so, you could always cancel the direct debit payments for a short while. Thats a sure fire way of someone getting back in contact or notifying the CSA of your lack of financial assistance.
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No, she asked me money a few times before she was born and I sent her it every time and spent a few hundred on baby stuff too, but she said she did not want money monthly, even though this sounded OK as she generally had enough money, I would suggest anyone who is in a similar situation arrange to make payments regardless, or at least register with the CSA, then at least you have a route to go if it all goes **** up. Not something I thought would happen though.
 
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As a father myself, and having a mother who basically treated my real father the same way your babies mother has makes my blood boil.

Like many have said, there is not really anything I can add to help apart from good luck in finding her buddy. As a son who never saw his father due to my mother wanting no contact with him, I feel betrayed and disrespected. I hope it does not get to that point with your daughter and you are able to find her.

The CSA may help if you tell them that you need contact in order to pay any maintenence needed for the child.

Good luck :)
 
It has been four years now and I don’t understand why you gave up looking for her?

If you really want to find her that much then hire a private detective.
 
If you can afford it then i would call a private investigator. this company seems relevant as they have a specific department that deals with missing persons. http://www.ukprivateinvestigators.com/ I am sure they will have the knowledge on how to track her down they have a freephone number that you can tell them the situation and they will give you a quotation. Then you need to get a solicitor involved and send her a letter outlining you rights as a father...

I am not being harsh but one of the possible outcomes is that you may find out that she is not your daughter, Its something that you have to prepare yourself for. There may be a valid reason that she is being like this.
 
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Without you name on the birth certificate you don't really have a leg to stand on, I researched this just before my daughter was born, you could shell out for a DNA test I guess, it's abominable how she has treated you in relation to this and you do have my deepest sympathies m8, i'd suggest citizens advice bureau and/or social services. Luckily the law has changed nowadays so you can add your name to the birth certificate at any date assuming you can prove paternity. I'm not sure as to the exact specifics of how to go about this as your situation is slightly different to my own experience. I genuinely wish you the best and hope you do get it sorted.

It souns to me like she doesn't want you involved, I would suggest sending money regardless of whether she wants it or not, this will strengthen your case for visitation etc as it shows you have made the effort to be involved and to support your child. If you can get your name on the certificate you will have equal parenting rights to her and she will be obligated to come to a visitation agreement with you.
 
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Skyfall said:
Well, you can never be 100% sure, but I am pretty sure I am the father, I have no reason to think she was unfaithful. And unless she has had some DNA tests done I don't think there is any way she could know it was not mine.
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mkay.

I think it was mentioned on here before. If you was down as the father on the Birth Cert for the child you do have legal grounds to be able to see your child a few times a week. Unless there has been a court judgement to say otherwise. Which in this case i dont think there has been.

Seek legal advice. You do have rights. Some of the websites that have been linked already are good ones to use
 
Talk to a holistic / counsellor and or a solicitor. If they aren't the right people then its still a start, they'll put you on the right path. You need someone impartial to offer unconditional love. I feel for you, a friend of mine went throught this, ...but he came out the other side, much happier, and I'm sure you will too.
 
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Hate to say it, but I really couldn't 'forgive' someone if they ever did this to me...especially if I literally did nothing wrong to them.

If they just didn't want to be involved with me, then fair enough, at least tell me how you want thing's to be ffs.

I hope you find your daughter, I really do...I don't blame you for 'giving up' almost, to be in the position you where put in, would have been really demoralising.

As said, get legal advice, of any kind...literally, go see a lawyer just to get a scope of thing's...last thing you want to do is get in contact then get screwed over because you have no legal backing behind you.

I just hope she doesn't turn nasty, and start spouting lies about you to jeopardise you from seeing your daughter...Or start requesting money for that matter.

Best of luck buddy.
 
I would suggest getting in contact with "Families Need Fathers" a well established charity that, amongst other things, can help you deal with this sort of thing. Our office is in the same building as theirs and I know first hand from working with some of them (they are a client of ours) that they are a very caring, dedicated bunch who really believe in their cause.

The website is:

http://www.fnf.org.uk
 
Hi Skyfall

Did she take your name? I mean by this that after being born did she take your surname on the birth certificate. The reason I ask is because you have more rights if this is the case I'm not completely sure what exact rights they are but I know it puts you in to a better position to have access to your child etc. I'm guessing you weren’t there for the signing of the certificate but just thought I would say in case she did take your surname.

I'm not sure what other advice I can offer mate, Its hard as a single parent I know this but I have access to my kid I wouldn’t know what I would do if I didn’t. I would contact the many father help sites mate.
 
It used to be that you had to be married to have parental rights as a male, this is not the case anymore, all that is required is your name to be on the birth certificate
 
Skiddley said:
A name is just a name. The OP's name has to be listed as the farther to have any significance.
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Your correct its just a name but if your not married and she takes the fathers name it gives the father more rights. Like I said I don’t know all the details to this but the registrar at the time of registering the birth made a big song and dance about this and made sure my ex understood what she was doing as they are required by law too. Maybe the registrar was wrong about this maybe someone on here can clear this up. But this is what I was told at the time.

I understand that in real life it’s just a name and doesn’t have a bearing on him being the father. But from what she said at the time if my surname was used I would have more legal rights over my child. Being just named on the certificate doesn’t seem enough in this country which is silly I agree.
 
the OP wasn't there at the birth, the babies mother and her mother where present....

So I presume their names where put onto it.
 
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