Carp joke time
- Thread starter FatBoyObese
- Start date
Associate
- Joined
- 6 Feb 2008
- Posts
- 1,750
I'm surprised you ran with that and not:
What do you fall a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Or were you just setting me up you silly you.
Soldato
Mick turns to Paddy and asks "Paddy, why do you keep beating your wife?"
"Well Mick" Paddy replies, "I put it down to the height, weight & reach advantage, plus the superior footwork."
"Well Mick" Paddy replies, "I put it down to the height, weight & reach advantage, plus the superior footwork."
Man of Honour
Why are fish smarter than mice?
Because they live in schools.
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike.
Because they live in schools.
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike.
Associate
- Joined
- 23 Feb 2008
- Posts
- 970
One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, Anything you want.. After
all, you're the guv" .
But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch." This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the
other".
"20 DECKS!", screams Noah, "Well, OK Big Man whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well, sort of right, this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.
"Fish?", queries Noah?
"Yep, fish, well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
"Check".
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"Check".
"And you want it full of Carp?".
"Check".
"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.
"Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, Anything you want.. After
all, you're the guv" .
But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch." This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the
other".
"20 DECKS!", screams Noah, "Well, OK Big Man whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well, sort of right, this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.
"Fish?", queries Noah?
"Yep, fish, well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
"Check".
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"Check".
"And you want it full of Carp?".
"Check".
"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.
"Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"
Now I get it! My manager told the joke I posted but when he continued on to tell the one you just posted I just couldn't get it
Soldato
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shih tzu.
Last edited:
Soldato
How can it be a four star zoo with only one dog in it?
You know what I hate?
People that answer their own questions.
You know what I hate?
People that answer their own questions.
Caporegime
I think you mean shih tzu.
Caporegime
I had a joke about a suicide cult but the punchline was too long.
Soldato
My computer uses U.S. English.
I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up.
I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up.
Associate
- Joined
- 23 Nov 2007
- Posts
- 176
Soldato
10/10!
For the thread title.
For the thread title.
Soldato
A Canadian man walks into a bar and places an item of footwear on the bar stool next to him.
Barman says "Whats this, a boot?"
Barman says "Whats this, a boot?"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."