Whats all this then - CATS

4p · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:42

This cat just keeps strolling in the catflap and taking a pish on the curtains

How can I kill it?

yhack · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:42

Buy a bear.

Aero · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:43

lock the catflap? or is it your cat?

Helium_Junkie · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:43

Place a guillotine on the inside of the catflap, cleverly rigged to set off when the flap is opened.

Born_2_Kill_83 · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:43

They dislike a cup of water

Mat · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:43

Remove the curtains... obv.

Gaz1988 · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:44

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7870507.stm

/thread

Kazz · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:44

Ask him politely to leave, he may be carrying a knife

TwoSaints · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:48

Goes nice in milk

4p · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:51

It's a ginger cat i think

******* gingers

james.miller · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:51

one of those electronic cat flap thingies. that'll sort it.

antijoke · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:52

Lynx + lighter = chargrilled cat.

The Dread Pirate · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:52

Nuke + Orbit = Job Done!

998cc · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:53

Electrify the curtains.

Le_Petit_Lapin · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:53

Thorpy said:
This cat just keeps strolling in the catflap and taking a pish on the curtains

Ah hah hah hah!

Its going to keep coming back if it thinks it can get away with it, thinks that's its toilet now.

Just wait for it by the door, holding a Jack Russell in a closed box, once the carflap starts opening let the dog loose.

Bet it wont come back.

More humanely, wait for it with a super soaker, once its heads through, blast it!

JBuk · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:55

You need to pee in your kitchen

~>Dg<~ · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:56

rusty bike chain across its back , thatll teach it.

or

grab it quickly dip it in a wok and see if its gills move.

i will time you to make sure its official.

Le_Petit_Lapin · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:57

Seriously though, get a dog, solves most cat related problems.

zootfloot · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:57

NOOOOO dont kill it.

What you want to do is this: kneel in front of the catflap with your ass facing it, when the cat pokes its head through just take a s*** on its face, then grab the cat and rub its nose in it like you would a puppy.

The cat will then regret its actions.

TwoSaints · 5 Feb 2009 at 15:57

You need to pee on your curtains yourself so that you claim them back, it's peeing on them because it thinks it owns them