Motivate me to study

SheepBeast

SheepBeast

SheepBeast

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I'll begin with some background: I excelled through primary and secondary school with literally zero effort whatsoever, getting the top marks in most things especially maths, where i won multiple best in school awards, and took part in national competitions. i left school with straight As at advanced higher in maths, physics and computing after putting in no revision at all, and not even turning up to many classes. i started uni at edinburgh university doing Astrophysics in sept 2009 and things pretty much went downhill from there.

i came from school not being at all used to doing work or studying. at first uni was equally easy as it just recapped stuff from adv. higher but later in the year new material was covered which i tried vaguely to learn, but it was kinda too late. i hadn't been bothering with classes or coursework and had an attendance of about 40%. i couldn't seem to make myself work even though i knew how important my degree is for my future, and that i am capable of doing well if i just put in some effort. i ended up failing the year and having to repeat it.

so i started 1st year uni again in september 2010 determined not to screw it up this time. however after about 2 weeks of being conscientious i started not bothering with lectures or coursework again and before i knew it exams were upon me and i was shafted. i managed to scrape through the august resits however (barely) so i am now in 2nd year finally.

it's the 6th week of semester 1 so far and my attendance is 27% as i calculated it. i literally have no idea what topic the lectures are even on as i haven't been to them in 3 weeks. every day i go to bed thinking "right, today was a waste - tommorrow you're gonna do better" but i always end up sleeping through the first few lectures the enxt day and then lazing about until it's time for bed again and i don't really understand why. it's pretty hard to psycho-analyse oneself objectively which is why i thought i'd ask you guys. i don't know anyone on these forums in person so not bothered if you all think i'm being pathetic :P

could this be a manifestation of depression, or something like that? i feel pretty lethargic and generally i waste the whole day just procrastinating and putting things off until eventually it's too late to do them so i don't bother. also i don't really have much/any confidence about myself. this, i think, stems from multiple factors including: my crap social skills and general awkwardness around people especially girls, lack of any contact with girls (i mean i dont even talk to them and if i try they ignore me), the fact i'm currently a failure while i watch my friends excel, and issues with family - namely that my seperated parents are getting more old and bitter and depressed themselves, and there are money issues with them too. my mum doesn't have enough to buy a house so she is living in a crappy flat. she has lot's of money locked up in the form of the house in which i grew up, which my dad currently lives in. trouble is, she can't sell it because that would mean kicking my dad out and i honestly think he'd go and kill himself if she did that, as he can be a bit unstable. so it's massively unfair on her but she basically has no home and all her stuff is in storage.

anyway sorry for the wall of text. just wondering if any of you guys have any comments or suggestions to give. does what i have written seem like i am depressed or am i just bone idle? do you know any good ways to find motivation or to deal with depression? any help with the individual issues i mentioned is appreciated too. i'm pretty good at seeming cheerful around friends/flatmates/family so they all think i'm fine and i've been telling them this year of uni is going well, so that they won't worry about me. tbh it's only when i'm by myself i get a bit stressed about things but i kinda enter a state of denial and think "ah, it'll be fine i'll do some work tomorrow", but then i never do. despite this, each night i manage to convince myself that the next day will be different.

TL;DR i think i'm depressed and it's making me fail uni which is making me more depressed. apologies for sob story, i honestly don't mind beng told i'm just over analysing and need to get my finger out. i don't mind even non-constructive criticism as generally i can see things objectively and realise if it's fair.
 
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A picture speaks a thousand words. This IS motivational.

potential.jpg


/thread :P
 
I know the feeling :(. Currently in my 2nd year of college, only finishing my coursework I. The last few weeks last year. I find my Alec bored, easily distracted, but i do the same as you, tell myself I'll work today but don't. Bits not that I don't know what to do, it's just I find the coursework boring and patronising. I dont mind an actual job, im not lazy then, but I hate studying, but I need it to give myself a god life. :(
 
Life is what you make it.

Sounds like your parents have a bad time and it's gone through to you.

Use that as your motivation, I'm not saying your parents weren't/aren't successful but look at the state they are in now, motivate yourself to not be like they are/were. Social skills however, is all about confidence. Just find a common ground with someone. You're at university so why don't you join a society and go to a social?

Best of luck.

EDIT: more thought

You need to open up to change. I came to university at the end of September and I know already I have changed as a person because I knew that coming here I would meet new people and be going through new experiences and have to be independent. Be more open to change, do something you wouldn't do normally. Also as for your class, did you feel pressurised into doing the degree you are doing? Did you do it because of the status/class it would give you? "Oh a degree in Astrophysics from Edinburgh, he must be smart". Hell Hull isn't the best university but I really enjoy my course, do you enjoy astrophysics? I know it may be hard to change but what if you did a subject you actually enjoy.
 
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On a serious note the depression is actually quite normal through uni. I know from personal experience that going through LONG periods of education. It's a lot more common than you may think. IMHO.

You should get some student support, that is what it is there for. Talk to student groups, I used to talk to the LGBT groups all the time (change of scenery, subjects, rhetoric etc). If you focus on things TOO long you WILL get depressed.

You need to come out of your shell, talk more to people around you, build relationships with people you wouldn't normally talk to (different groups). You will be amazed how it helps you later.
 
numatic.nathan said:
I know the feeling :(. Currently in my 2nd year of college, only finishing my coursework I. The last few weeks last year. I find my Alec bored, easily distracted, but i do the same as you, tell myself I'll work today but don't. Bits not that I don't know what to do, it's just I find the coursework boring and patronising. I dont mind an actual job, im not lazy then, but I hate studying, but I need it to give myself a god life. :(
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Celestial Nostos said:
Know the feeling, haha. It sucks hard.
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much as you guys have my sympathy and empathy, it's nice to know i'm not the only one who suffers from this problem so cheers for posting :). i guess it's a common problem caused by the independence gained upon starting uni. no-one to get you out of bed in the morning, no teachers to shout at you if you don't bother going to lectures. etc etc

Mason- said:
Life is what you make it.

Sounds like your parents have a bad time and it's gone through to you.

Use that as your motivation, I'm not saying your parents weren't/aren't successful but look at the state they are in now, motivate yourself to not be like they are/were. Social skills however, is all about confidence. Just find a common ground with someone. You're at university so why don't you join a society and go to a social?

Best of luck.
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i've got a good group of friends which i made at school. up until i started uni i was really good at making friends and very confident (possibly arrogant but meh). nowadays, i'm confident and outgoing around the people i already know, but around others i kinda withdraw because i don't feel like i am "one of them". it might be because i haven't been to lectures/tutorials much and so i feel like an outsider when i do go. everyone already has their friends and groups they made in 1st year, whereas i don't because i didn't turn up to meet anyone.

i don't have time to join any societies. maybe if i was getting my work done then i'd consider it but as it is i use my time so ridiculously inefficiently there's no chance of being able to get involved with much extra-curricular stuff. i have a band and we play sorta rock-type stuff at gigs in modest venues. i met my bandmates in first 1st year. youtube channel if any one has nothing better to do: http://www.youtube.com/user/0ngus?feature=mhee
 
Well your story seems very similar to my own(straight A student get to uni & gave up, two resisted 2nd years later and am finally in 3rd year but still procrastinating o the extreme)

Lethargy & lack of focus are symptomatic of depression & in my experience can reach the point of being crippling.

Firstly if you think your depressed go to the doctor, they will recommend a few courses of actions following tests.

Secondly talk to your personal tutor or someone at the university & inform them about your difficulties, so they don’t just think your being lazy they may be able to help or draw up a personal support plan.

Thirdly set yourself small goals to the point there joke eg: scrim read some notes (something is better than nothing) & doing something will help.

This sort of thing is self perpetuating doing nothing will only make you feel worse! As you do less serotonin levels drop making you more miserable ,so exercise or just get out of your house for any reason.

Talk to someone & be frank and honest about things.

Feel free to email me
 
Mason- said:
snip

You need to open up to change. I came to university at the end of September and I know already I have changed as a person because I knew that coming here I would meet new people and be going through new experiences and have to be independent. Be more open to change, do something you wouldn't do normally. Also as for your class, did you feel pressurised into doing the degree you are doing? Did you do it because of the status/class it would give you? "Oh a degree in Astrophysics from Edinburgh, he must be smart". Hell Hull isn't the best university but I really enjoy my course, do you enjoy astrophysics? I know it may be hard to change but what if you did a subject you actually enjoy.
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yeah, i've considered this. i really enjoy everything to do with computers and in first 1st year i did a programming course. i did a similarly pathetic level of work for it as i did for my other courses, but managed to get an A despite this. i think this is because my brain works in a very logical way and programming is completely logical. i'm doing programming this year too as part of my physics course and have 100% in it so far, it's the only component of my course i'm actually keeping up with. i really like programming, but i think the reason i put a bit more time in (still not much, mind you) is because the work is done on computers and doesn't feel like real work, whereas for physics and mathhs i have to sit down with a book. i think i may have developed some kind of mental block about that form of studying.

i do find astrophyics (and physicsy mathsy stuff in general) very interesting when i read about it, but i just can't be bothered putting in the time to learn it properly. it's pathetic and i never used to be like this. but maybe i was always like this, i just got away with it because of the ease of the tasks which were demanded ofme.
 
pretty tired so i'm gonna crash out. gonna put my alarm on the other side of the room which, provided i don't sleep through it, forces me to get up to turn it off. that sometimes is enough to make me go to lectures. i really appreciate all the replies so far, i'll be back on tomorrow to read through whatever's waiting for me. cheers guys
 
SheepBeast said:
yeah, i've considered this. i really enjoy everything to do with computers and in first 1st year i did a programming course. i did a similarly pathetic level of work for it as i did for my other courses, but managed to get an A despite this. i think this is because my brain works in a very logical way and programming is completely logical. i'm doing programming this year too as part of my physics course and have 100% in it so far, it's the only component of my course i'm actually keeping up with. i really like programming, but i think the reason i put a bit more time in (still not much, mind you) is because the work is done on computers and doesn't feel like real work, whereas for physics and mathhs i have to sit down with a book. i think i may have developed some kind of mental block about that form of studying.

i do find astrophyics (and physicsy mathsy stuff in general) very interesting when i read about it, but i just can't be bothered putting in the time to learn it properly. it's pathetic and i never used to be like this. but maybe i was always like this, i just got away with it because of the ease of the tasks which were demanded ofme.
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I'm like you.

I enjoy programming because I have a logical mind also and as such I'm doing a programming course. However I ****ing miss maths :( so much. I'm sad I know but I love it so much that after I finish my degree I'm contemplating doing a second degree in maths.

Edinburgh is meant to be amazing for computer science. All you can do is ask at the end of the day.
 
You're definitely not alone dude. I had a very similar story at uni, it was only right before my finals that I pulled myself together and made the effort to come out of it with something worthwhile. Go speak to your DoS, would be my first course of advice, I don't know about departments outside of LLC, but mine was incredible, I wouldn't have graduated without him. That aside, remind yourself why it is you're taking the course you've chosen, and make the most of being at a fantastic facility to broaden your knowledge.

...That, and remember that for your first two years, you only need to pass :p All else fails, I'm still in Edinburgh post graduation. Pint? :p Maybe not the most helpful idea...
 
Wasn't going to post as I was in bed putting a new tv episode on however I thought I would share my experience:

Similar situation with myself as I coasted through school without doing any homework or revision but didn't get the same qualifications as yourself I managed to get a few b's and mainly c's.

Same applied to college where I was happy just to get by on a pass knowing that was all I required to get into UNI and I was always telling myself its fine who cares as once I get my degree the college qualification wont matter so I was constantly convincing myself that it was going to be fine and get by without doing the extra work/revision.

I did a foundation degree and then a top up at University

I had always told myself that I was going to try really hard at UNI and put 100% effort in as I knew this was the time to do it but no matter what I just couldn't there was a massive gap in motivation despite knowing that 1 year of solid work was nothing compared to the rest of my life.

I got into UNI and all my friends who were in the same situation were telling me its going to be so much different and that I will need to study/revise in order to pass the year. I found myself missing early morning lectures as I was too tired to get up and then when I finally dragged myself in I was so furious that lecturers didn't turn up or that we did something completely useless and irrelevant to what we were being assessed on etc.

I stopped attending lectures and think my attendance was about 59% at the end of the year as I remember being worried that my qualification may be limited due to my attendance. This is from someone who had 100% attendance in school btw for 5 years.
My friends were constantly trying to convince me to goto lectures saying I had missed so much and then when I looked at their notes I realised I actually hadnt missed much. However It was clear that some of them were doing much better than me as I was on an average of about 55% while they were on about 80%.

I then just got into this massive loop of procrastination where I kept telling myself I would do work and start tomorrow or that I wouldn't work at the UNI and stay behind with my friends because the monitors were crap compared to my home one so it was faster and easier to work at home. I would get home and load up league of legends or another game telling myself I would do it later or just 1 more game or after I win the next game of FIFA. I would even miss out student nights on occasion telling myself I am not going out as I need to do work and catch up and then be so angry with myself after doing nothing and realising it was now 3am.

During the above I kept convincing myself that everything was going to be alright as I had always managed to complete my work before and get by. All these years no matter how close it got to the deadline I somehow managed to get my work in and and knuckle down to get by on the "average" grade.

Deadlines were getting closer and closer and I had not even started my dissertation while all my friends were on their testing phase. This worried me even more and then it kind of did set in that I was depressed but I would still enjoy myself socially going out on the weekends and playing a few games of cod etc.

I then kept thinking about all the money that was being wasted on loans and grants especially if I failed the year and then it was clear in my head that I only had to work solid for 2 months and that would be the equivalent to being paid £20k or however much I calculated it to be at the time. It was rationalised but it still didn't help give me motivation to start and I was in a massive gap hole that I couldn't get myself out of.

I got lucky with one of my exams as the University managed to attach the answers to all the exam booklets meaning we had to sit another exam a month later. Next thing I knew there was about 1 month left and I had everything to do in my dissertation and other subjects and I looked at my schedule and realised it was actually going to be so hard to get everything completed it just put a massive downer on me completely and I didn't do anything for a solid week. I hadn't even attempted to load the programs I just plain give up. I was so annoyed that I was failing but just couldn't bring myself to do anything about it and I knew if I just started it would be ok as I would get some momentum but this didn't happen.

Luckily I confided in my mother telling her how much I was getting down and how I hadn't done any work and that it was looking to be impossible and she just kept telling me I could do it and then after explaining to her how I couldn't as my marks were on a low average and how much work I had to do like 15k words in a few days and all the research etc. A few days would go by and she would call me asking if I had done anything and I would tell the truth saying I was struggling and that I just wasted time. My mother suffers from depression but she is getting better, I can get her out the house to take the dog for a walk but its hard or damn near impossible at times. She sort of confided in me about how she struggles but she does it for us(Me and my brother) and that shes proud of me no matter what and how I was the first in the family to goto University.

Next thing I knew I was writing a few paragraphs but it was taking me ages as I wasn't used to writing academically and it just completely destroyed that motivation I just got as it really did seem impossible to get all that work done on-time and researching for relevant journals seemed to require so much more time than I had anticipated. The next day my mum rang again and she was like I don't care and even if you do fail just do a few more and as much as you can and you will be surprised. I was adamant that it wasn't going to matter and I was going to fail but I did it anyway. I then realised I had gotten the momentum and I was finding it easier but as soon as I went to bed I started thinking that it was going to be back to normal. I called my mum in the morning just to have a chat and after I immediately started working.

I got really lucky as a few of my deadlines were extended as the lecturers weren't marking until after certain weeks so it meant I could put 100% into certain modules and still have a week to do the other before the deadline but I had my dissertation right around the corner. I found myself getting my work handed in MINUTES before the deadlines. I remember doing the binding on the final day of my dissertation hand in only to be told it would take them a day as they were full with requests and that I would get 35/40% max. I drove all the way to the metro centre and got it bound there for a rip off price just to get it in ontime but after I felt so good. Probably the happiest I had felt in a long time.

Next thing I knew it was my graduation and I had just scraped by on a 2.1 as my average just bumped me up. I was so happy and all my family were so proud of me but I knew I couldn't have done it without my mothers support.

It wasnt a quick fix however as it didnt solve all my problems. I still have only just gotten round to actually starting my C.V 3 month later despite saying I was going to do it Aug and join the gym. I finally joined the gym last week with my friends. Most my friends have jobs from UNI and it gets me down now and again but my C.V is getting there and I even told myself not to bother going for a masters yet as I just didnt have the motivation and I knew I wouldnt be able to get luckly/progress again as I wasnt commited enough just yet.

I am feeling better and currently really happy, I am aware I need to start searching for a job but hopefully some of the above may bring you some motivation in the feeling that you aren't the only one struggling with motivation. I even brought my room-mate down to the same level I was on convincing him to have one more game and put it off til later because I was but it wasn't the solution. In the end it worked out for us both.

Best of lucky and sorry for the NOVEL lol
 
Sounds to me like you need to take your thumb out of your rear and instead of saying "I'll do it tomorrow", say "I'll do it now" instead. Procrastinate and laze around after the work is done and you can then do whatever you want, guilt free.

The fact your attendance is 27% or something equally ridiculous is just more proof to me that your just lazy. How the hell the department hasn't given you some serious warnings by now, I have no idea. If you did this at my uni, you'd be removed from the uni by now :S

No one is going to hand your future to you as you need to work extremely hard at it to get anywhere near the goals you had before uni. Buy an alarm clock, read the manual, set it for a good 90 mins before your lecture starts and go from there. Take a long shower every morning just to wake up, get addicted to caffeine or any one of the many things you can do to be alert and just crack on with the work.

Uni is a fun experience if you get the work/play balance right. Leaving the work and just doing nothing isn't a good idea at all and you'll ultimately get yourself into a mountain of debt for sod all.

Sorry for the harsh post, but I do think you need to read the truth instead of just walking on egg shells or making excuses.
 
Haha, may as well as give a little 'story' myself then.

Introverted, anti social type person, so I had a small circle of main friends. I get along with pretty much everyone who isn't a plain outright dick (so everyone except neds and chavs) but that's as far as it goes. So, I hardly get out and my time is generally my own (and by that I meant spent by my foreveralonesome. Oh well). That probably has an effect on my general mood and depression as no normal human can spend long times alone and NOT get depressed.

Anyway, I had always got through school with minimum effort. (Not an all A student, but B's and C's. It worked for me.). That worked fine for lazy old me. The only subject I couldn't do well in at all without studying was maths, and because I was young and retarded, I just didn't bother. So, got a 3 in SG while I had 1s and 2s in everything else. 5th year comes along and I choose subjects like Graphics, English, Computing and Art & Design. Finish the year with ABBB, not bad I think.

This is generally the time that I got emo about career choices and figured I am digging myself into a hole and I need to step up my attitude and stop dicking around. So, I go with Higher Biology, Chemistry, Adv Graphics and Int 2 Maths. I'm hugely interested in sciences, especially astrophysics, but actually motivating myself to learn the material is near impossible.

Guess what happens? Yeah, minimum effort. Except in Maths where I pass with an easy A which makes me feel good I guess. I got CCC for the others (Even though I expected more coming out of the exams... they weren't that bad and I'm appealing so we'll see how that goes).

To further the maths and such I decided to take a gap year out and do self study courses in Higher Maths and Physics whilst working. I'm slowly getting better but it's still really hard to motivate myself to sit down and study and I do seriously get emo about it to the point of near tears because I feel I'm completely ****ing useless.

I keep telling myself if I screw this up then I'm going to end up with a crappy job and it's game over, but my brain doesn't seem to care. It's like an endless cycle that depresses the absolute hell out of me.

Like I said, I'm slowly forcing myself and getting better, but I've still got a long way to go and it really depresses the hell out of me. But, the main point is still there. Getting better and WILL continue to get better if it kills me.

I probably need help. :p
 
SheepBeast said:
lol ironically i always used to want to be an astronaut :) think i watched too much star trek as a kid
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Maybe you should study irony, because that's just a coincidence, not ironic. :)

Also, depression doesn't mean you're feeling sad, depression is essentially a state of mind, and if you think you are depressed you should go and consult some one over it.
 
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