Ever so slightly angry right now!

Stelly said:
I take it the flat is in her name?

She will move in all the furniture then after a bit change the locks then she has all new furniture and kicked you out...

Stelly
Click to expand...

Yep it's in her name but she was quite happy to change it over to both our names if practical.

She wouldn't have any extra furniture in the flat as there simply isn't the space for it. The furniture would be kept at her mums house until we had somewhere new to move to. I've actually spoken to her mum about things and she's on my side on this one..she thinks her daughter is being ridiculous.
 
scratch said:
Yep it's in her name but she was quite happy to change it over to both our names if practical.

She wouldn't have any extra furniture in the flat as there simply isn't the space for it. The furniture would be kept at her mums house until we had somewhere new to move to. I've actually spoken to her mum about things and she's on my side on this one..she thinks her daughter is being ridiculous.
Click to expand...

Simple answer, drop the daughter, tap the mum, everyone's a winner :p
 
This, is in my opinion is just buying herself some time as it involves the least amount of commitment with the least amount of knock on problems for her whilst she decides whether she wants to commit. In effect, she now has her cake and she is eating it as the ball in entirely in here court, its still her flat so in the event of her being a typical fickle girl she changes her mind she does not stand to lose anything.

I would proceed, but with caution as it may bite you in the ass again or it may turn out happy times, don't put any more money into it or buy joint things as this will create more problems if you break up.

'Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.'

Good luck.
 
All the new stuff in her mums? You would be bloody crazy. That is worse than it being in the flat. Don't care what you think about her mother, blood is always thicker than water.
 
wilber said:
sounds like she wants to test the water before committing to a new place.
Click to expand...

This.

She got cold feet, panicked and then calmed herself down. This is the compromise course of action.

That flat will never be yours, despite what she says. You won't feel like it is, you'll forever be on egg shells and if push comes to shove she'll laud it over you.

Tread carefully my pedigree chum.
 
So many red flags :(

She doesn't like the house? Rubbish. She wants the comfort of her own flat which you'll become a flatmate in (not a partner in) because that means when she does dump you - and she will - she doesn't have to faff around with joint responsibility of a place.

There is nothing you've said that suggests anything positive will come from this relationship with your GF. Does she have a history of trust issues?
 
I don't get what your problem is OP. Why dont you just move into the new place by yourself? If g/f wants to move in with you after some time then its all good. If not, then you have a bachelor pad all for yourself and no strings!
 
[FnG]magnolia;22511513 said:
So many red flags :(

She doesn't like the house? Rubbish. She wants the comfort of her own flat which you'll become a flatmate in (not a partner in) because that means when she does dump you - and she will - she doesn't have to faff around with joint responsibility of a place.

There is nothing you've said that suggests anything positive will come from this relationship with your GF. Does she have a history of trust issues?
Click to expand...

With the contents of this thread in mind, the OP is also in a reasonable position to run at any time and can also spend the next few weeks / months gauging how well things would work for him.

Don't just assume the role of subordinate but use this situation to your advantage as mush as she will...

All the best.
 
Seems to me she's taking the easy way out as others have already mentioned.

She didn't contact you for days because she didn't like the house and now she says move into her flat which she could easily kick you back out of while the furniture is at her mums?

I'd be wary of the eclipse caused by the thumb over your head if you decide to move in.
 
Sounds like you're all thinking along the same lines as me then! I'm very conscious that by having me move in to her flat she's not really committing to moving in together in it's entirety.

I guess it all depends how much I trust the woman..unfortunately at the momoment I'm finding it hard to believe anything she says, hence why I'm having these doubts.
 
scratch said:
Sounds like you're all thinking along the same lines as me then! I'm very conscious that by having me move in to her flat she's not really committing to moving in together in it's entirety.

I guess it all depends how much I trust the woman..unfortunately at the momoment I'm finding it hard to believe anything she says, hence why I'm having these doubts.
Click to expand...

Thinking about this, you need to stay put and return all that furniture you bought.

If she gets cranky with you, remind her you're doing exactly what she is doing and that it's clear the timing isn't right for you two to move in together.

If she's still around in 6 months, try again.
 
webhound said:
I don't get what your problem is OP. Why dont you just move into the new place by yourself? If g/f wants to move in with you after some time then its all good. If not, then you have a bachelor pad all for yourself and no strings!
Click to expand...

I'd love to, but unfortuntely it's not an option financially. We could only afford the place by combining our incomes.
 
You gonna get raped (in a mental sense, not physical).

I would use it as a reason to get out (the lack of confidence, not the thought of mental rape).
 
scratch said:
I'd love to, but unfortuntely it's not an option financially. We could only afford the place by combining our incomes.
Click to expand...

Then I suggest you do as randal24 said and see about returning the furniture. If you're unsure of how things will go if you do move in together, whether it's into her flat or a place both of you own/rent then it really isn't the right time to do so. I'd see how things go for the next 6 months or so and see if you're both ready after that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom