What I do after work:
Arrive home.
Open front door, get molested by dog.
Observe iPhone as to what the several dozen "bongs" were (I receive work e-mails to my phone).
Quickly glance at new email messages by subject and 1st line of content. Kick dog from around my feet and order her to the sofa, or somewhere.
Quickly categorize, shove in a task or two (calendar linked with my outlook/exchance calender) to remind myself in the morning; curse my colleagues for saving the "cakes available in the staff room cuz its my birthday" emails until after I've left the office, etc.
Forget about work. Make fuss of dog (give dog iPhone to play with).
Head to kitchen/scotch cabinet (depends on day of week and how hard/annoying that day was).
Pour myself a large one (ribena, water, diet coke, Glenmorangie, whatever).
Pour dog a large one (last night's left overs - I wan't REALLY gonna eat chilli concarne 2 days after I made it... was i?).
Crash on sofa.
Get molested by dog. I claim any white stains are toothpaste and strictly not anything else.
Fick on TV. Power up netbook.
Talk to wife/dog (depends on talking mood of both).
Consider what's on TV (virgin media cable, often SOMETHING to vegetate to).
Consider making way to "the den" for some gaming (either console or PC).
Arrange food (wife, food, make, now.). Or more accurately, ask wife what she wants to eat, then make whatever meal I dreamt of that day anyway.
Fast forward a few hours...
Order dog outside for toilet time.
Curse dog for toileting in neighbours garden verbally (so wife can hear) but secretly praise dog for crapping over that arrogant ****'s rose bushes (so wife can't hear).
Wife hears my doggie praise and surmises my verbal rebuke was false. I get it in the ear.
Do my own ablutions - no problems going in sink from the door threshold if wifey is crimpign one off. Well, I don't have an issue with it!
Go to bed.
Kick dog off of bed, order into basket.
Snore.
Get kicked out of bed myself by wife.
Adopt sofa as new home.
Sleep.
Wake up as call-o-nature calls at approx 5.30 every morning (useful feature, this!).
Make toast/tea for wife.
Enter martial bedroom.
Find wife and dog both asleep on bed.
Kick wife out of bed with her cup of tea.
Make fuss of dog and feed dog toast.
Order dog to do toilet in garden, paying attention to not let him in to next doors garden (neighbour now awake, de-icing his car).
Get ready, start to de-ice car.
Kick dog out of car - no dogs at work any more after "that" incident".
kiss wife good bye.
Drive to work.
Rinse and ****ing repeat 6 days a week. GAH!.