Stocking Filler Ideas !!!

[.walls]

Only if he's not doing his job properly.

To quote a friend from my past (or at least paraphrase it - it was a long time ago!)

"vibrators are great. you work away at them whilst watching the football, finish off your beer and jump on top and suddenly YOU'RE THE MAN!"

heh.. not that I actually subscribe to this theory, but it was funny as hell at the time!

Also, OP didn't state what sort of relationship he had with the "more mature woman", it could easily be his mother for all we know - which would have made the suggestion even more ridiculous than it already was

 

[G|mp]

Naomi Lenoir

 

[Disco Boy]

A token for one of the following: -

American wax: Hair limited to the bikini area

French waxing: Waxing with a "landing strip"

A full waxing: my choice

My mind is wandering too far now... it's the mature woman thing.

two things:

a "landing strip" is a brazillian
and why would you want a "hollywood" aka full waxing, is that not like having sex with an 11 year old, or is that your thing?

 

[2bit]

two things:

a "landing strip" is a brazillian
and why would you want a "hollywood" aka full waxing, is that not like having sex with an 11 year old, or is that your thing?

I bow to your knowledge.

Full waxing is just clean and tidy - and I'm just a clean and tidy sort of bloke - no bushy beavers for me thanks.

 

[Bennie-Mac]

why would you want a "hollywood" aka full waxing, is that not like having sex with an 11 year old, or is that your thing?

Nothing to get stuck in your teeth.

 

[WantoN]

There's so, so, so much to address in this thread. Awesome replies chaps

lottery tickets and condoms

Fantastic idea. However, she's not a gambler and the second is unnecessary. Cheers though

Joe McElderry: The Climb Single

As much as this pop-machine generic pap infuriates me, great idea and one I'll probably use!

Mini perfume samples?

Fantastic! And free with a little serial-flirting counter to counter!

Terry's chocolate orange is a must.

Genius! She loves them and I always forget to buy them. I'll do this instead of a tangerien (don't ask).

Cut a hole in the bottom of the stocking, place the holey end down your trousers, then you wait..........

You sir, are a legend.

Like this............?
[ IMG ] hot bird [ /IMG ]

I've actually seen her in a couple of risque videos. Very ermmm... risque in fact. Thank you muchly. *cough* do you know her name by the way *cough*.

two things:

a "landing strip" is a brazillian
and why would you want a "hollywood" aka full waxing, is that not like having sex with an 11 year old, or is that your thing?

Frankly when I'm klunge-diving I don't need a mouthful of lady garden, there's plenty of indicators that ensure it's not an 11 year old I'm noshing off, and a facefull of bush is not one I require.

Only if he's not doing his job properly.

Oh please. You can be having the most rampant, filthy nuptuals many times a day. The second I hear "just nipping to the shops hun" I still autonomously reach for the kleenex. Why should a woman be any different?

There's nothing wrong with flying solo, and if your missus is doing it it's just demonstrative of how lucky you are to have a wench of rumpy-pumpy-persuasion.

Merry Christmas by the way

Ant

 

[jp_bl_68]

I've actually seen her in a couple of risque videos. Very ermmm... risque in fact. Thank you muchly. *cough* do you know her name by the way *cough*

Sasha Grey. She's great.

 

[2bit]

...
Oh please. You can be having the most rampant, filthy nuptuals many times a day. The second I hear "just nipping to the shops hun" I still autonomously reach for the kleenex. Why should a woman be any different?

There's nothing wrong with flying solo, and if your missus is doing it it's just demonstrative of how lucky you are to have a wench of rumpy-pumpy-persuasion.
Ant

Fair cop and nice reply!

 

[G|mp]

Sasha Grey. She's great.

Excellent arse on her

 

[WantoN]

Excellent arse on her

Her work can be found on the top shelves of all good corner shops run by an Asian man called Ali who asks no questions and always takes cash.

Ant

 

[jp_bl_68]

Excellent arse on her

Yeah, you can have the arse I'll take everything else. She likes it rough and I thank her for that.

She was also in one of Soderbergh's more recent films The Girlfriend Experience. She wasn't bad considering she'd only really been in porn up to that point.

 

[Darg]

Mature woman?

Maybe organise an appointment to write out a will for her and put the letter in the stocking. Some subtle hints over the next few days about what you want when she's gone wouldn't go amiss either.

 

[2bit]

Mature woman?

Maybe organise an appointment to write out a will for her and put the letter in the stocking. Some subtle hints over the next few days about what you want when she's gone wouldn't go amiss either.

I think your misreading the expression 'mature woman' for 'very elderly and close to death woman'.

Mature in my book is 30+

Actually, some 50+ ladies are ok....

 

[jp_bl_68]

Mature in my book is 30+

I hate that. You go looking for some nice mature/MILF videos and you end up with a bunch of 30 y/os. Matures/milfs need to be at least 40

 

[2bit]

I hate that. You go looking for some nice mature/MILF videos and you end up with a bunch of 30 y/os. Matures/milfs need to be at least 40

Your so right. I was just testing the water with the 30+ comment.

 

[jp_bl_68]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that thinks that. Porn can be very disappointing at times.

 

[WantoN]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that thinks that. Porn can be very disappointing at times.

Gilfs?

 

[jp_bl_68]

Gilfs?

If the situation calls for one, then yes

 

[Deific]

some of those new durex play toys

 

[Deific]

I hate that. You go looking for some nice mature/MILF videos and you end up with a bunch of 30 y/os. Matures/milfs need to be at least 40

I tend to find the opposite, I go looking for MILF videos of 35-45yo and find 60+