The OcUK Alpha thread

Damn I'm so alpha it works across the internet! :eek:

Get nekkid baby cos I'm gonna ravage ya!!! :D :cool:

Erm, as you live 2 and a half hours away, I'll get naked in about 2 and a quarter hours alright, cos I might get cold.....or is that not honourary alpha? :p
 
I've never used hair gel and I've never bathed with candles round the bath, except with a girl. I've not had a clean shaven face for 20 years or more and the huge volume of testosterone within me has savagely attacked my hairline. I'm dangerously competitive and I talk over people all the time.

This is my ****ing thread and anyone who says otherwise is a girl.
 
I keep my ancient car running in one piece by sheer force of my indomitable will.

I once had an awkward moment... just to see what it would feel like.

I can cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.

My blood smells like cologne.
 
I leave trenches eitherside of me when I walk purely owing to my knuckles dragging by my sides. I sweat, and am thinning somewhat on my head, I have about 4 "products" I use, shower gel, shaving gel, deodarant and toothpaste and even that makes me feel slightly effeminate. I don't like fashion and just wear whatever the **** I want and don't follow "trends" - I don't watch soaps or reality TV shows, I like cop shows and action films. I think farting is natural and something to be proud of, and never drink wine at a bar. I like machinery and tools, cars and bikes. Injuries are cool, calluses on your hands and scars are symbols of masculinity. No moisturisers or facewash have ever touched my skin. Women fall at my my feet owing to the amount of testosterone I exude. I wear my hairy chest with pride, and let my gym abused body's sinews throb masculinely towards potential mates.

I sleep, I feed, I graft, I ravage. That is my purpose.

Yet you witter on like a girl... ;)
 
I've just got back from the gym, bought myself a new gun to go shooting people at the weekend with and am about to cook myself a steak.. Think I'm in! :p
 
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I raise you -

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However does shaving your pubes count as being gay?
 
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