Police and the Advice

RaohNS

RaohNS

RaohNS

Soldato
Joined
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Hi guys,

Have a major problem. Basically i split with my wife in April (boo-hoo).

Things have been good(ish) until 23rd Sept (her birthday) when i went round in the morning and saw another guy coming down the stairs and i've logical proof he stopped, i.e.
- Having breakfast there
- Hair gel and toothbrush in the bathroom
- him saying to me he has to go work (wearing jeans, footy shirt and trainers)
- my wife coming down saying shes taking him home (contradicting above)
- him saying he was leaving to be at work for 9 and yet had a 20min walk to the correct bus stop
- no footprints at the back door when he came in
- him saying he wiped them up
and more and more and more

...in a house i pay the mortgage for and my wife has been living rent free in for the past 4/5months. Basically told him get out and not set foot in the house.

Anyway, went round that night following a threat from my wife and snapped a toothbrush which was his. During this confrontation my wife grabbed my phone off me so i grabbed her arm to get it back. Queue me getting arrested later that even on assault charges (which have been NFA'd and i of course denied and said i acted reasonably to retrieve my property, the Police on hearing the full story were "seemingly" a little sympathetic).

Advised by the Police to give it a day or two before contacting to see my daughter. Now today my wife has called and said:

"With whats gone on i don't think i can trust you and i've been advised by the Police to not let you see her [my daughter] until we've gone to court"

Now what i want to know is can the Police even make this remark as quite frankly its made my blood boil and i've basically told my wife i'll be having words with the officer that said that because they are not there to make such comments, they are acting in my opinion well beyond their qualified level and are way over the line on that comment. They are not the judge jury and executioner which is effectively what this copper has said/done.

Can they make a comment like that?

Any help massively appreciated and of course i will be going to see a solicitor asap regarding the situation.

Thanks Guys
 
police wont of said that and if they did then they shouldnt have. sounds like shes making excuses to me...


seek legal advice ASAP

she has no right to stop you seeing your child. innocent until proven guilty and all that. if the police where concerned you would probably already of met the 'lovely' people from social services
 
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Sounds like more lies from someone who is already lying to you.

Why are you paying her rent? Stop that, and when she has to live on the street, the child will be taken from her and given to you?
 
Evict her and say that she has no where suitable for your daughter. If she wants to play nasty so can you.

Of course don't do this as it will make stuff much worse.
 
Hi Guys,

Firstly many many thanks for all your supporting comments (much needed after the week i've had)

Police will not say that

She is trying it on.
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As a bit of an update i have had information from a police officer that they won't say that and if they have its not acceptable. I did honestly question my ex on it and said is that what they told you and they did (see bold comment) to be honest i think she was telling the truth, so i will now be calling to speak to the officer in question and making a formal complaint to Commanding Officer and area Commander.

she has no right to stop you seeing your child. innocent until proven guilty and all that. if the police where concerned you would probably already of met the 'lovely' people from social services she has no right to stop you seeing your child. innocent until proven guilty and all that. if the police where concerned you would probably already of met the 'lovely' people from social services
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Well she seems to think she does. Basically she said she can't trust me to look after my daughter. I've got a few dates to hand where i went over and stopped the night whilst she went out all night and i've been warned im just a glorfied babysitter. The Police upon arresting me (no cuffs thank god cause i'd have refused) said that your wife has requested Social Services not be involved are you in agreement etc.

Sounds like more lies from someone who is already lying to you.

Why are you paying her rent? Stop that, and when she has to live on the street, the child will be taken from her and given to you?
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as above she isn't lying and i could tell. I'm paying mortgage on the property so my daughter and up until 23rd my wife had somewhere to stop that wouldn't have an impact on my daughter. My wife is moving out to an area quite a bit away from me on 1st October (and i've been informed by sources not 5mins from this guy who came down the stairs place of work and home!) I don't want to risk my daughter she is everything to me hence me continuing to pay a loan on a car for the last 4/5months which i am taking her to a small claims court to ASAP to get the loan halved. Honestly given that i work, am male the amount of Working Tax i'd get would not allow me enough to put her into Nursery and if im 100% she is better off with her mum (part time work etc)

Wait till they go out and change all the locks
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Can't do this as it would leave me liable for legal action as the property is jointly owned (despite me agreeing in May to give both sets of keys to her), thus she currently has both sets of keys, legally i'll have to have one set on 1st October.

Evict her and say that she has no where suitable for your daughter. If she wants to play nasty so can you.
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As stated cant risk that happening to my little girl. cant evict her as its a joint property

Why would you be going to courd if you have been NFA'd?
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Well this is a double edged sword, i'd be taking her court for costs while the house is joint etc. i.e. Loan (joint), Mortgage (joint) and of course all that is accreditted to the mortgage or loan i.e. Life Insurance. The other impact of court in the long run is that this "assault" if you could call it that (she even rubbed her arm before calling saying and i've got the marks to prove it!) would have an impact on the access i may/may not get with my daughter. Currently this is Friday evenings, a day at the weekend and usually a Monday evening.

Its your property and you have a right to enter your property. If she and your daughter happen to be there its not your fault.
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I know but part of me want to avoid as much as possible confrontation regarding issues that could have an impact on my daughter. Either way i can see this being a costly learning experience.

I'm going to see a friend shortly over a pint who is a bit of a legal eagle (Solicitor)

Thanks again guys for the support it is very much appreciated!
 
Cheers Fox, its actually a mortgage in both names, i'm currently living with my Dad and pay for the following for the house

-Mortgage
-Water
-TV Licence
-Life Insurance
-Car Loan

This arrives at circa £600-£650 per month
 
Strife212 said:
Wait till they go out and change all the locks
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Not saying you plan to but, before you go doing anything that would prevent your wife from accessing the matrimonial home you may want to consult proper legal advice.

Even if your wife is NOT on the deeds or mortgage for the house, she MAY have automatic occupancy rights as a "non-entitled partner" (a spouse or civil partner that is not the registered owner or tenant) and there MAY be laws in place which do not allow either the entitled partner (spouse or civil partner that IS the registered owner/tenant) or the un-entitled partner to exclude each other from the property.

As I say, there MIGHT be laws like this. There are in Scotland under the Matriomonial Homes (Family Protection)(Scotland) Act 1981. There MAY be similar in E&W.

Advice - consult a lawyer.


Edit: gah, got taken away while writing this not knowing she was on mortgage as well till you posted... Still, will leave it there for others.
 
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******************UPDATE********************

Have just called local Police and am expecting a call back from the Sargeant there, following this will be following the correct procedures for making a complaint
 
The Police do not have the legal right to prevent you seeing your own children.

The is only the Courts and the Social Services can stop you seeing your children.

I suggest you make a formal complaint against this officer because police are only meant to arrest and charge people they simply cannot, due to there Powers given in the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984 and The Police Powers and do such a thing to this nature.

Seek Legal Advice.

Rustyy.

Source: A* GCSE in Law and Currently Studying A-Level
 
Yeah police can't stop you unless there is a real immediate concern, they can refer it to social services however.

From the wording "i've been advised by the Police to not let you see her" she was probably having a rant and the officer was just sympathising/humoring her to calm her down and shes blowing his comments out of proportion.
 
Well to be honest my first thought is you are being a a bit of an asshat telling your ex missus who she is allowed to see, your house or not.

and lol at "refusing to wear handcuffs"
If they wanted you to be wearing them you would be... end of.

As for the rest of the post, well if it boils your **** that much, stop paying the bills if you are not living there.
Or at least pay the mortgage and leave them to pay utilities. That sounds a damn sight fairer.

If you weren't being such an angry asshat about it all, none of this would have happened now would it!
 
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Looks to me like the whole issue has come about from you being angry about her seeing somebody? Surely that was bound to happen if you split from your wife. I think you need to look at a divorce asap if you haven't already, as your anger suggests to me that you are in denial, though I can see why you would also be angry at somebody for staying in the house you largely pay for who isn't contributing to it. However, that's all part and parcel of a failed relationship involving children, you both move on, but remain attached by the child.
 
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