How much in commmon do you have with your partner?

Zefan said:
That's not really having stuff in common, it's being with someone for long enough that your personalities sort of meld together. Good though isn't it :p
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True I guess, but it's something that we've done since we first knew each other, as if out personalities were already kinda melded together. It's seriously freaky at times though. For example, we'll both be doing our own thing for a couple of minutes and then say exactly the same thing at the same time about a topic from a couple of weeks ago. Still cool though. :)
 
My girlfriend and I have very different personalities, but I think it works well. I'm extremely driven for myself and outwardly confident. I don't generally tend to react emotionally to most situations. She's very family-orientated and will worry more about situations that wouldn't bother me. She's very clever and worthy of everything she gets, she just needs to realise it :)
 
He and I share an awful pun-tastic sense of humour. The more we can make the other groan, the better! Though it does sometimes mean periods of silence when one tries to come up with something punny in reply to what the other has just said.

Otherwise - I dance, sail, and ski, none of which he does.

But then he basketballs, loves gigs (I go along to many of them too), and plays guitar - of which I do none. But I do enjoy his playing.

For a while I wanted him to start dancing with me, but it's become rather less important.

We also both like to put lots of effort into fancy-dress, both ride bikes, both engineers (he mechy, me sparky), both enjoy a good geek-out (he's one for Slashdot, I prefer El Reg)...


...I'd say there's a balance - it's good to have things in common, but also good to have your own things that you enjoy doing and that make you you.
 
I have a reasonable amount in common with her, in terms of stuff we've experienced in our lives, where we grew up, and the fact that we both value security fairly highly.

IMO having a lot in common with a partner isn't essential, it's more important that you are tolerant and understanding of your differences. She's not really a football fan but can sit and watch a match with me, she's not into gaming really but understands that I'll stay up to 1am playing games. Conversely I can live with going to the odd chick flick at the pictures every now and then, and don't mind her obsession with fluffy toys and the like. We're both quite forgiving in general and never have serious fallings out.

There's sometimes I wish we were more alike, of course. I wish she had a less obvious/tame sense of humour - there's other women who make me laugh more.

...and then there's sometimes I wish she was a bit different. We're both relatively introverted which means that we're probably viewed as a fairly boring couple by others. She has very little drive and doesn't push me career wise, she's quite happy to just maintain the status quo and live the same old life eating the same food and watching the same tv shows. I know if I was with someone else I'd get more 'life experiences', be out there doing new things and meeting new people, but I've always tended to value love and support over that type of stuff.

What someone mentioned above about it being important to not feel uncomfortable during periods of silence, that very much rings a bell with me. We talk a hell of a lot of meaningless drivel (just really boring everyday stuff like planning meals for the week, what we've done during the day bla bla) but it's pretty rare that I feel like I need to say something to keep her interested. That certainly isn't true for all women.

I guess at the end of the day it all boils down to what one wants out of a relationship. I basically turned down a 'party girl' who most would brand a better catch than my partner, because I knew we had different agendas in life, and that as fun as she was, I couldn't see a long term future with her. There needs to something more than just a physical attraction and a shared sense of humour.
 
me and my partner both like computers, playing world of warcraft and games, and building pc's and upgrading them,

we also have a daughter together who is now 2.
 
12 years and getting married in may.

You don't need anything in common as long as you are willing to speak to them and listen about their interests.
 
We shared only a few things in common, music and socializing when we met. Most of our hobbies are completely different but there is one we now share. Our different personalities have made for a lively relationship, we discuss, argue, agree, compromise, never a dull moment. We share our lives and that over the years has made our relationship so strong and wonderful.
 
The wife and I have a lot in common both emotionally and mentally. This can work in both ways but it also helps make us stronger as we bounce off each other.

When it comes to other things, she loves her clothes and shoes, I love my computing and gaming. She does however try things like gaming and sucks, especially at Grid. :)

I do not try her clothes and shoes on though. ;)
 
Me and my girlfriend are extremely similar in terms of music/film/tv/entertainment as a whole but she's quite temperamental and I'm very calm, so in terms of core personality we're quite different but everything else is very, very similar. I'm very passionate about film, music and TV etc. and it's so lucky that she is too and that she loves all the same things that I do. She (says she) enjoys Top Gear from time to time and she'll watch football with me every weekend, especially if I have money on the games, she'll cheer along, so she even likes the more masculine side of things (Top Gear and Football is as manly as I get). She's great. But she does have her small flaws and sometimes I do have to watch the odd Gossip Girl episode etc :p
 
I like similar things to my girlfriend but we don't have that much in common. We like going out and having a good dance but don't get really drunk. Also we both like travelling around other than that we are both just up for doing anything so it works at the moment.
 
I like gigs, playing guitar, music, film.
She likes painting, dancing and a different kind of film.

She comes to gigs with me and comes to watch me play, and I give her feedback on her painting.

We don't share a lot in common, but we try and fit in with eachother's lives. I think I'd go insane if we had the same interests.
 
Sonea Fifer said:
If I may also add - I feel it's important that when the conversation does run out, neither of you feel uncomfortable with the silence.
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Zefan said:
That's not really having stuff in common, it's being with someone for long enough that your personalities sort of meld together. Good though isn't it :p
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These two sum up my relationship with my partner. Pretty much 5.5 years at the moment.

The no conversation one is really important, if you feel awkward with someone when nothing is being said then something isn't right. There are, however, times in life where nothing needs to be said and you can both just shut the **** up :)

This kind of goes into Zefan's comment about being the same person. Starting to tell what each other is thinking or thinking of something completley random and then find out the other is thinking that too!

We have similar interests in terms of: music/film/tv/games. We think differently, I don't think as logically as her and will often just get stuck in and learn through experience.

On the whole I'd say a fair bit but not to make us the same person! I can't stand it with new or old couples and they are so the same person it makes you sick!
 
So I ask my parents the same question and here was the response

Dad - "Well, we were good dancing partners in our time and have all sorts in common"
Mum - "And what are they then?"
Silence
Dad - leans over "I was a bit of a looker as well"
Mum - "Well it wasn't your trouser department that exactly did it"
Me - :eek:
Dad - "Well where do you think our son got his lunch box from?"
Me - "OMG mum, dad.........."
Dad - "Who do you think changed you're nappy, the tooth fairy?"
Me - :o

Parents :rolleyes:
 
[TW]Fox;13648732 said:
All that really matters is that you thoroughly enjoy each others company and never find yourselves short on conversation.
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True, except for one example. The phone.

I don't like talking over the phone for prolonged periods. I can go on for hours face to face, but I prefer avoiding long phone conversations.
 
I don't think you need everything in common but do need at least an overlap where you share some common interests.

At least that's what me and the wife are like. She has her interests, I have mine and we have some in common.
 
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