The Interrogation room

Gustov said:
Well that was a necessary dig, thanks for that.
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I couldn't help myself. It was the Irish in me (if there is any).

To be honest though it just appears a bit drab to me and all of the characters appear to be perfect stereotypes rather than believable people.
 
Nebzor said:
I couldn't help myself. It was the Irish in me (if there is any).

To be honest though it just appears a bit drab to me and all of the characters appear to be perfect stereotypes rather than believable people.
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If you read a script from a very good film you'd never seen you'd probably dislike it :o

It's hard to like it when you don't have that image in the back of your mind of how its all going to come together.

Please make some suggestions as to how you'd make it less 'drab'

Here is an example of my last film in which i wrote the script, it's an adaptation of the Tortoise and the Hare, in which two guys are after the same girl, excuse the quality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtQ0OsPQ_1w&feature=channel_page
 
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Gustov said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpNtde_owk4&feature=related

Example here using over the shoulders

Here is the script for those who are interested :)

‘’Asphyxiate’’ SHOOTING SCRIPT 6TH MARCH 2009

1. Ext. Dell. DAY
Police tape cordons off an area in a forest. A young teenage girl has been raped and murdered, forensics have cleared all evidence from the scene.
Detective Johnson (35) arrives at the scene. PC Evans (mid – 20s) and PC Roberts (also in mid-20s) are at the scene.

PCs Evans and Roberts look to see DC Johnson approach who nods at the two uniformed officers

PC Evans.
Dan EvansPoints to self Chris Roberts.Points to colleague


Detective Johnson
What we got lads ?

PC Evans
Murder with a sexual motive, it isn't a pretty sight.

Detective Johnson
Victim?

PC Evans
Alison Marsh, 19, college student, popular, pretty, she had it all going for her.

Detective Johnson
How do you know she’s a college student?

PC Evans-
I just assumed so. She looks the type.

Detective Johnson
Assumptions are usually the mother of all **** ups, so don’t assume. Do we have any leads?

PC Roberts
Forensics are working on it, but from our point of view, nothing.

Detective Johnson
No blood?

PC Roberts
Not a single wound.

Detective Johnson
So how was she murdered?

PC Evans
Strangled, but whoever did it left no evidence behind. No witnesses, no suspects, whoever did this knew exactly what they were doing. Unless the forensics dig up something big, we’ve got a lot of work on our hands.

Detective Johnson
Get moving then, I wanna know what she was doing that day, from the second she woke until she was last seen. I want to know every detail of this girl's life.

2. Interrogation room. Int. Day
Detective Johnson interviews Mark Salford (21, boyfriend of Alison Marsh)

Detective Johnson
I know this must be hard for you but if you want justice for your girlfriend’s sake, I’d much appreciate your co-operation.

Mark Salford
I don’t know how I’m going to be of much help, but I’ll do my best.

Detective Johnson
Well, let’s start with some simple questions, all standard procedure. Where were you yesterday afternoon between the hours of 2-3PM?

Mark Salford
What? You’re accusing me of this ****? You think I’d kill Alison?

Detective Johnson
That’s what I’m trying to find out.

Mark Salford
**** you, you ignorant pig.

Detective Johnson (sarcastically)
Well if you could rid me of my ignorance, that’d be much appreciated.

Detective Johnson
So, I’ll ask you again, what were you doing between the hours of 2-3 PM?

Mark Salford
I don’t know.

Detective Johnson
Well I suggest you start thinking.

Mark Salford
Work! I was at work.

Detective
Where do you work?

Mark Salford
I’m a mechanic 01432 886941, that’s my boss’s number, ring him.

3. Outside Interrogation room. Int. Day
Detective Johnson asks for PC Roberts’s assistance.

Detective Johnson
I need confirmation that Mark Salford was at work
Yesterday between the hours of 2-3 PM, here are all the details.

Detective Johnson hands over paperwork

PC Roberts
Right.

4. Interrogation room. Int. Day

Mark Salford
So what happens now? You ring my boss, he confirms I was at work and I’m free to go?

Detective Johnson
Correct, you have to understand Mr. Salford that with cases of this nature it’s normal that the boyfriend is interviewed first. Think about it, you’re likely to provide us with one of two things. You’ll either give us a lot of helpful information that we wouldn’t have been able to acquire from any other source, or you’ll be the prime suspect, which means we’ve cut to the chase straight away.

PC Roberts Knocks on interrogation door

5. Outside Interrogation room. Int. Day

PC Roberts
He’s lying; his boss said he left work between 2 and 3PM.

Detective Johnson
Excellent. Thanks.

6. Interrogation Room. Int. Day

Detective Johnson
So it turns out you’ve been lying to me all along.

Mark Salford
What?

Detective Johnson
Your boss has just informed us you left work at 2 and didn’t return until 3.

Mark Salford
Oh s***, I forgot, that’s when I took my lunch break, I met up with a few friends down the pub.

Detective Johnson
Ok Mark, friends, names.

Mark Salford
Erm, John Slade, Josh Brown, Andrew Martin and believe it or not my girlfriend’s ex, Daniel Evans

Detective Johnson
Who?

Mark Salford
What?

Detective Johnson
The Last name.

Mark Salford
Daniel Evans.

Flashbacks of first scene

‘I’m PC Evans and this is PC Roberts’

Detective Johnson
Daniel Evans, was he with you the whole time? From 2 to 3?

Mark Salford
No, he left early; he said he had to get back to work.

Detective Johnson
What does he look like?

Mark Salford
Around 5ft 10, Short Brown hair, muscular build.

Flashbacks showing PC Evans matching the description given by Mark Salford.

Detective Johnson
Daniel Evans is a police constable, he didn’t have work yesterday.

Flashbacks of the Following from the first scene

Detective Johnson
How do you know she’s a colleague student?

PC Evans
I just assumed so sir.

PC Evans
Strangled, but whoever did it left no evidence behind. No witnesses, no suspects, whoever did this knew exactly what they were doing. Unless the forensics dig up something big, we’ve got a lot of work on our hands.

Extreme Close up of Detective Johnson’s face and eyes as he realizes PC Evans is now the prime suspect.
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I have jigged it a bit and below are some points.

Is the lead detective a DC, Ds or DI ?

I ask because in this country, DCs are not referred to as Detective. It is a very American term which sounds unrealistic, certainly to cops that might read it anyway.

A DS would be called sarge andd a DI would be called Guv, Sir or Boss depending on where in the country you were.

A uniformed cop would not call a DC or a DS sir.

My 2p worth anyway. :)
 
Von Smallhausen said:
I have jigged it a bit and below are some points.

Is the lead detective a DC, Ds or DI ?

I ask because in this country, DCs are not referred to as Detective. It is a very American term which sounds unrealistic, certainly to cops that might read it anyway.

A DS would be called sarge andd a DI would be called Guv, Sir or Boss depending on where in the country you were.

A uniformed cop would not call a DC or a DS sir.

My 2p worth anyway. :)
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Thank you very much, i really appreciate your efforts

Difference between a DS and DI what they stand for please?

I = Inspector
S= Sargent ?

All in all what did you make of the script with your revisions?
 
Gustov said:
Thank you very much, i really appreciate your efforts

Difference between a DS and DI what they stand for please?

I = Inspector
S= Sargent ?

All in all what did you make of the script with your revisions?
Click to expand...

A DS / Detective Sergeant will run a shift of DC / Detective Constables.

A DI / Detective Inspector will head maybe 4 shifts of Detective Sergeants and the DCs under them.

Programmes like The Bill often show a DI in interview which I personally have never seen or heard of in 9 years as a rozzer and to me it is unrealistic but that is not to say that any member of the public who is watching will find it the same. The highest ranking detective I know that has conducted an interview is a Detective Sergeant but again that is only in my experience.

Other shows such as Midsomer Murders have a DCI / Detective Chief doing routine enquiries which a DCI would not do although it looks good on the TV.

I made the revisions to give it more of a sense or realism but that is only from my experiences as an officer and it won't neccessarily make that difference to someone who isn't a cop if that makes sense.
 
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Your revisions will be taken into account and most of them will be used so thank you very much!

It's nice to have an insight from someone who actually works in the force.

It's where i plan to work when i finish my degree :)

Hopefully having a degree, a part time job for the last 5 years and being 22 (at the time) will help me get in ahead of those 18 year old noobs with no qualifications :) I'm 6'1 and not obese :D
 
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You are quite welcome. Shout up if you want any more info.

Best of luck with it. :)

I am toying with writing a book of short stories although getting around to it is another matter.
 
You mention clean shaven, tidy etc, wouldn't this depend how you want to portray it ? ie could be dishevelled looking, having been up all night working on the case ?
 
Good point but I'm guessing they have to be clean shaven

I work at Tesco and we aren't allowed a lot of facial hair (not that i can grow it at 19 :( )
 
I'd love to see your attempt

What do you do for a job? Write Script reports?

It's a 5 minuet short so I hardly have time to build the characters personality, I have to stick to the conventions of the genre otherwise the audience are going to be utterly confused.

All of the actors who have experience in the field complimented me on the script so your opinion doesn't really matter to me, i doubt you read scripts on a regular occurrence anyway...
 
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R.E the script. You can afford to cut half of that out. Basically the less that's said the better the screenplay in most cases. Cut out any unnecessary replies. Any sort of reply from secondary characters that's not totally needed etc. As for interrogations, lots to go on, pay attention to your lighting primarily, it's a bit cliched, but shadows and directional lighting in a small room do pretty much scream interrogation.
 
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