What would you do if you found a thief in your house?

Yosiah · 6 Apr 2011 at 02:05

Knife him in the kidneys, then, as he is bleeding to death in my house, wipe the handle of the blade on my tshirt and grasp his hand so that he's wielding it. Then I would mimic a struggle and scratch his face a bit bang into the walls and paintings, then throw him on the floor. I would laugh at him for about 5 minutes until he is just about dead, drop my pants and dangle my ball sack on his nose.

Then I would watch Adele - Someone Like You at the Brit Awards on youtube and start crying, and then call the police saying there was a struggle in the dark with a burglar and I think with the struggle the blade went in him. I would then sit on the couch with my hands on my temples and rock, and wait for the fuzz.

Works every time.

EdGey · 6 Apr 2011 at 02:30

I keep a keyboard under my bed. But seriously, I would not hesitate to attack a burglar in my house.

sunnysingh · 6 Apr 2011 at 02:50

It's so difficult to know what you would do when a situation like that arises. But I would use force to defend my family even if I had to use a knife.

[FnG]magnolia · 6 Apr 2011 at 02:53

Anewbe4u · 6 Apr 2011 at 03:09

I have 3 kids in the house so depending on where they were I'd probably react differently.

I have a bat to hand, downstairs, I'd tell them to leave, if they were in the girls rooms I'd probably hit them till they didn't get up.

In reality, they'd disarm me and use the bat on me.

analog · 6 Apr 2011 at 03:56

Like you I don't know what I would do in the situation but I'm inclined to agree with this comment from another forum.

If you break the law, you should lose all your rights while you do it.

Shot during a burglary? Bad luck!
Killed when trespassing? Tough

Simple. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

(Yes I do see how poorly this would work for lesser crimes)

Angilion · 6 Apr 2011 at 04:42

meghatronic said:
He said, "please dont hit me, mate" and then he hit him WITH A GOLF CLUB.

That's blatantly not legal. But, meh, the 'chav' shouldn't've been there.

I have various stuff around the house I could 'just about' grab hold of in a 'struggle' as he 'came right for me'.

I'm not sure that it is "blatantly not legal". An intruder in your home is considered a threat even if they are not threatening you in any other way.

Straight from the horse's mouth:

http://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/prosecution/householders.html

Anyone can use reasonable force to protect themselves or others, or to carry out an arrest or to prevent crime. You are not expected to make fine judgements over the level of force you use in the heat of the moment. So long as you only do what you honestly and instinctively believe is necessary in the heat of the moment, that would be the strongest evidence of you acting lawfully and in selfdefence. This is still the case if you use something to hand as a weapon.

No, not if you are in your own home and in fear for yourself or others. In those circumstances the law does not require you to wait to be attacked before using defensive force yourself.

I'd say that it isn't clear-cut. I'd also say that a jury would be very unlikely to convict if it did get to a trial. It's not like he battered the intruder in the head. Even then, a jury still might not convict. Remember Munir Hussain? He hunted someone down and tried very hard to beat them to death, causing brain damage. It was pure revenge, not even vaguely close to defence at all let alone reasonable force in defence. He still got off with a suspended sentence.

Castiel · 6 Apr 2011 at 07:46

The thief was lucky in my opinion, and the Police were a little harsh to threaten the homeowner with arrest.

If he had been in my house, he would have gotten more than just a sore knee.

steveo · 6 Apr 2011 at 07:51

would go postal on there arse, we had someone try and break in to a mates shed awhile ago and we chased them for a mile before we lost him

Castiel · 6 Apr 2011 at 07:51

Yosiah said:
Knife him in the kidneys, then, as he is bleeding to death in my house, wipe the handle of the blade on my tshirt and grasp his hand so that he's wielding it. Then I would mimic a struggle and scratch his face a bit bang into the walls and paintings, then throw him on the floor. I would laugh at him for about 5 minutes until he is just about dead, drop my pants and dangle my ball sack on his nose.

Then I would watch Adele - Someone Like You at the Brit Awards on youtube and start crying, and then call the police saying there was a struggle in the dark with a burglar and I think with the struggle the blade went in him. I would then sit on the couch with my hands on my temples and rock, and wait for the fuzz.

Works every time.

A knife into the back of the neck, just below the skull, in and turn, seperates the head from the spine, very little blood to clean up and very quick.

arknor · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:00

i got arrested for burglary on someones garage when i was 15

i was just walking down the road and some bloke rubgy tackled me and took me back to his house! tried to say i just attempted to rob his garage which was utter BS!
his wife kept saying to let me go but he held me down and phoned the police.

the ****** even went to court and claimed he watched me out his window....

***** lieing scumbag, i should go back to the house 15years later and tell that peice of **** he wrecked my life and turned me into a drugy (he didnt but still)

steveo · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:02

Yosiah said:
Knife him in the kidneys, then, as he is bleeding to death in my house, wipe the handle of the blade on my tshirt and grasp his hand so that he's wielding it. Then I would mimic a struggle and scratch his face a bit bang into the walls and paintings, then throw him on the floor. I would laugh at him for about 5 minutes until he is just about dead, drop my pants and dangle my ball sack on his nose.

Then I would watch Adele - Someone Like You at the Brit Awards on youtube and start crying, and then call the police saying there was a struggle in the dark with a burglar and I think with the struggle the blade went in him. I would then sit on the couch with my hands on my temples and rock, and wait for the fuzz.

Works every time.

i proper LOL at that then it sunk in ........... your bloody scarey :eek:

SexyGreyFox · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:08

G|mp said:
Disable him at first, then gaffa tape his feet and hands and drag him into the cellar, then I would set about torturing him by cutting him deeply but in slow bleeding part of the body, then when he is begging for his life I would start pouring salt all over him. Then I would drag him upstairs and melt him down in the bath using some sort of acid, fish out his teeth and other various slow to decompose pieces of him and grind them down into a powder which I would then scatter in Cannock Chase.

Other than that I've not really thought about it.

Same but I probably wouldn't drive all the way to Cannock Chase

Cosimo · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:21

I would like to think I would hit him with my cudgel to stop him. Who knows what one would do in the spur of the moment.

lttlejoe · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:33

The thief is as much a victim of our society as you are!

Well, that's what his solicitor and social worker would say if it ever got to court!

ivrytwr3 · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:38

Cybermyk said:
The burglar had a DVD player, he had a golf club. Fair fight tbh.

lol!

edscdk · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:45

99% of thiefs will want to run, so I'd let them run....

if they wanted to fight I'd not want to hurt him or cause him hard until he hurt me, then I would go mental and probably kill him (without meaning to)

J.T · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:52

If I was sure they didn’t have a knife/gun I would detain them using reasonable force until the police arrive.

If this means having to break their legs then so be it!

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:53

lttlejoe said:
Well, that's what his solicitor and social worker would say if it ever got to court!

Someone's got to plead for him

nHook · 6 Apr 2011 at 08:55

I was in that situation when i was 14 years old. I was on my way home late after school. My mum was at her best mates' place. So at that time nobody was supposed to be at home. Door was open and being deaf, I couldn't hear anything. Took my bag out and held in front of me as I entered.

The kitchen was right next to the entrance and the living room was down the hallway around the corner. Started to think I was being silly when someone suddenly turned the corner of the hallway and slammed into me. My first instinct was to push forward and that threw the guy off. I landed on top of him with my heavy bag. Didn't know who the hell he was but he had a red nike bag that was bulging.

There was a bit of struggle and I kept trying to contain his arms while shouting for help. Managed to get some attention and a couple that lived a few doors down went to see what the fuss was. The situation was quickly managed as the man's gf went to call the police and the bf and me kept the robber on the floor.

It all happened very fast and yes, the bag had stolen goodies and apparently not just from the flat. When it comes down to it, situations rarely go how you want but if I was absolutely certain there was a thief, I would try to make sure my loved ones were safe and contact the police asap.

Don't care if a few things are stolen and it's not worth risking a knife stab. There's many knife crimes here so it's very possible that they could be armed.