Completely agree.
What would you do? (relationship)
- Thread starter CaptainComedy
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Completely agree.
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you know he ate humble pie? said it tasted good. want some? just gotta read the whole thread.
So I guess your choice is between:
a) Being with the love of your life and until you marry her, getting used to knocking one out once in a while to reduce the effect of "blue balls" (which is a little bit of a mythical affliction anyway - HOWEVER even as a girl I can get sexually frustrated and will occasionally 'sort myself out').
OR
b) Breaking up with this wonderful woman, getting more sex with someone else, risking never finding anyone so good again.
I feel a little sad you've told her about the whole blue balls thing - unused sperm actually just gets reabsorbed into the body, and it's not like you HAVE to release them into her or her hand or wherever. That's something you can just deal with yourself - if you truly love her and respect her values, you'll get used to it.
a) Being with the love of your life and until you marry her, getting used to knocking one out once in a while to reduce the effect of "blue balls" (which is a little bit of a mythical affliction anyway - HOWEVER even as a girl I can get sexually frustrated and will occasionally 'sort myself out').
OR
b) Breaking up with this wonderful woman, getting more sex with someone else, risking never finding anyone so good again.
I feel a little sad you've told her about the whole blue balls thing - unused sperm actually just gets reabsorbed into the body, and it's not like you HAVE to release them into her or her hand or wherever. That's something you can just deal with yourself - if you truly love her and respect her values, you'll get used to it.
I feel a bit funny when a girls talks/types like that
I took my original post back when you mentioned there was a one sided bias in the physical relationship. Had this not been the case, i would have stuck to my guns
n
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I'm going to do a and see how it pans out, I think you are really understating the issue.
It's sad for you to call blue balls as mythical when I have first hand experience. But the unisex wording is pelvic congestion.
as stated I am not comfortable with DIY when she is there which is for 3 days, even after the first night I am frustrated, which is nobody's fault but that's just the way it is.
its not about releasing into her or her hand or any part of her. Its the need for release that is the problem, if I didn't have to deal with it there would be no issue. I'm not putting the blame on her for what ever I go through, but I get it because I get aroused in her presence. It's natural. As far as the semen being reabsorbed. I have no idea how much or how long that takes. I just have to put up with the symptoms of said effect.
and truely loving someone doesn't mean you should go through unnecessary pain, mood swings and all the rest. How would you feel if every time you had a prolonged sexual arousal without orgasm you had your period? the heavy and cramping kind? would you be happy to live life like that just because your lover didn't believe in sex before marriage? so you had to give him sexual favours and he didn't reciprocate?
I don't think about sex much, it happens when you get aroused for an extended period of time and you do not orgasm. I.e you get very turned on for say 30 minutes, nothing happens, an hour later same thing, times that by say 4 to 5 times. Then sit in a room on your own for a short time. You'll feel uncomfortable, have a sensitive penis, you'll get cramping pains like you need to fart but there's nothing there.
Trying to release is difficult because you gotta put the pain to the back of your mind and it's like trying to start up a 1900s wind up car.
It's all even worse when the girl that got you like that is in the room next door to this whole event because the only thing that goes through your head is that you have to put up with the pain for at least 4-5 years.
Have you sought medical help?
The NHS probably have something.............
Basically what I'm saying is it isn't her fault that you have blue-balls, and if the problem persists you should get over trying to get her to solve your problem and go see a doctor.
The NHS probably have something.............
Basically what I'm saying is it isn't her fault that you have blue-balls, and if the problem persists you should get over trying to get her to solve your problem and go see a doctor.
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Soldato
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Id say its a no go.
Need someone with similar wants to you... if sex is THAT much to you and not for her... its not worth it.
Need someone with similar wants to you... if sex is THAT much to you and not for her... its not worth it.
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If you have to ask the question, then surely shes not the one?
Its not everything, but granted, _can_ be important to some people. Its understandable that you dont share the same views, but if you're frustrated and shes quite willing to wait, then as a lot of people are saying, maybe you're not as compatible as you thought?
I'm a Christian, and did believe in this. But after someone close to me 'obeyed the rule' and had a failed marriage and some severe heartache that might not have even happened because of all this, I've decided its not for me.
It may seem like sex might be the only problem as a result of her being a Christian, but if there are other things that you cant get around because of her beliefs, what are you going to do then?
If you cant respect her decision, its easier to end it now rather than wait another 12 months to see if she changes her mind.
Its not everything, but granted, _can_ be important to some people. Its understandable that you dont share the same views, but if you're frustrated and shes quite willing to wait, then as a lot of people are saying, maybe you're not as compatible as you thought?
I'm a Christian, and did believe in this. But after someone close to me 'obeyed the rule' and had a failed marriage and some severe heartache that might not have even happened because of all this, I've decided its not for me.
It may seem like sex might be the only problem as a result of her being a Christian, but if there are other things that you cant get around because of her beliefs, what are you going to do then?
If you cant respect her decision, its easier to end it now rather than wait another 12 months to see if she changes her mind.
I stand corrected on the congestion. But the blueness itself is mythical
I'm not saying you should get used to the pain and discomfort, I'm saying you should get used to the idea of sorting yourself out - which doesn't seem all that much to ask if you are keen enough on her. You're 'not comfortable with DIY' but you're also clearly not comfortable the way things are now, or at the prospect of ditching her just for lack of sex. So there's your choices; w*nk, wince or walk.
You don't /have/ to be pleasing her, either - I presume unless she's got some weird hold on you - so asking me how I'd feel about /having/ to please my guy with no reciprocation isn't really the point. And of course it wouldn't be nice to have cramps but clearly I'd go and do what I needed to do to prevent them, if it meant keeping my wonderful man.
I'm not saying you should get used to the pain and discomfort, I'm saying you should get used to the idea of sorting yourself out - which doesn't seem all that much to ask if you are keen enough on her. You're 'not comfortable with DIY' but you're also clearly not comfortable the way things are now, or at the prospect of ditching her just for lack of sex. So there's your choices; w*nk, wince or walk.
You don't /have/ to be pleasing her, either - I presume unless she's got some weird hold on you - so asking me how I'd feel about /having/ to please my guy with no reciprocation isn't really the point. And of course it wouldn't be nice to have cramps but clearly I'd go and do what I needed to do to prevent them, if it meant keeping my wonderful man.
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Why can't a person "yoke" with a non believer? isn't it said that god made man with a free mind? and then all of a sudden "you got a free mind, but you can't do this, this and this. Because if you do I'm going to have you tortured for all eternity... but not if you say you're sorry"
what the heck is that all about.
The mind of a christian is meant to be filled with the holy spirit and guided as such. This notion of free will isn't really the way people suggest it! The idea of being 'yoked' with an unbeliever has been mentioned already. Her religion will be wanting to take her down one road while you will be wanting to go another. I think that in itself is a recipe for disaster.
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I can and do mid week when she is not there, that's not the problem, it's when she is there it's awkward and well to put it frankly ****. It's not something I've ever had to put up with before but that is how it goes. I don't feel comfortable doing it when she is there. It's degrading.
I had a relationship similar to this (not as good but) and let it go because the girl was too far away. I'm not so willing to let go of this because I regretted not making the effort before. So I am moving home now to a more convenient location for us to see each other (she's a teacher and can't really re-locate so easily). There's a lot of things I am doing to compromise which bare no concern to me compared to not being with her, but none of them involve me writhing in pain or being emotionally drained.
Its not everything, but granted, _can_ be important to some people. Its understandable that you dont share the same views, but if you're frustrated and shes quite willing to wait, then as a lot of people are saying, maybe you're not as compatible as you thought?
That's what has got me nervous and the whole point of me posting this thread. What if I wait the 4 or 5 years and it doesn't change. I can't get those years back.
I really have no gripe with christianity other than that. It doesn't affect me in any other area. but this is something real and physical so I'm concerned.
This my new sig.