Exes who are friends?

There is being friends and not meeting up/reguarly doing stuff together, I presume this is what he means.

I.e. I had a similar situation with a girl recently, we agreed to be friends after I didn't want a relationship with her.

She was adament that we'd have to still met up reguarly, text/talk and stuff reguarly, by 'friends' that isn't what I meant and she became some kind of bad itch. I wasn't leading her on at all, but she didn't get it.

You can be friends with someone without having to do the above is what I mean.

Sounds like you need to get over him and move on. Stay strong, whenyou tell him you don't want anything to do with him, HE WILL come back and make effort, he'll want what he effectively cannot have, get beyond that, make sure he gets the hint then move on with your life.


Maybe he meant 'good terms' as opposed to buddies.
 
The reason he wanted to be friends was to smooth his transition into his next relationship/stage of his life etc.

Its a bad move on anyone's part but he/she is using you, your not over him/her so you take the scraps rather than move on.

Its the main reason as soon as you split you should go no contact, if theres any hope of it working out, no contact is the only way to make it work.

Stop calling/texting/returning whatever, you cannot be friends with an ex until you both want nothing more than friendship and you cant do it straight after the split, im not saying its impossible, but its extremely unlikely to work because there will still be feelings involved on one side or the other.
 
Metalface Mark said:
The reason he wanted to be friends was to smooth his transition into his next relationship/stage of his life etc.

Its a bad move on anyone's part but he/she is using you, your not over him/her so you take the scraps rather than move on.

Its the main reason as soon as you split you should go no contact, if theres any hope of it working out, no contact is the only way to make it work.

Stop calling/texting/returning whatever, you cannot be friends with an ex until you both want nothing more than friendship and you cant do it straight after the split, im not saying its impossible, but its extremely unlikely to work because there will still be feelings involved on one side or the other.
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This is the explanation behind 'SEVER' being such good advice.
 
KatanaDV20 said:
You deserve better, you KNOW you deserve better.
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Now I'm not directing this as kaffe personally, but the above logic is something that has always annoyed me a bit.

Everybody seems to think they are entitled to their personal prince charming/princess pronstar, when the truth is that some people are crap. Some are ugly, or horrible, or conceited, or annoying, and that means that sometimes someone ugly/horrible/insensitive/etc IS what they deserve (or more diplomatically, as good as they will ever get).

Entitlement culture has even rotted itself in personal relationships, and it makes people, who cannot afford to be picky, very picky.

Again, not directed at kaffe personally, just something I have heard people (women more-so) spout without realising that it is the blue-ribbon of post break-up cliches.
 
arknor said:
only possible if the breakup is pretty mutual and you were only staying together because you were used to it and didnt want to make the chance imo
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I stayed good friends with an ex of mine for over a decade. We split because the relationship became impractical, not because of any bad feeling so it was quite easy. I lost contact after she got married though which is a bit of a shame. I suppose she thought she'd put the past behind her which is fair enough, I suppose.
 
Yea me and my GF broke up about 6 times in 8 years, for between 1 week and 6 months... We always stayed friends and look where that got us...

I think only once during a break up did we not actually stay friends, all the other times we kept in contact etc which just made it hard.
 
I don't have any EXEs that I am friends with any more.

On a related note I go to the pub with command.com on the first Friday of every month for a couple of beers.
 
Being friends with an ex never works out in my experience.

I know you haven't clarified the sleeping with him or not part, but just in case you are don't let him, he is probably just trying to use you as a **** buddy, especially if you are still hurting over him and he knows you will keep running back.
 
OP.
You've done it the wrong way round, You Don't hang around with each other for about 6 months then when you meet again you can be friends. If you hang around after a break you Never get over it.
Clean break & No contact at all for 6 months & stop wasting your time on somebody who is not interested in you.
 
I've recently split up with my wife to be, i was with her for 11 years but i've been friends with her for 17.
we're still friends, still talk, still text. we know theres nothing between us anymore, but friendship.

lol i'm even still going on the honeymoon with her. If you can both accept its over and put it to bed, i dont see why you cant stay friends.
 
krooton said:
Now I'm not directing this as kaffe personally, but the above logic is something that has always annoyed me a bit.

Everybody seems to think they are entitled to their personal prince charming/princess pronstar, when the truth is that some people are crap. Some are ugly, or horrible, or conceited, or annoying, and that means that sometimes someone ugly/horrible/insensitive/etc IS what they deserve (or more diplomatically, as good as they will ever get).

Entitlement culture has even rotted itself in personal relationships, and it makes people, who cannot afford to be picky, very picky.

Again, not directed at kaffe personally, just something I have heard people (women more-so) spout without realising that it is the blue-ribbon of post break-up cliches.
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This.
 
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