Killzone 2 Limited Edition OMG I just didn't Give It Away Did I?

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Thesnipergecko

Thesnipergecko

Thesnipergecko

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Ok, to win this one to give everyone a chance to post something. Don't care what you post just make it interesting/funny something I will like. I will pick the winner when I get home later ;)
 
right, so there was this new boy in his new school and the teacher asked him the 4 letters of the alphabet
*he didnt no them so he went home
he asked his dad the first letter of the alphabet while he was hammering...
*and his dad hurt himself and said "DAMN!"

*so he asked his mum the 2nd letter of the alphabet while she was singing and doing the dishes and she said "yeah yeah yeah"



*so then he asked his brother the third letter of the alphabet. he was watching batman and he said "dododododo batman!"

*then he went to his litle brother and asked him what the 4th letter of the alphabet was while he was watching brum and he said "in my little broom brom car".

*then when he went back to school the teacher asked him the first letter of the alphabet and he said "DAMN"

*then she sent him to the principles office and he said are u gonna get away with this. then he said "yeah yeah yeah".

*then he said "whose gonna save you now?
the the boy says dododododo BATMAN!"

*then the principle says "how u gonna get away with it?"
then the boy says "in my little broom broom car!!"
 
Nothing better than a joke I guess! :p

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver ' s license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ' Unbutton your shirt ' . So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, ' That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me ' and she processed my Social Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, ' You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too. '
 
Dude, there are pills for this kinda thing?!?

But hey, who am I to not get in on the chance for a game I wanted to buy anyway :D

From my penguin bar earlier...
Q "Why can't penguins fly?"

A"Because they can't afford the air fare!!" :D :D

You see, what they did there was word the question in such a way that implied it was an anatomical issue for the fightless beast, however, they gave an abstract answer that humanised penguins and stated that their issue with flight was merely financial!! Oh how we laughed!!

Seriously though, I guess even if they did have the funding, they don't have pockets, so they couldn't carry a bank card......
Perhaps you can overanalyse these things??!

Oh, and if my obscure ramblings didn't get me anywhere, how about the fact I got passed up for a position at work in favour of someone who was way less qualified than me but unarguably much fitter with a cracking pair of legs!!

Sympathy for the win Gecko ;)
 
idemandanexplanationbab.jpg
 
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

:p

edit: True story, I typed worlds funniest joke into google and got the above =/
 
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You can’t get ahead by hanging on. Clinging to where you are or what you had will never lead to growth, it leads to a slow painful death.

If you want to grow, you need to have faith, you have to let go and trust the bottom won’t kill you, that maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll bounce when you hit.

It’s the same reason drunks have the uncanny knack for surviving car accidents… they are relaxed at impact while sober people tighten up trying to avoid the inevitable and their own desire to survive helps kill them.

It’s like the football team playing the prevent. They aren’t playing to win, they are playing not to lose. The greatest comebacks in history were made against teams that had given up on playing to win and decided to try not to lose.

Clinging to what you have is an act of desperation. It isn’t creative, it isn’t helpful, and you won’t like the results.

The secret to creative growth is the opposite of clinging, it is the act of letting go.
 
Original material not just copied and pasted from a website. They are quite funny so give them a read

when I was 8 I thought those turkey dinosaurs were actually made of dinosaur and that was the main reason for their extension


OK got a good one: I was on teaching practice two years ago and doing a guided read with a girl aged 7. She kept telling me about her Grandma who had recently died. She then stating the fantastic question: Do you want to know how she died? I said yes. She said she had fallen down the stairs. Obviously as a trainee teacher I comfort her and say maybe she had slipped or tripped and that it was an accident.

Then she just said the fantastic words (bear in mind she is 6)

"Well thats what you get for being a drunk" this was said as if she was an adult - I think she had just heard what her mum had said.


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Same block placement two years ago as the story above. We went to a large country house which had gardens and a mini farm. We went to see the horses and ponies - The 2nd largest horse in Europe next to a little shetland pony - was quite funny

Then we went to see the baby goats - these were sort of teenage aged goats with little horns. Now these things liked to do one thing it seemed - fight. they kept ramming into each other and I had to explain that this was part of growing up as a goat.

Then one of the goats turns around and one of its horns is hanging of its face and its bleeding quite heavily. the children start screaming "It's dieing save it Mr O (nickname) save it"

I spot a fella who works for the farm as a security guard. this gu was clearly a bouncer at nights as well as he was pretty beefy, bold head and a big black jacket. One of the kids says : Is he the vet?

Yep! I say I'll have a word. I approach this guy like the pied piper with a group of kids behind me. I say "er excuse, the children are a little concerned about a goat that seems to have taken an injury is there any chance that you couldhave a look at it?"

The guy looks at me and the kids and says "yeah I'll have a look at it" and he then walks away in the other direction. I spotted him having a fag about 2 mins later. No real punch line just a funny story.


hope you like :)
 
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I used to own hooded rats, The cutest thinks alive, they used to sit on my shoulder in the evening as I watched TV. We had a huge cage with 2 in it, one day we decided to buy 2 more. It wasn't until we did that that we would out how territorial they are.

We added the 2 new ones to the cage and the original 2 almost killed the new ones. Strange thing was, we separated them, cleaned the cage out out and put them back and they were as happy as anything.

I guess the original 2 had just been defending there territory, once the smell was neutral they were find - Very interesting I thought.

Rich
 
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I used to own hooded rats, The cutest things alive, they used to sit on my shoulder in the evening as I watched TV. We had a huge cage with 2 in it, one day we decided to buy 2 more. It wasn't until we did that, that we would find out how territorial they are.

We added the 2 new ones to the cage and the original 2 almost killed the new ones. Strange thing was, we separated them, cleaned the cage out and put them back and they were as happy as anything.

I guess the original 2 had just been defending there territory, once the smell was neutral they were fine - Very interesting I thought.

Rich
Click to expand...

Edited to make reading easier
 
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