The day I become a fat, middle-management company man who's always walking around with beads of sweat on my balding head, sucking up and saying things like 'I want to see a little bit more happy out of you. Think of us as your family and every day is Christmas', maybe then I'll start speaking like an arse. For the moment I'm happy to talk like a normal person. It still gets to message across.
Manager Lingo
- Thread starter Elixir
- Start date
The day I become a fat, middle-management company man who's always walking around with beads of sweat on my balding head, sucking up and saying things like 'I want to see a little bit more happy out of you. Think of us as your family and every day is Christmas', maybe then I'll start speaking like an arse. For the moment I'm happy to talk like a normal person. It still gets to message across.
you're obviously not pulling in the same direction. we're a family after all. going forward i see you either stepping up or stepping out. your choice.
Caporegime
- Joined
- 13 May 2003
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- 34,546
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- Warwickshire
We all need to be singing from the same hymn sheet.
How about inane job titles?
Last week I had an 'engineer' come down to my site that above his already lofty title, is also selling himself as a 'Cable Management Specialist'. When I asked him what exactly that was he fumbled around a bit and gave no satisfactory explanation. No wait, he did mention something about 'managing cables'. .... what? Make sense man!
Last week I had an 'engineer' come down to my site that above his already lofty title, is also selling himself as a 'Cable Management Specialist'. When I asked him what exactly that was he fumbled around a bit and gave no satisfactory explanation. No wait, he did mention something about 'managing cables'. .... what? Make sense man!
Soldato
- Joined
- 4 Apr 2003
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- 8,079
use it at the beginning, something along the lines of "thank you all for coming, over the course of the session we'll stand and bang about the most pressing of issues"
sure to be a winner
This may work
It's the only way to be a team player.
Soldato
- Joined
- 31 Mar 2006
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- Sydney Australia
Having a thought shower?
Plenty more here:
http://twitter.com/#!/managerspeak
http://twitter.com/#!/managerspeak
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 27 Sep 2004
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- Glasgow
A favourite at work currently is that we're trying to avoid just working in "silos" but there are lots more, many of which have already been mentioned.
While I dislike the idea of management speak on principle it is even worse when you realise that sometimes it actually expresses a concept more succinctly than you can do with dozens of "ordinary" words. It's a form of shorthand that once people in the organisation are aware of saves a lot of time, effort and ambiguity in description. That's not to say there's not still lots of times where it's used for the sake of it but sometimes it's actually useful.
While I dislike the idea of management speak on principle it is even worse when you realise that sometimes it actually expresses a concept more succinctly than you can do with dozens of "ordinary" words. It's a form of shorthand that once people in the organisation are aware of saves a lot of time, effort and ambiguity in description. That's not to say there's not still lots of times where it's used for the sake of it but sometimes it's actually useful.
Yeah I do agree... it is just when it is overused that it annoys me.
Going forward I will get on board.
"We're not trying to boil the ocean here", I heard that in a meeting and laughed out loud. Dirty looks abound.
I work in telecoms and it's stuff full of know-nothing ITIL types who cling longingly to the manual and framework, trying to do jobs they really know nothing about. It's rammed to the gills with buzzword bingo in my office. I value ITIL, but not in the way these morons use it.
I want to know when a meeting became a workshop, why people can't say "conference call" instead of "an audio", what the hell a synergy is, and why I can't "culturally fit" my size 12 up certain manager's backsides every time they hover by my desk talking of "alignments" and "backfills".
In short, I think I need to get out of the corporate environment and do something else instead.
I work in telecoms and it's stuff full of know-nothing ITIL types who cling longingly to the manual and framework, trying to do jobs they really know nothing about. It's rammed to the gills with buzzword bingo in my office. I value ITIL, but not in the way these morons use it.
I want to know when a meeting became a workshop, why people can't say "conference call" instead of "an audio", what the hell a synergy is, and why I can't "culturally fit" my size 12 up certain manager's backsides every time they hover by my desk talking of "alignments" and "backfills".
In short, I think I need to get out of the corporate environment and do something else instead.
This absolutely drives me up the wall at work...
My manager says 'absolutely' non stop. He even uses it when it can't possibly even been used
'Lets take this off-line'
'Look and feel'
rage
Failing that, try to get "ground and pound" in there instead!