How old do you think is too old to be living with your parents?

Soldato
Joined
26 May 2009
Posts
5,415
Talking, of course, about the current time, with obscene property prices and the difficulty first time buyers have in getting a decent mortgage. I ask because I'm 25 and have somehow ended up living with my parents again.

I take heart from the fact that it's a situation certainly not of my design. I moved away to Uni right about the time of my 19th birthday, straight after finishing my A-levels at school. I lived away for 4 years and ended up with overdraft and a couple of credit card debts totalling a little more than I'd care to say, though I know many would consider it a trifling amount. When my last year's contract was ending up in Southampton my dad was well on the way to finishing the house he was building in Ireland and both he and my mother were planning to move out there, leaving my sister living alone in the house he'd built in Kent. Since she had just started a nursing course, she couldn't afford to pay any rent or bills (apparently) so she'd arranged with our parents that she'd live there free for the duration of her course, which is now finished. My brother was moving down from Bridgwater, ostensibly because his hours at work had been cut, but really because he'd not planned to spend quite so much when he bought a flat and intended to abandon the mortgage and dodge the debt collectors. Between myself and him, we'd pay to maintain the house - all the utility bills, TV license, phone line etc etc. After a few months, when it became obvious that he had no real intention to pay, he was politely removed.

This was all just before everything started going mammaries-skyward in the financial market. Back in the 80s my dad did very well for himself as a contractor and landlord - he owned several properties, drove a jaguar, both my brother & sister went to private school and so on, but everything went south in the housing crash in 1987. We were making do until the end of last year, when my mum fell ill - my dad & sister decided it was best they both move back to Kent, even though my mum would have been happier out in Ireland, but that's a different story. Originally it was only for a month or two until her health improved, but now with a longer course of treatment underway it's been 6 months and shows no signs of changing any time soon. I have to get out of my home.

Problem is, I moved back down to Kent primarily to free up some income to pay off my debts at a good rate. I'm a fair way there, but I've still got my overdraft to pay off. I'm only paying £350 a month now, which leaves a solid chunk of disposable income to do with as I please, and I'm sure as hell not gonna find a better deal anywhere near here. More money paid out on rent means less clearing debts. I've (perhaps stupidly) agreed to go to India for 3 weeks in November which won't be overly cheap - £600 for plane tickets and maybe another £500 over there - but from what I can tell, if I stay where I am I can clear pretty much everything of significance by the end of the year. Weighed against that is the feeling that, even at 25, I'm far, far too old to be living at home with my parents.

So what's the general feeling? Is it weird for a mid-20s to be living with their parents? Does it make a difference that I'm paying a substantial rent, though still considerably cheaper than a place elsewhere? How old is 'too old' to still be living with your folks?

Edit: Holy wall of text!
 
It depends. My brother is 26 and still lives with his parents. But then he is saving up for a house deposit with his girlfriend. There are no hard and fast rules really.
 
I'm 24, live with my parents, could afford not to, and am quite happy. I don't think it's weird at all. However, living here is free, and I think if I were to be close to paying anyway near market rate I'd be tempted to move out.
 
29 in 8 days time and still live at home.

This is mainly due to my nan living with us. Shes 95 in july, she moved in when she was 85. And i help to look after her etc.

But i have hinted, that me and the missus will be looking next year.
 
if your parents are ok with you living with them and you are respecting them and their rules and contributing positively to the house, then move out when you can afford to.
 
I moved back in with my parents about 6 years ago (I'm 30) at the time it was a choice of making ends meet but not much extra income or moving home and having a decent chunk of disposable income to play with.
 
I don't think there are age limits so much these days. But I find it strange (short of dire financial circumstances) those that can afford to move out and don't. I'm 22 and have definitely had enough of living with the 'rents! Infact it's my first goal upon getting a full time job after finishing my post-graduate studies this summer.
 
29 in 8 days time and still live at home.

This is mainly due to my nan living with us. Shes 95 in july, she moved in when she was 85. And i help to look after her etc.

But i have hinted, that me and the missus will be looking next year.

happy birthday in 8days mate, wow 95 :o
Thats a good thing your doing mate! :D
 
I am 29 and I still live with my parents. Not adverse to the idea of living on my own, but not currently in a good enough financial situation where I could easily making that transition. I do pay them "rent" or dig money as we call it round my way. I also buy all my own clothes/toilitries/pay all my own bills etc, so its not like im dependant on them.
 
I'm 24, live with my parents, could afford not to, and am quite happy. I don't think it's weird at all. However, living here is free, and I think if I were to be close to paying anyway near market rate I'd be tempted to move out.

Really? I'd feel a lot more uneasy if I weren't paying. My rent used to be £250, but I put the cash up myself because it was pretty low and my parents needed a bit more coming in.

29 in 8 days time and still live at home.

This is mainly due to my nan living with us. Shes 95 in july, she moved in when she was 85. And i help to look after her etc.

But i have hinted, that me and the missus will be looking next year.

Caring for a family member changes the situation somewhat, I guess. It's one reason that I'm not sure I should move out just yet - it's a pretty noticeable drop in monthly income for my folks. My sister's finished her course now and has started paying the same rent I do, but that's eased the burden rather than coming as any kind of bonus.
 
At 22 years old I'd find it difficult to move back in with my parents after living 250 miles away for almost a year. I just enjoy the freedom (not that they've ever said anything against doing anything). Living away means I can play music, watch tv, bring girls back, come home, leave etc whenever I like. I always used to feel guilty about coming back in at 3am when I lived with my parents incase I woke them up. My dad works from 6am too.
 
I don't believe there are or should be any hard and fast rules about when is too old to stop living with parents. I haven't lived with my parents since I was about 18 apart from a few months totalled over various summers at uni and much as I love them I don't think I'd want to go back to living with them. There's nothing wrong with it especially but I like my own freedom and that's something they have always encouraged me with so they can't be surprised by the results.
 
I think it depends on cultures aswell.

I may be biased in saying that eastern cultures are more family orientated so you will find young men living with their parents even after they are married. My cousin who is 31 is doing exactly that with 4 kids.

We are expected to look after our parents even when we have grown to 25-30 years of age.
 
Its totally dependant on HOw you are living with them.

If you are 30 with no job having lived off the dole for the last 10 years while mum and dad are spending their own money looking after you then that is crappy. If you are 30 but have a job, are paying your own way and are essentially using the time to get yourself onto the ladder then obviously its totally different.

I stayed at home until I got married at 24. Then because the house we were going after took forever to go through I lived with the wife at her folks place for the longest 9 months of my life (because none of my stuff was there and I was bored stupid every night, not because they are not nice folk). I was able to move out because we had saved like demons to get our house since we were about 22 and we are both really really proud that we were able to drop 31k on a deposit at that relative early stage of our lives when it takes a lot of people several more years.

My brother will probably be moving out in about a year so he'll be 24 also. Again, saving like a demon with his gf.

I think the problem is that too many people see living with parents as this hideous stigma that you can't cope on your own so they flock off at a young age and frequently end up having to go back mid 20s or nearing 30s to start again because they, like you, didn't control their finances particularly well for whatever reason (recession, shopaholic, **** it up the wall, whatever the reason good or bad). On the other hand if they stay at home for 3 more years save properly they can move out into their own place and never look back.
 
Last edited:
OW yeah, i just remembered. We talked about this the other week.

Around the time of 40 yr old virgin (the film not huddy :p)

We all said we would NOT be at home by the time we are 30.

Me - at home 30 next year
Simon - at home 30
Wayne - Moved back to his mum last week (30 in dec)
Ross - Moved out

So not good odd's lol
 
There's no age limit. There's no age where it becomes right or wrong - you may find it difficult socially, but then that's a pathetic reason to move out. I'm 23 and living with my mother as it means I can, in the same way that you are, pay off as much of my accumulated debts as I can.

I'm lucky that I have a great relationship with my mother and we respect eachother's space/freedom to do what we want. I get the feeling some people think I should move out, but I don't really give a damn. It's not their life.
 
Back
Top Bottom