A Police Officer "in distress"!!

markus782 said:
okay, I'll get me coat and try another posting in six months time! :(
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It was a tounge-in-cheek comment :p

Don't take it to heart - the crowd here are quick to criticise. Just part of the culture!

Have a read of the ryan's steakhouse story I posted above though - that one is an absolute classic :D
 
Oxide™ said:
why didn't he just excuse himself from the briefing for a crap instead of letting it get to crisis point :confused:

that's just stupid
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I should say that the post was part of an original thread (private ex-police board) which was started by a former copper telling the most amazing story of how some years back, a fresh-out-of-training-school probationer police officer who was on attachment to his first nick, was sent to sit and observe proceedings in the magistrates court and they forgot about him and left him there all morning.

Too embarrassed to interrupt and ask if he could leave, he ended up hosing in his new uniform trousers as he sat there!!

That's stupidity!!

(don't worry, I won't post it!)
 
rG-tom said:
My dad used to be a special constable, from Stretford, and looked after home games....
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Great!

But I think you'll find that the Police force don't tend to put officers in the area where they are from, as Salford is pretty damn close to Old Trafford I would find it strange that they are placing officers in that situation.
 
G|mp said:
Great!

But I think you'll find that the Police force don't tend to put officers in the area where they are from, as Salford is pretty damn close to Old Trafford I would find it strange that they are placing officers in that situation.
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My understanding is that football duty is often done on a volunteer-first-basis, so maybe it's up to the individual to decide if he/she feels comfortable so close to home?
 
Duff-Man said:
Interesting story. You write it well, but there just isn't enough fecal drama for my liking.

It did remind me of the (vastly superior) "Ryan's steakhouse incident" story though. I'll post it here. It's long, but well worth a read:

...naughty words have been altered to protect the innocence of our delicate OcUK members :p
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Haha, I'm glad I spent the time to read that, thanks.
 
I have too many of these stories to tell unfortunatly because i suffer from ulcerative colitis. My worse time was my mid-twenties. But fortunatly my health is much better now and hopefully those days are behind me now
 
JCBeastie said:
My local Police can beat that!

http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/news/Policeman-scary-Friday-13th/article-2628404-detail/article.html

So copper goes to have a word with this chap, who starts to get violent, copper pulls the pepper spray and manages to somehow hit himself in the face with it. Then he takes a punch to the jaw that dislocates it. Another guy joins in the fight and boots his jaw back, when a fellow officer turns up, pulls his taser and hits his collegue!

What a day lol.
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How much mileage will his fellow officers get out of that one in the coming months?

:D
 
I found the story hard to follow for some reason. Perhaps as I'm a little tired, but I don't really get it. A guy had the runs, couldn't get to the loo on time.

Anyway, welcome to the forums OP, thanks for at least posting something and not just being a lurker!
 
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Perhaps a ban for leaving me thoroughly underwhelmed ? ;)

If you want a police story, try these two.

About 5 years ago, a constable came in for a 2-10 shift and it was his turn to make the beverages for the shift briefing only this time their was a guest, namely the new chaplain for the sub division who was doing the rounds.

While asking who wanted coffee etc, the officertruned to the new chaplain and said.

' I've always wanted to say this ...... more tea vicar ? '

If looks could kill, the vicar would have struck the cop down there and then. He was not amused not a jot. One lad on the shift had to fake a radio call to get out as he was gasping for air laughing.

Secondly, a few years back, two Pcs' were on duty on a nightshift when one of them suddenly remembered that he needed to speak to a local lad for a roadrelated offence and turned to his colleague to say he wouldn't be a minute while he put a note through the door for the lad to get in contact.

The Pc got out of the car and couldn't put a note through the front door as the letterbox was nailed shut.

He then went around the back and tried the rear gate which opened, only for two pet rabbits to scamper off out and away.

The two cops triedd for half an hour to round them up. Hi-viz jackets wre used to try and throw over them, cardboard boxes were also tried to trap them but the little bunnies wren't having any of it and the two cops admitted defeat and scampered off.

About a week later, the officer who wanted to speak to the lad went back and tried the rear gate during the day. Couldn't open it. Jammed.

He then climbed over to see the two rabbits back in and a sigh of relief was in order.

He then knocked on the door to be greeted by the lad he wanted who was wanted and he was arrested without incident and both cop and suspect had to climb the gate to get out.

While in the back of the car on the way to custody, the cop asked the lad.

' What's the crack with the gate. i couldn't get in. '

' I had to nail it shut ' he said .... ' some ******* let me rabbits oot last week. '

Both stories are 100% true. How do I know this ?

Because I was the one who naffed off the vicar and also let two rabbits escape inadvertantly.

Welcome to OcUK. :)
 
Von Smallhausen said:
Perhaps a ban for leaving me thoroughly underwhelmed ? ;)

If you want a police story, try these two.

About 5 years ago, a constable came in for a 2-10 shift and it was his turn to make the beverages for the shift briefing only this time their was a guest, namely the new chaplain for the sub division who was doing the rounds.

While asking who wanted coffee etc, the officertruned to the new chaplain and said.

' I've always wanted to say this ...... more tea vicar ? '

If looks could kill, the vicar would have struck the cop down there and then. He was not amused not a jot. One lad on the shift had to fake a radio call to get out as he was gasping for air laughing.

Secondly, a few years back, two Pcs' were on duty on a nightshift when one of them suddenly remembered that he needed to speak to a local lad for a roadrelated offence and turned to his colleague to say he wouldn't be a minute while he put a note through the door for the lad to get in contact.

The Pc got out of the car and couldn't put a note through the front door as the letterbox was nailed shut.

He then went around the back and tried the rear gate which opened, only for two pet rabbits to scamper off out and away.

The two cops triedd for half an hour to round them up. Hi-viz jackets wre used to try and throw over them, cardboard boxes were also tried to trap them but the little bunnies wren't having any of it and the two cops admitted defeat and scampered off.

About a week later, the officer who wanted to speak to the lad went back and tried the rear gate during the day. Couldn't open it. Jammed.

He then climbed over to see the two rabbits back in and a sigh of relief was in order.

He then knocked on the door to be greeted by the lad he wanted who was wanted and he was arrested without incident and both cop and suspect had to climb the gate to get out.

While in the back of the car on the way to custody, the cop asked the lad.

' What's the crack with the gate. i couldn't get in. '

' I had to nail it shut ' he said .... ' some ******* let me rabbits oot last week. '

Both stories are 100% true. How do I know this ?

Because I was the one who naffed off the vicar and also let two rabbits escape inadvertantly.

Welcome to OcUK. :)
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Apologies for leaving you so underwhelmed, although that seems to be the general feeling so I accept it.

Very amusing, bet you could pen a few like that!!

The funniest other cop-related one I have heard in recent time was about a boot inspection the day after pristine white socks had turned a pale shade of pink after a mixed wash (alright, it probably sounds another tedious tale but trust me, it was funny!).

I'm surprised you found the newbie at the mags court one underwhelming too, though!
 
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