Soldato
- Joined
- 31 Oct 2011
- Posts
- 2,545
- Location
- Leyland
I think Boris Johnson (Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (born 19 June 1964) is a British journalist and Politician, who serves as the current Mayor of London) is a pure genius, the man is a living legend and after his latest Olympic speech i have to say he is now my hero. They should make him King of the World.
In honour of my new hero, here are some of his most memorable quotes (stolen from other online sources) to help pave the way for his inevitable road to global domination.
On George W Bush
"The President is a cross-eyed Texan warmonger, unelected, inarticulate, who epitomises the arrogance of American foreign policy."
On using a mobile phone while driving
"I don't believe that is necessarily any more dangerous than the many other risky things that people do with their free hands while driving - nose-picking, reading the paper, studying the A-Z, beating the children, and so on."
On commuting
"I forgot that to rely on a train, in Blair's Britain, is to engage in a crapshoot with the devil."
On Euro-scepticism
"I can hardly condemn UKIP as a bunch of boss-eyed, foam-flecked Euro hysterics, when I have been sometimes not far short of boss-eyed, foam-flecked hysteria myself."
On Tony Blair
"It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall."
On becoming Prime Minister
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."
On Channel 5
"I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects."
On being sacked by Michael Howard
"My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters."
On how to vote
"Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."
On why he voted for David Cameron as Tory leader
"I'm backing David Cameron's campaign out of pure, cynical self-interest."
On drugs
"I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar."
On the City of Portsmouth
"Too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs."
On tennis
"I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around."
On the Liberal Democrats
"The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition."
In honour of my new hero, here are some of his most memorable quotes (stolen from other online sources) to help pave the way for his inevitable road to global domination.
On George W Bush
"The President is a cross-eyed Texan warmonger, unelected, inarticulate, who epitomises the arrogance of American foreign policy."
On using a mobile phone while driving
"I don't believe that is necessarily any more dangerous than the many other risky things that people do with their free hands while driving - nose-picking, reading the paper, studying the A-Z, beating the children, and so on."
On commuting
"I forgot that to rely on a train, in Blair's Britain, is to engage in a crapshoot with the devil."
On Euro-scepticism
"I can hardly condemn UKIP as a bunch of boss-eyed, foam-flecked Euro hysterics, when I have been sometimes not far short of boss-eyed, foam-flecked hysteria myself."
On Tony Blair
"It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall."
On becoming Prime Minister
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."
On Channel 5
"I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects."
On being sacked by Michael Howard
"My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters."
On how to vote
"Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."
On why he voted for David Cameron as Tory leader
"I'm backing David Cameron's campaign out of pure, cynical self-interest."
On drugs
"I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar."
On the City of Portsmouth
"Too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs."
On tennis
"I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around."
On the Liberal Democrats
"The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition."
brilliant
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