i have 8gb because it was dirt cheap but tbh i am not sure it makes a difference from 4gb
still running an e8600 @ stock speed (can get it to 4.9ghz stable but no point imo) with an ati 4870X2 on a 1900x1200 screen and haven't had any reason to upgrade. my most demanding games are still crysis 1, age of conan and stalker and they run fine on my system, maybe nott 200fps but I don't really need such high fps. i am happy as long as it around the 40fps marker without any dips below 25fps
i know many have crazy amounts of ram, mega clocked quads etc... but i tend to think it's overkill for gaming unless they are running multiple screen configs, or they just have to play with 200fps. i think games are dominantly console ports and thus not really pushing any PC out there, at least this has been my experience with the games I have.
if you are struggling with a game, i would first look at the GFX card since that is where the biggest gains are usually made or maybe an ssd for quicker loading times
just my 2 cents