Hey everyone,
I seem to be facing a bit of a dilemma which you good people may be able to offer some useful advice for (famous last words). Basically I've really fallen for a girl who is currently in a 3 year relationship with a guy I work with. It's probably worth mentioning that I am not close friends with the guy, but as we do work at the same company we have socialised at a number of work dos and that's how I met his girlfriend, two months ago. I remember seeing her for the first time and noticing a reaction beyond the normal "ooh a hot chick, me wanna bone her!" reaction to seeing a fit girl. Something really happened inside, but I dismissed it as she was taken. However, as the night drew on and we started chatting, clearly there was huge chemistry between us and we had loads in common, we were both into each other and we wanted each other to know it. At the end of the night everyone else left so it was just the myself, her and her boyfriend, who was massively drunk. So I recommend we all go back to mine as I live local and they live quite far away, we can get some food and then they can call a cab. so back we went...
Back at mine, he pretty much passed out on my sofa and so me and the girl went into the kitchen to cook some food. Obviously we were flirting massively, throwing food at each other until our eyes met and we both leaned in and kissed. However she pulled away before long saying it was wrong and so we continued cooking. We were still flirting though and eventually we were sat on the counter leant against each other and we kissed again. Anyways, it didn't go any further and I made them both up a bed and the next morning they left, not before the girl turned and gave me a look of longing before she she left (god this sounds like some trashy mills and boon novel!)
So obviously I was pretty changed by this whole experience, never before have I clicked so naturally with a girl. I wanted to call her and tell her to break up with her boyfriend. But I decided I don't want to be that guy, so I didn't contact her at all and decided that if it is meant to be then it will work out in the fullness of time.
Flash forward to my birthday last week and her and her boyfriend showed up, which was the first time I'd seen her since the first time I met her. As the night wore on the guy decided to leave but she wanted to stay (he seemed okay with this!) and we slipped back into where we had left off, flirting massively which all my friends found quite amusing. She came back to mine after the bar closed and we had a bit of a heart to heart on the walk home. She said she really liked me and had been thinking about me, and had wanted to see me again but that she cared for her boyfriend and didn't want to leave him. I told her she needs to do whatever will make her happy. We ended up kissing some more before she got a taxi home. The next day she messaged em on facebook and said that she hoped to see me again soon.
Apologies for the epic saga but now I am at a cross roads. Clearly we both like each other, and it doesn't seem to be just a passing fling. Never before have I longed for someone like I do for her (and I think she feels the same), but I don't want to pressure her to leave her boyfriend, and I don't really want her to cheat on him (what kind of relationship could form from those ashes), and she seems unwilling to go there as well. It doesn't seem like there is any issues with her current relationship and from the people I've asked about her, she's not a **** (she doesn't seem that way at all). However, with each time we see each other things get more intense and it's becoming obvious to other people as well. So I guess my choices are:
a.) Nail her and kick her to the kerb!
b.) Cut off all contact and don't flirt if I see her again.
c.) Tell her to leave her boyfriend and be with me.
d.) Don't push her, let her work it out and if it's meant to be it will happen naturally in the fullness of time.
I'm kind of airing with option d. I *really* like this girl but if we do have any future I don't want it to start in a negative way. On the other hand, she is ridiculously hot and there is huge sexual chemistry between us. If she was single I'd be with her like a shot, but she's not and I work with her boyfriend which could make my professional life awkward. However, I thinking someone once said love is all that matters, and my gut tells me I shouldn't let this one go.
What should I do OCUK?!
I seem to be facing a bit of a dilemma which you good people may be able to offer some useful advice for (famous last words). Basically I've really fallen for a girl who is currently in a 3 year relationship with a guy I work with. It's probably worth mentioning that I am not close friends with the guy, but as we do work at the same company we have socialised at a number of work dos and that's how I met his girlfriend, two months ago. I remember seeing her for the first time and noticing a reaction beyond the normal "ooh a hot chick, me wanna bone her!" reaction to seeing a fit girl. Something really happened inside, but I dismissed it as she was taken. However, as the night drew on and we started chatting, clearly there was huge chemistry between us and we had loads in common, we were both into each other and we wanted each other to know it. At the end of the night everyone else left so it was just the myself, her and her boyfriend, who was massively drunk. So I recommend we all go back to mine as I live local and they live quite far away, we can get some food and then they can call a cab. so back we went...
Back at mine, he pretty much passed out on my sofa and so me and the girl went into the kitchen to cook some food. Obviously we were flirting massively, throwing food at each other until our eyes met and we both leaned in and kissed. However she pulled away before long saying it was wrong and so we continued cooking. We were still flirting though and eventually we were sat on the counter leant against each other and we kissed again. Anyways, it didn't go any further and I made them both up a bed and the next morning they left, not before the girl turned and gave me a look of longing before she she left (god this sounds like some trashy mills and boon novel!)
So obviously I was pretty changed by this whole experience, never before have I clicked so naturally with a girl. I wanted to call her and tell her to break up with her boyfriend. But I decided I don't want to be that guy, so I didn't contact her at all and decided that if it is meant to be then it will work out in the fullness of time.
Flash forward to my birthday last week and her and her boyfriend showed up, which was the first time I'd seen her since the first time I met her. As the night wore on the guy decided to leave but she wanted to stay (he seemed okay with this!) and we slipped back into where we had left off, flirting massively which all my friends found quite amusing. She came back to mine after the bar closed and we had a bit of a heart to heart on the walk home. She said she really liked me and had been thinking about me, and had wanted to see me again but that she cared for her boyfriend and didn't want to leave him. I told her she needs to do whatever will make her happy. We ended up kissing some more before she got a taxi home. The next day she messaged em on facebook and said that she hoped to see me again soon.
Apologies for the epic saga but now I am at a cross roads. Clearly we both like each other, and it doesn't seem to be just a passing fling. Never before have I longed for someone like I do for her (and I think she feels the same), but I don't want to pressure her to leave her boyfriend, and I don't really want her to cheat on him (what kind of relationship could form from those ashes), and she seems unwilling to go there as well. It doesn't seem like there is any issues with her current relationship and from the people I've asked about her, she's not a **** (she doesn't seem that way at all). However, with each time we see each other things get more intense and it's becoming obvious to other people as well. So I guess my choices are:
a.) Nail her and kick her to the kerb!
b.) Cut off all contact and don't flirt if I see her again.
c.) Tell her to leave her boyfriend and be with me.
d.) Don't push her, let her work it out and if it's meant to be it will happen naturally in the fullness of time.
I'm kind of airing with option d. I *really* like this girl but if we do have any future I don't want it to start in a negative way. On the other hand, she is ridiculously hot and there is huge sexual chemistry between us. If she was single I'd be with her like a shot, but she's not and I work with her boyfriend which could make my professional life awkward. However, I thinking someone once said love is all that matters, and my gut tells me I shouldn't let this one go.
What should I do OCUK?!
