Your best drunk achievement / story to date!

My best drunk achievement was managing to bed a girl I fancied who was super fit. Soon after I realised I loved her. I'm with her to date 8 years later and have a family with her. (arrrrrrr!) ;)
 
Got drunk in Finland with my girlfriend, her sister and her sister's husband. One of the 6 times I've been drunk in my life. Got back to the hotel, drunk some more. Everyone passes out, I keep on drinking. Girlfriend wakes up at 4am to find me participating on a local Finnish radio game show (they spoke English to accommodate me), whilst lying with my suit in the bath, clutching the phone. To this day I don't remember it. Girlfriend says there was tons of laughter on the phone when 'The Englishman's wife found him'. Also wished me a happy stay in Finland. Nice people to accommodate a drunk :p

Then there was the time I passed out on the field of my local primary school, but that's another story.
 
jaybee said:
My best drunk achievement was managing to bed a girl I fancied who was super fit. Soon after I realised I loved her. I'm with her to date 8 years later and have a family with her. (arrrrrrr!) ;)
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'So mummy and daddy - tell us when you first found out you were in love...'
 
I once violently attacked a lamp post. I noticed that when you nudged it, the light flickered off and on again. Because I was mashed, I thought this was the most hilarious thing in the world, so I nudged it harder and harder until I ended up punching and kicking it as hard as I could.

Ever after, that lamp post has been leaning over at quite an angle.
 
jaybee said:
My best drunk achievement was managing to bed a girl I fancied who was super fit. Soon after I realised I loved her. I'm with her to date 8 years later and have a family with her. (arrrrrrr!) ;)
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I met my lady under similar conditions, but she was having none of it when invited her back to my place to view my gold fishes. :(
 
I've had a few times where I've had to be picked up because I've been lost, here are the best 3:

Once I went to a house party and had taken a taxi so had no idea where it was so I rang my Dad to pick me up (at 5am) so he did. It was January and I was only wearing a shirt. When he came down I was standing next to the road sign I told him I'd wait at and I proceeded to tell him, "I'm glad you came, I was about to dismantle this road sign and sell it for scrap metal so I could buy a jumper because I'm cold and some food because I'm hungry." He just laughed and said get in.

Another time I worked out I was at the airport so I got a mate to pick me up. When he came he found me happily smoking with an old man who I'd scrounged a cigarette off in exchange for helping him with his bags into the check in.

The next time I had gone to another random house party and knew that the next day I had to go shopping so I half sobered up wandering round Lidl (at 8am) with a trolley full of chicken meatballs and corn flakes, basically the cheapest things I could find. The Lidl staff thought I was hilarious and one even drove me and my ridiculous shopping home!

Needless to say I don't drink vodka anymore.
 
It's not my story sadly, this happened to my brother in law, but it's still a great series of events.

He goes out on the ****, as you do, and has one too many, again as you do. Around 11pm my sister loses sight of him and he's too wasted to answer his phone, all we get in terms of communication are some illegible text messages at around 3am. No one we know sees or speaks to him after around 1am.

At 10am my sister receives a phonecall from her soon-to-be husband, he sounds terrified. He's woken up in someone's room and he doesn't have a clue where he is. According to him he's 'trapped' in a large box of some sort and is unable to climb out, he's incredibly worried about what might have been done to him and what is going to happen to him. My sister reassures him and desperately tries to get clues as to where he could be, however the conversation is cut short as 'he can hear voices' so he hastily hangs up the phone in panic.

Skip forward two or three hours, we get a phonecall from one of his flatmates who very kindly explains that my brother in law had in fact fallen behind the sofa in a drunken stupor the night before. He had been hiding, for several hours, from his own flatmates behind his own sofa, trapped but too afraid to gain the attention of the 'abductors' he thought them to be.
 
EdGey said:
I once got totally mashed with 3 mates and managed to drive all the way home without even hitting a curb. :)
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I'm sure people who have lost loved ones thanks to idiotic drunk drivers like yourself will be most delighted by this post :rolleyes:
 
I was camping down Bodinick, near Fowey in Cornwall.. it was about 2am and I was ****** smashed on HSD.. Earlier on in the day, I put a crab net down with some rotting mackeral and some other things.. hoping to get prawns, amongst other things.. I thought it was good to go down at this time. I had to walk down a bolevard, about 2 miles long, pitch black with no lights. I had a crappy LED torch that I got from a petrol station.

Got to the harbour, and walked out onto the pontoon... and I forgot where I dropped it in! I was cussing and blinding and a guy got out of his boat with a spade and starting abuse at me.. I was so confused.. so I dashed back.. tripping over a rope.. I smashed my face in on the sandpapered non-slip flooring.. I felt like a right fool. Not amazing but funny for my Dad and Uncle at the time.

Edit: Streehtah.. I actually spat my beer everywhere.. excellent. Reminds me of my uncle
 
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I once drank far too much and passed out in a friends brothers house bathroom then woke up the next day at home in bed. Still to this day i have no idea how i got home considering it would have been a good hours walk if sober.
 
Streeteh said:
It's not my story sadly, this happened to my brother in law, but it's still a great series of events.

He goes out on the ****, as you do, and has one too many, again as you do. Around 11pm my sister loses sight of him and he's too wasted to answer his phone, all we get in terms of communication are some illegible text messages at around 3am. No one we know sees or speaks to him after around 1am.

At 10am my sister receives a phonecall from her soon-to-be husband, he sounds terrified. He's woken up in someone's room and he doesn't have a clue where he is. According to him he's 'trapped' in a large box of some sort and is unable to climb out, he's incredibly worried about what might have been done to him and what is going to happen to him. My sister reassures him and desperately tries to get clues as to where he could be, however the conversation is cut short as 'he can hear voices' so he hastily hangs up the phone in panic.

Skip forward two or three hours, we get a phonecall from one of his flatmates who very kindly explains that my brother in law had in fact fallen behind the sofa in a drunken stupor the night before. He had been hiding, for several hours, from his own flatmates behind his own sofa, trapped but too afraid to gain the attention of the 'abductors' he thought them to be.
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Brilliant:)
 
I keep checking this thread to see if 'Ahleckz' has posted, at the end of May this year I seen a classic drunken achievement done by him.
 
So, on holiday in Whitby, I meet this charming, young (and extraordinarily busty) Irish lass and, in the course of events, end up going back to her room. As you do. I'll skip forward to about three in the morning and save you the details ;) I wake up, still rather drunk and needing to deposit one of the many pints I'd earlier consumed. So I get out of bed to visit the facilities.

At this point, however, I make a strategic error. Rather than walking the two feet from the bed to the en-suite, I leave by the other door. Into the B&B and walk up the stairs. At about this point I wake up a little and realise that I've just walked out of her room into a strange B&B. I have no idea where the toilet is. I can't remember which room I just came out of. Oh, and I'm completely naked.

So, I wander around the B&B a bit 'til I find a toilet and then come out, feeling much relieved. And stand on the landing on the stairs. At this point a few more things occur to me. I can't remember where I'm actually supposed to be staying. I can't remember what it's called. And if, by some miracle, I can find my B&B wandering around Whitby naked at 3 O'Clock in the morning, I wouldn't be able to get in because my keys are in my trousers. Which are in her room. Which I don't know where is.

At this point another thing dawns on me. I'm currently standing in front of a large window that overlooks the crescent. With nothing on.

Oops.
 
Got really drunk at a campout, then at 6am deciding to walk the 20 miles back to my house still ****ed as a fart. Then went to Doncaster. I felt like an old man when I got in at 12am.
 
I caught a pint glass that some silly ****** lobbed at a mate of mine (literally just plucked it out of the air about 30cm from his face) when we were in a Coventry pub and comfortably drunk, i.e. not horizontal, just fifteen pints in three hours drunk. Still not sure how I managed it as I'm not good at catching at all when I'm sober!

God I'm glad I don't live in Coventry any more....
 
At the end of a night out with a few friends we leave the pub very drunk and for some reason i'm giving a mate a piggyback. I then proceed to fall over, the last thing i remember is a jolt of pain.

Later i wake up in hospital laying on a bed in A&E. I see two doctors opposite me looking at an x-ray of someones leg that is clearly broken. I remember thinking "some poor sod has broken their leg". I then look down and see my leg strapped up with a HUGE lump in it and think "ahh **** it's me!". :)
 
Oh good god where do I start...

A few years ago I pulled a young filly and we went back to hers. I served my country, gave myself a mental "hurrah" and we both fell asleep. In the morning I kind of rouse still very drunk and not with it. The trouble now of course is that the Fat Frogs from the night before have churned away and I need to fart, badly. I look over to see the young lady is still fast asleep so I hatch a plan to quietly pull the covers aside and let off a long silent one. The first part of the plan went without a hitch. The second part however, didn't materialise. It was loud and long, a proper manly effort but just at the wrong time and wrong place. Think of it like a really long winded (haw haw) duck call. It was so loud the girl suddenly jumps up, clearly scared and panicky due to the loud noise that has just awoken her.

Then the smell hit her. I have never felt such evil eyes on the back of my head.
 
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