If a small man tried to mug you at knifepoint....

For some reason I am now reminded of the following joke:

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war.
A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, we don't have enough rifles. What am I going to use for the war?"

"I don't have time to deal with this right now" the lieutenant thought.

He grabbed a broom, sawed off the bottom, and handed it to the solder. "Here use this instead."

"How is this going to work?"

"When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang'".

So the private ran out with his new "rifle". But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying "Lieutenant, we don't have enough bayonets!"

The Lieutenant grabbed a piece of string off of his desk and gave it the private. "When you see the bad guys coming just throw this at them and say 'Stabity Stab Stab, Stab Stab.'"

So the private was all ready for his war. He was sitting in a fox hole, hating being out there, when he saw an enemy creeping along the top of a nearby hill.

He grabbed his broom, pointed it at the bad guy and said "Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang" and he fell down dead.

"Wow this really works" thought the private. He started going through the underbrush when another enemy jumped out and try to gut him - he threw his string at him and said, 'Stabbity Stab Stab, Stab Stab!'. The enemy fell down, dead.

Pretty soon, he saw another guy rampaging through the woods. He pointed his broomstick at him and yelled, 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang!' Nothing, so he did it again, 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang!' The guy was running at him now. He threw the string, Stabbit Stab Stab StabStab!' The enemy kept running at him and plowed him over, mortally wounding him.

Then he heard the big guy mumbling as he went past him "Tankity Tank Tank Tank Tank Tankity Tank Tank Tank Tank."
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simulatorman said:
After all the rhetoric, none us know. :)
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Of course. Even though I'm a big guy and could probably easily overpower him, and I stay relatively cool under pressure, I still couldn't conceive the idea of being held at knife point by a someone. Whether or not he's a small man is irrelevant - it doesn't take much to inflict a lethal wound with a knife.
 
It's not the size of the man in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the man.... plus, in this scenario the man has a knife and you don't...

Just whack him with your keyboard :)
 
just hand over the wallet, unless he actually goes for you with the knife its pointless trying to be a hero.

no matter how good you think you are at knife defence techniques there is always a chance you will get seriously injured. just not worth it
 
I reckon the ultimate strategy is to take your phone out when asked, load up the web browser, and subject the mugger to Meatspin.

While they're mesmerised, remove the knife from their hand (slowly), and leave the scene.
 
Pestilence said:
I reckon the ultimate strategy is to take your phone out when asked, load up the web browser, and subject the mugger to Meatspin.

While they're mesmerised, remove the knife from their hand (slowly), and leave the scene.
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So this all happens in slow motion. ;)

Then the director cuts to the funeral scene. :p
 
deuse said:
A , but if he goes for me I will just put my hand on his head to keep him away from me
then hit him.
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Somehow I can see a fatal flaw in this plan :)

Pestilence said:
I reckon the ultimate strategy is to take your phone out when asked, load up Facebook, and subject the mugger to Cloe Moore.

While they're mesmerised, remove the knife from their hand (slowly), and leave the scene.
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Fixed ;)
 
It'd be an interesting way to die at least. Think of the adrenaline rush as you're brutally stabbed through the gut and lie there on the ground bleeding profusely.
 
me227 said:
Would you?

A) Try and take him on, he's only a small guy.

or

B) Just give him your wallet.


I'd say A. But i'm sure i'd think differently if it actually happened. :o


EDIT 2: OK he's 5' 4 now. 4' 3 is a bit too small.
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C) tell him your mate or wife has more money on them :p
 
casually get my wallet out throw it at him, whilst it flew through the air i would pounce his knife arm... grabbing it and applying a wing chun armlock... now i can either make him drop the blade or break his arm :)

midget chavs stand no chance.
 
I would hand over the cash. Unlike when a bare handed midget fancied mugging me near sheffield train station a couple of years back, he asked me for my laptop bag, I held it out so he had to reach forward then dropped him as he he reached for the bag. Think he took me for an easy target as my walkings not 100% due to being paralysed bellow the knees due to muscle wasting so im held up with carbon fibre, have to keep in shape to keep the muscle wasting in check so im in pretty good shape mostly. Never been able to run away from a fight so I ended up doing various things to make dam sure I can take care of myself, but a knife, no.
 
Erm, if sprinting away wasn't an option, i'd say B)

I'm not dying for the £5 note, RAC card, debit card and student rail card currently sitting in my wallet!
 
qs39sw.jpg


Job done :D
 
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Let alone small, I once had a 6' 6" guy pull a metal pole on me. I punched the crap out of him until he literally blew away from me.









Streets of Rage 2 was a great game.
 
platinum picture ?

I'm 6ft 6 and built like a brick out house, if he was 4 foot nothing.

I'd pwn him.

Honestly, not sure. I'm a cool and calm person normally and things don't often phase me. I have no idea how I'd react.
 
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