Straw poll: mid-twenties- time to settle down?

your 20's are crucial living years and great fun, why on earth would you not want to experience your 20's as a care free single or in a relationship but with no long term commitment? i'm 31 in november and was petrified of turning 30 but now i feel my 30's will be more important than my 20's in terms of life experience and trying to figure out what and when i want to do in life and i personally couldn't do that having to look after anyone but my self.
i have friends who have had children in their 20's and when i call them to go out for a beer, they can't and i wind them up about it and they tell me i'll have it all to come one day. the way i look at it, is that my 'one day' will be when i'm in my 40's, have a nice savings account and have done what i wanted to do when i was in my prime and certainly wont want to go into the pub in my 40's anyway
 
I don't understand how people can carry on being single or in short term relationships right through their 20s and marry in their 30s which IMO is a very late age for marriage. By that time you have lost half of your youth.

I will be turning 27 very soon and would like to get married ASAP!!. I have been dreaming of marriage since I was 25 but the whole job hunting bull**** and financial restraint is making me frustrated and angry :mad:.

I have lived single life for a very long time now involuntarily :(and it has become very lonely and boring. I would like to share my last few years of 20s fully with a nice beautiful and a caring young woman.

May be my thinking reflects my eastern values upbringing where marriage is given heavy importance. IMO I would give marriage priority over single life anyday.
 
WingZero30 said:
I don't understand how people can carry on being single or in short term relationships right through their 20s and marry in their 30s which IMO is a very late age for marriage. By that time you have lost half of your youth.
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very late?! this is the year 2010 not 1910 - you're only here once!
 
TBH I wouldn't mind settling down now!

Don't want kids yet (probably not until ~30), but being in a nice steady relationship with a bird that's not a nutter would be good!

Problem is I seem to only find two types of birds, and they're mutually exclusive: Those that would put up with me, and those that aren't mutters.
 
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cm1179 said:
your 20's are crucial living years and great fun, why on earth would you not want to experience your 20's as a care free single or in a relationship but with no long term commitment? i'm 31 in november and was petrified of turning 30 but now i feel my 30's will be more important than my 20's in terms of life experience and trying to figure out what and when i want to do in life and i personally couldn't do that having to look after anyone but my self.
i have friends who have had children in their 20's and when i call them to go out for a beer, they can't and i wind them up about it and they tell me i'll have it all to come one day. the way i look at it, is that my 'one day' will be when i'm in my 40's, have a nice savings account and have done what i wanted to do when i was in my prime and certainly wont want to go into the pub in my 40's anyway
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Yes but your friends will be long rid of their kids and living on a beach somewhere delerious with joy in their mid 40s when you're still reassuring your child its perfectly normal to wet the bed at 12 years old! :D:p
 
Hmmm desperate to get married?

I've been turned off by being serious young, I spent most of school/college obsessed and "in love" with my then girlfriend, lost a few friends and generally lost social life because I was always with her and we just started melting into one boring 40yr old couple...

I was actually thinking of leaving college at the time just to work fulltime so we could actually "settle" down...

Then one day I woke up and though.. WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!? I was 17 at this point! 17!!! and already serious...

Nah i phoned her up and said it was over.. cut all contact with her, got loads of stick from her family and since then have rebuilt my life.

Now i'm single no commitments about to embark on a career where probably being single is best.

Serious is not on my agenda I got it out the way young enough to learn I should be more relaxed and have a bit more freedom in my life. I still have plenty of time to have kids etc.. all of which I'd like to do one day, but definitely not yet!
 
Bennie-Mac said:
Yes but your friends will be long rid of their kids and living on a beach somewhere delerious with joy in their mid 40s when you're still reassuring your child its perfectly normal to wet the bed at 12 years old! :D:p
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lol they wont have any money!
and mid 40's is nothing, i'd be a far better parent in my mid 40's than i would my mid 20's
 
I've lived with a uni friend for 3year and she has been with her lad for 2 year now..

They have just moved in together!

He had ambitions of doing a masters this year down south....

Now he is working at a shop to pay for rent while she finishes her course.

This is what relationships do to you... RUIN your LIFE
 
SiD the Turtle said:
two groups of people, those who want to settle down and start having kids, and those who want to carry on enjoying life (don't mean to be biased against having kids, couldn't think of a better phrase) and have no plans to be settling down and popping out mini versions of themselves.
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I'd say you've pretty much nailed your colours to the mast right there.
 
jp_bl_68 said:
You've spent it discovering yourself, presumably. Better you do that now than get tied down too soon and have regrets later on.
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You are correct about the discovery bit. I do think that my 20s so far have been a blessing as these years have given me time to reflect on myself. I finished uni when I was 23 and at that time I was young and a naive impressionable man.

4 years later now and at almost 27 I do feel I have learnt a lot about the practical life and seen the ups and downs of the adult life. I have become a little more wiser now and can make more informed judgements with a relaxed mindset.

However now I feel I have learnt a lot as a single young man it's time to get married which will be a new learning experience with a young caring woman which I hope I can get :).
 
Wow I didn't expect this thread to take off so quickly!

I was after general opinions and don't want this to turn into yet another relationship thread, but to elaborate slightly I'm at a turning point of either joining the world of the 'settled' (I'm in a long term - but faltering on the subject of how to raise kids - relationship, have a well paid but not amazing job etc) or making a complete fresh start before I get too 'old'.
 
Do whatever you want, whenever you want! There is no rule book, you don't have to conform to the 'social norms'. Find the right person and want to get married at 20....great. Want to live your 20's single and wild...great.
 
NerveAgent said:
Do whatever you want, whenever you want! There is no rule book, you don't have to conform to the 'social norms'. Find the right person and want to get married at 20....great. Want to live your 20's single and wild...great.
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i think there is a bit of a rule though and it's only have children if you believe you can financially and actively give them the upbringing a child deserves
 
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