opinion on bf/gf cheating....

It looks like I'm coming in the complete opposite side of the scale... Everyone is saying that "Mind cheating" is what 'men' do... Well, being 18 I don't know if you'll consider me a 'man' or a 'boy' but I don't think about being with anyone else apart from the girl I'm with at the moment.

However, I do always constantly worry that it will be her that cheats on me, it's kind of a big flaw to my personality! Massive worrier! But hey.

Personally, I would say if you're only thinking about it then who gives a damn? It's just like a fantasy, no harm done. But if you act on it then it becomes no-no territory! :P
 
Ahleckz said:
Though, as I said earlier if you think you are going to cheat on a partner then it will often be better to just do it, and see if that relieves the urge. You can then concentrate 100% on your relationship. There is no point throwing away a relationship because you fancy putting your end in someone else one time.
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Do you have any idea how selfish and immoral that sounds?
 
A friend of mine, who has eccentric views on most things, believes that mental infidelity is as bad as real world. Since he is incapable of not straying mentally, he justifies a position that he may as well be unfaithful in reality since he has already mentally strayed. Thankfully for his wife he is utterly incapable of even talking to women so his ill-thought out position remains untested.
 
sniffy said:
Do you have any idea how selfish and immoral that sounds?
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In what sense is immoral? We each live by our own moral codes, and analyse what we think is right or wrong.

I think that continuing in an unhappy relationship, no matter what (as many people do) is wrong and selfish to the other person and to your own happiness.
If putting your end in something else will relieve some stresses, worry, or wonder and be able to put your relationship back in the positive then I think it's acceptable. To totally end, what could be a happy relationship just so you can pork someone else once is again selfish to the other person.

If the urge is there, then it is unlikely to go away fully. The best thing you can do is tackle the problem head on (excuse the pun) and then get back to having a happy relationship with your partner.
 
_Jimlad_ said:
you're wrong. men think about sex with other women a lot, no matter how fit or lovely you are, we see the sexyness in others!

after all

Men like to lust
Women like to be lusted after
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You're describing boys not gentlemen. Of course we like to be lusted after but we also want to be romanced, feel cherished and adored and respected. This is why I won't have sex on the first date - not even if you went to Oxford - and is why my relationships so far have been about trust, respect and maturity.

Kamwah said:
Sorry but you're delusional. You'll find the men who say they don't do it are just good liars.

Males are hardwired to look for suitable mates just like women do but only culture deems that we should only have one so that's what happens the majority of the time.
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There is nothing in biology which says anything about this being a hardwired or genetic print which dictates the behaviour of boys. I mean men. I studied Biology and know this for a fact. It's a common misconception and used as an excuse for boys to be lewd. Ewww. I bet you watch 'those films' or, worse, have acted in them or watched them with a girl!
 
To the OP - You did the right thing as far as I'm concerned. You could have let things brew and make the situation a whole lot worse.

I wouldn't worry about the person you've been talking to.
 
Ahleckz said:
snip
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I think you make a good point when you say it could be considered selfish to end an otherwise good relationship because you want to get your end away with a particular someone. If that urge is there then there's not much that can be done about it. However it still strikes me as incredibly disrespectful to relief this urge behind your partner's back. I assume you wouldn't tell your partner if this happened because you know it would break her heart. If you have any respect for her you wouldn't do that for some fun in bed. I would honestly just call it a day if the urge became too great, gotta be something missing from the relationship for those interests to manifest. I guess you could say this is also selfish and you're probably right. It's not betrayal though. If the relationship was REALLY strong I'd attempt discussion away from the knife draw.

Ahleckz said:
The best thing you can do is tackle the problem head on (excuse the pun).
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:D
 
[FnG]magnolia;21311647 said:
You're describing boys not gentlemen. Of course we like to be lusted after but we also want to be romanced, feel cherished and adored and respected. This is why I won't have sex on the first date - not even if you went to Oxford - and is why my relationships so far have been about trust, respect and maturity.
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sorry you are either very naive or a bit simple. I love my wife and would not cheat on her in a physical term, but i simply can't help "mind cheat" or lusting at other girls, and i KNOW im not alone, it's impossible, men are wired very different, it is nothing to do with standards or morals, seriously what do you think when a man thinks when he seeing a half dressed lady dancing in a sexual way at a night club? it has nothing to do with respect or romance or love for your other. I don't go out looking for girls to lust over, they simply exist all around us
 
Hard to judge the OPs situation without more info.

I'm assuming your "thoughts of cheating" came about because there was actually another girl on the scene and you didn't just consider one day whether you'd cheat. Does this mean you were chatting to this other girl in a more-than-friendly manner before breaking up with your girlfriend?

Either way, splitting up was certainly a lot better than most people would do, but if you laid the groundworks to make sure the gates were open before you split up with your girlfriend I can see why someone could take a different standpoint.
 
[FnG]magnolia;21311647 said:
You're describing boys not gentlemen. Of course we like to be lusted after but we also want to be romanced, feel cherished and adored and respected. This is why I won't have sex on the first date - not even if you went to Oxford - and is why my relationships so far have been about trust, respect and maturity.



There is nothing in biology which says anything about this being a hardwired or genetic print which dictates the behaviour of boys. I mean men. I studied Biology and know this for a fact. It's a common misconception and used as an excuse for boys to be lewd. Ewww. I bet you watch 'those films' or, worse, have acted in them or watched them with a girl!
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Maybe not in biology but maybe in the psychiatric field? :confused:

So little is still known about the brain except the biology of it.
 
_Jimlad_ said:
sorry you are either very naive or a bit simple. I love my wife and would not cheat on her in a physical term, but i simply can't help "mind cheat" or lusting at other girls, and i KNOW im not alone, it's impossible, men are wired very different, it is nothing to do with standards or morals, seriously what do you think when a man thinks when he seeing a half dressed lady dancing in a sexual way at a night club? it has nothing to do with respect or romance or love for your other. I don't go out looking for girls to lust over, they simply exist all around us
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you're mind cheating on your wife right now with Magnolia aren't you? admit it!
 
FWIW - i never did or said or had intentions on anyone.....

it was the fact i was thinking about other women naked or in bed and wondering.....

if i was in love i wouldn't have thought that and after a few weeks i ended it -didn't end it straight away as i wanted to be sure.

The girl I was talking seems to be a bit dillusional like some on here.... :o:D

Or maybe i think to much and that's why i'm single? 'too' thoughtful? :eek:
 
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