I was gonna post a worse one, then realised how just horrifically offensive it would have been
Want me to pm it?
Can you send it to me
Had a shock last night
- Thread starter No1newts
- Start date
Can you send it to me
Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jan 2009
- Posts
- 5,593
- Location
- Bedfordshire
Just a shame BTR suggested it would be a bad idea to post the other one
I think you would faint
A teenage girl was wearing a see-through top and no bra. Her gran threw a fit. "You can't go out like that!"
"Chill gran, these are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!"
The next day she comes in to find her gran topless. "Aaaargh! You can't do that gran!" Gran says: "If you can show your rose buds, I can show me hanging baskets!"
Too much?
"Chill gran, these are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!"
The next day she comes in to find her gran topless. "Aaaargh! You can't do that gran!" Gran says: "If you can show your rose buds, I can show me hanging baskets!"
Too much?
Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jan 2009
- Posts
- 5,593
- Location
- Bedfordshire
A teenage girl was wearing a see-through top and no bra. Her gran threw a fit. "You can't go out like that!"
"Chill gran, these are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!"
The next day she comes in to find her gran topless. "Aaaargh! You can't do that gran!" Gran says: "If you can show your rose buds, I can show me hanging baskets!"
Too much?
LOL, seen a lot worse. And is quite funny
Soldato
- Joined
- 10 Jan 2004
- Posts
- 9,979
- Location
- Poland
LOL!!!
LOL, seen a lot worse. And is quite funny
*Looks on laptop for repertoire of jokes*
Right then.. This should be fun
A man goes into a stripclub.
5 minutes later, he has spent all of his cash. Then spots a lady of negotiable affection walking up to him.
"Up for a tumble, love?" she asks, stripping.
"Sorry, I have no cash"
*looks down*
"ooh, it seems as if you accept card!"
Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jan 2009
- Posts
- 5,593
- Location
- Bedfordshire
*Looks on laptop for repertoire of jokes*
Right then.. This should be fun
A man goes into a stripclub.
5 minutes later, he has spent all of his cash. Then spots a lady of negotiable affection walking up to him.
"Up for a tumble, love?" she asks, stripping.
"Sorry, I have no cash"
*looks down*
"ooh, it seems as if you accept card!"
Oh dear lol LMAO
Shayper's one is funny
Which?
You will love this one
Two old guys, sensing that they are nearing the end, decide to go for one last night on the tiles.
Fast forward 5 hours, and they are sitting there in a brothel, completely wasted, eyeing up the girls. But none of them seemed interested.
So the owner of the establishment, taking pity, asks his deputy to take some blow up dolls upstairs for them: "they're so drunk that they won't know the difference."
The next day, the two guys are walking home, deep in conversation.
"That was the best night ever! It's been ages since I last had sex! Just a shame mine hardly moved, I thought she was dead..." says one.
"That's nothing! Mine was a witch!"
"Wow! How could you tell?"
Well, I was making love to her, and I thought that I would bite her neck a little, just like the old days. So I bit her, she farted, and flew out the window!"
Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jan 2009
- Posts
- 5,593
- Location
- Bedfordshire
LMAO HaHaHa
Shayper you going Brighton meet?
Shayper you going Brighton meet?
Caporegime
- Joined
- 28 Jun 2007
- Posts
- 52,812
- Location
- Tamworth, UK
She's not dead.
The one you sent through trust
Haha
I would post more, but it's hard finding ones that aren't too offensive for the forums
Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jan 2009
- Posts
- 5,593
- Location
- Bedfordshire
You will have to teach me how to roll properly lol
And I will at least be able to tell offensive jokes
Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jan 2009
- Posts
- 5,593
- Location
- Bedfordshire
You will have to teach me how to roll properly lol
And I will at least be able to tell offensive jokes
Awesome, so looking forward to the meet now.
I don't really tell jokes. I just do stupid stuff
Awesome, so looking forward to the meet now.
I don't really tell jokes. I just do stupid stuff
I hope to god there is no paddling pools around. The last time I saw one on a night out I somersaulted into it 
Curry house would be a good idea though. That vindaloo was nuts