Thursday Joke (Possible Recovery)

[ruffneck]

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.

I said "You're pulling my leg"



coat?

 

[Bennie-Mac]

Coat.

 

[Jono8]

raised a smile actually

 

[Mason-]

A bloke rings work up & says to his boss "I can't come in today I'm sick"

His boss says "how sick are you?"

He replies "Well I'm in bed with my disabled sister!"

 

[platypus]

Much like the UK, the recovery is still in doubt.

 

[SMN]

A bloke rings work up & says to his boss "I can't come in today I'm sick"

His boss says "how sick are you?"

He replies "Well I'm in bed with my disabled sister!"

I LOL'd. We're all going to hell.

 

[The Deuce]

got a chuckle

 

[Cosimo]

Here take the coat and wait by the door.

 

[Edrof]

A bloke rings work up & says to his boss "I can't come in today I'm sick"

His boss says "how sick are you?"

He replies "Well I'm in bed with my disabled sister!"

Internet high-five!

 

[Greebo]

I went to Bangkok for a testicle operation. The nurse cupped my balls and massaged them and she said "don't worry, it's normal to get an erection when I'm doing this". I said "I haven't got an erection" she replied "I have"

Coat?

 

[Greebo]

My lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday.

It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch"

 

[Mason-]

I went to Bangkok for a testicle operation. The nurse cupped my balls and massaged them and she said "don't worry, it's normal to get an erection when I'm doing this". I said "I haven't got an erection" she replied "I have"

Coat?

That was one of them jokes where I acknowledge the humour but didn't laugh.


For your second joke, definitely get a coat.

 

[Greebo]

My wife's sister sat on my glasses and broke them earlier. I was ****ed off. Though to be fair, it was my fault for leaving them on.

 

[Paul11]

I went to Bangkok for a testicle operation. The nurse cupped my balls and massaged them and she said "don't worry, it's normal to get an erection when I'm doing this". I said "I haven't got an erection" she replied "I have"

Coat?

really laughed at this .....

 

[Greebo]

I went to the doctors today, complaining of strange voices coming from my trousers. The Doctor said "Ignore them, they're talking ********"

 

[SourChipmunk]

A tax collector walks into the church and asks the minister, "We're doing an audit on Mr. Peterson. Is it true he donated £10,000 to the church"?

The minister replies, "He will."

 

[Skully]

Stolen from Sickepedia :

I texted my boss, 'What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?'

He answered, 'I don't know.'

I replied, 'I'm not coming in this morning.'

 

[support_bae]

My friend asked me today if I had ever looked at my wife's face during sex, to which I replied yes.
He then asked me how did she look and I answered she looked angry.
He asked why she looked angry and I said because she was behind a window.

 

[gillywibble]

Coat.

 

[flibbage0]

OP, not a bad joke, I smiled.