Lack of fathers root cause of violence

colthillary said:
What utter rubbish IMO. Ive been with my missus for 14 years and have a 3 year old child with one on the way. Im not married nor do I ever intend to be. Never claimed a bean in my life and have served in the Royal Signals and now work for the emergency services.

Im not religious and as such do not feel the need to claim a woman with a gold ring. Most people I know have been married and divorced which makes marriage in this day and age a complete moo point.

Now id buy in to the chavs having kids to get flats, having kids at 16, having kids when you cant afford them etc but you have lost me on the marriage argument.

Kids need a stable enviroment, pref with both parents (doesnt always end in a parent leaving, they do die too). This alone isnt enough though, support, discipline and love is what is required.
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Unmarried parents are statistically more likely to separate than married parents. You don't need to be religious to get married - I believe the majority of weddings in the country are in registry offices.

You say you are married for 14 years. Do you not think your girlfriend is worth committing to? Is there a particular reason why you don't want to marry her?
 
An established, longterm relationship with adequate income to provide for a child is a good foundation to raise a child.

That said there are plenty of messed up kids out there with both parents living at home.
 
spudbynight said:
You say you are married for 14 years. Do you not think your girlfriend is worth committing to? Is there a particular reason why you don't want to marry her?
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He's committed 14 bloody years. He doesn't need the nod from a church to determine what equates to just commitment.

"Me and my wife have been together 14 years and we have a few kids and everything is great"
"OMG WHATS WRONG WITH YOU, DON'T YOU LOVE HER?! WHERE IS THE COMMITMENT! ONLY THOSE MARRIED IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD SHOW TRUE COMMITMENT!"
 
IDS has been saying this for a long time, and yet every attempt to try and support marriage and the like has been attacked by the trendy left who have instead worked hard to bred and spread this problem.

Rights come with responsibilities, we need to restore that link.
 
spudbynight said:
I am not saying that everyone from a single parent family goes on to become a looter.

What I am saying is that the lack of a stable home environment and strong male role model especially means that children are more likely to go astray.
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But what's your solution?

Force couples to stay together?
Remove kids from single parents?

I don't think anyone would ever dispute that kids are better off being brought up in a stable family environment, by 2 decent parents, if at all possible.

However, relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. What if one partner becomes abusive, is the child better off being brought up with both parents around, or is the child better off in an environment where there is only 1 parent and no violence?

The problem in a lot of cases is just poor parenting in general. But you can't stop people who are deemed 'bad parents' from having kids.
 
This frankly shows a lack of understanding of what the problem actually is. It is not "broken homes" - it is parents who do not accept, or even realise, their responsibility to raise their children as functioning members of society. I've known some fantastic people who have a single parent, completely dysfunctional ****-wits who were raised by the traditional married couple and everything in between. My partner is an excellent example - her parents divorced, and frankly, neither of them work - live on disability, you know the type, however, the dad stayed involved and they taught her responsibility and she is now a well rounded, hard working responsible person.

Its nothing to do with marriage, or even anything to do with the status of the parents relationship. Its only about the effort they both put into teaching the child what kind of person they should be.
 
Dolph said:
IDS has been saying this for a long time, and yet every attempt to try and support marriage and the like has been attacked by the trendy left who have instead worked hard to bred and spread this problem.

Rights come with responsibilities, we need to restore that link.
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+1
 
Brian8bit said:
He's committed 14 bloody years. He doesn't need the nod from a church to determine what equates to just commitment.

"Me and my wife have been together 14 years and we have a few kids and everything is great"
"OMG WHATS WRONG WITH YOU, DON'T YOU LOVE HER?! WHERE IS THE COMMITMENT! ONLY THOSE MARRIED IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD SHOW TRUE COMMITMENT!"
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spotlight fallacy though, just because he has a successful relationship without the legal and financial commitments involved in marriage, doesn't mean that, on average, separation rates among unmarried parents are significantly higher than married parents.
 
Linkex said:
This frankly shows a lack of understanding of what the problem actually is. It is not "broken homes" - it is parents who do not accept, or even realise, their responsibility to raise their children as functioning members of society. I've known some fantastic people who have a single parent, completely dysfunctional ****-wits who were raised by the traditional married couple and everything in between. My partner is an excellent example - her parents divorced, and frankly, neither of them work - live on disability, you know the type, however, the dad stayed involved and they taught her responsibility and she is now a well rounded, hard working responsible person.

Its nothing to do with marriage, or even anything to do with the status of the parents relationship. Its only about the effort they both put into teaching the child what kind of person they should be.
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Thats pretty much a definition of a broken home :rolleyes:.
 
Linkex said:
This frankly shows a lack of understanding of what the problem actually is. It is not "broken homes" - it is parents who do not accept, or even realise, their responsibility to raise their children as functioning members of society. I've known some fantastic people who have a single parent, completely dysfunctional ****-wits who were raised by the traditional married couple and everything in between. My partner is an excellent example - her parents divorced, and frankly, neither of them work - live on disability, you know the type, however, the dad stayed involved and they taught her responsibility and she is now a well rounded, hard working responsible person.

Its nothing to do with marriage, or even anything to do with the status of the parents relationship. Its only about the effort they both put into teaching the child what kind of person they should be.
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+1

Combine this with school holidays, boredom and the feeling of well they got away with it so I'm going to have a go = stuff getting smashed up and robbed.
 
spudbynight said:
Unmarried parents are statistically more likely to separate than married parents. You don't need to be religious to get married - I believe the majority of weddings in the country are in registry offices.

You say you are married for 14 years. Do you not think your girlfriend is worth committing to? Is there a particular reason why you don't want to marry her?
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I am commited to my partner. 14 years and counting to be honest. Not many in this day an age can say theyve been with there missus since they were 18! We were together for many years before having a child. Including owning our own home etc etc.

Marriage may be diluted into registry offices but still comes from a religious ceremony. I am emotionally secure enough not to need a piece of paper / ring to make me feel whole.

Its a life choice, if you need marriage to feel secure then thats fine. Id take the pepsi challange over staying with my missus over 99% of most modern day marriages!
 
spudbynight said:
This is exactly the sort of attitude I am talking about.

I am not denying there are kids who are raised with a single parent who turn out well. My parents divorced when I was young and I was effectively raised by just my mother.

It doesn't change the fact those children would be better off with a mother AND a father.
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It is not a fact but an opinion.

There are many two parent families where the upbringing is poor due to conflict parenting.

The quality of upbringing is the main factor which can be delivered by one or two parents.
 
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Dolph said:
spotlight fallacy though, just because he has a successful relationship without the legal and financial commitments involved in marriage, doesn't mean that, on average, separation rates among unmarried parents are significantly higher than married parents.
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Legal and financial commitments? We have a house which is in both our names as well as sharing a child between us. If I leave I will still be financially responsible for my child / children.



Its the 16 year old baby making machines that are the problem! Never working a day in their life and expecting to live on the state for the rest of their natural life! The children bore of these parasites continue the trend. Coupled with the nanny state, well were buggered!
 
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colthillary said:
I am commited to my partner. 14 years and counting to be honest. Not many in this day an age can say theyve been with there missus since they were 18! We were together for many years before having a child. Including owning our own home etc etc.

Marriage may be diluted into registry offices but still comes from a religious ceremony. I am emotionally secure enough not to need a piece of paper / ring to make me feel whole.

Its a life choice, if you need marriage to feel secure then thats fine. Id take the pepsi challange over staying with my missus over 99% of most modern day marriages!
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Can you give me a negative if you were to get married?
 
I think you guys are trying to rationalise something irrational, it's simply give an inch take a mile. The police have been shown to be incapable of controlling a situation so people are taking advantage.

The difference between these kids and us, they have nothing to loose.
 
My mum has had two divorces, should I be rioting?

I think it's mainly down to the environment these kids were brought up in. It's all very well blamin the parents, but if a kid goes all bat**** crazy because of the mates he hangs round with (peer pressure) what can the parent really do? I was lucky enough to be brought up in a good environment with a loving mother, and so far I haven't become one of these scrotes, I'm holding down two jobs and studying at uni (in London unfortunately, I do hope this ends before I go back =\)
 
Having a mother and a father is better for the child yes.

However, I have friends that have been raised up mostly by there mother.

They are fine, decent and sensible beings.

Its down to what the single parent/parents teach their kids.

Its all down to morals at the end of the day.
 
Marriage is just a word. My commitment to my partner is paramount and she knows that and I know that. We don't need to show that to anyone else but each other. Old fashioned views on married really get to me. If people want to get married great, if they don't that's fine too.

I think that these idiots will probably be rioting regardless of their home situation. It's probably more about education and social issues like mass unemployment. I mean, Im sure the lack of structure at home has something to do with it but you can't say for certain that the structure would be there if they had married parents.

I grew up in a single parent family with little money, doesn't mean there was no structure though.

I think, through the ages, there have always been people who just like to cause trouble. Its human (idiot) nature to rebel and push back.
 
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