First time dad...

Congrats!

I'm currently a dad of 10 day old daughter :)
It's tough going, like everyone has said here, once you get over the obscure sleeping patterns it's a great experience!
My wife is breastfeeding, and as a dad there's not a lot you can do but wake up with her and try and make her comfortable and do everything she asks, be the rock.
Govt. paternity is utter rubbish, I ended up saving my annual leave and taking it as all at once, roughly 28 days in total inc. any days off I'd normally have.
Maybe this is an option for you?
 
I became a dad on Christmas day 2011 !

In prep for the baby's arrival, buy plenty of babywipes and nappiesovertime you go shopping, saves a big hit when your partner goes off work.

Sign up to the baby's clubs at Tesco, Sainsburys, Asda and then sign upto to huggies, hipp babyand other brands of baby food. They will regularly send money off vouchers as your child grows up, sometimes free samples too.

Do look at car boots, markets and eBay and facebook baby groups for cheap clothes and toys.
There are obviously items of clothing you want to buy brand new, but most car boots sell items for 50p each. The baby grows that quick they really aren't in any item for long, then you can 're sell the item again for the same price!

Online there are hundreds of money off coupons for food, nappies etc. Find them and print then off, every penny helps!!

My partner has had a full year off with our child, I sadly lost my job in July this year, so honey has been very tight for us with the mortgage, but it's worth it when I see him smile at me in the morning :-)

Benefits wise, you will be entitled to child benefit of £20 a week. Everyone gets this.
You may get working tax and child tax benefits depending on your income while she's off. If you live in rented accommodation you may get help with the rent payments depending on your income. Also council tax benefit if again yup don't earn a lot.

Just remember that every child is different, and don't worry about how other babies can talk/walk quicker then yours, everyone learns at different rates and will get there in the end!

The quicker you can get into a routine with the cold once born the easy it becomes :-)
 
Ol!ver said:
ASDA own-brand nappies are pretty awesome too.

We've found NEXT's baby stuff to be good. Not quite as cheap as ASDA etc, but not much more expensive and they seem to last longer, as in the sizes seem to work out better. Suspect that'll depend on the baby though.
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ASDA's are good and we had no problems with them. Can vouch for Aldi too and they are really cheap :)
 
Congratulations

I never have understood why people choose to have kids then demand money from the government. A few weeks back I read that child benefits were getting tougher to get and now families that her upto 50k per parent were not going to get as much.

Well Gees, a 100 grand income and no handouts - That is terrible! ... no wonder the country is falling to bits

IMO anyone who has children should look into how much they are going to cost and put themselves in a financially stable situation first - One of the reasons I haven't had any kids is down to not earning enough to support a child on my own (with no free money)
 
Guest2 said:
Congratulations

I never have understood why people choose to have kids then demand money from the government. A few weeks back I read that child benefits were getting tougher to get and now families that her upto 50k per parent were not going to get as much.

Well Gees, a 100 grand income and no handouts - That is terrible! ... no wonder the country is falling to bits

IMO anyone who has children should look into how much they are going to cost and put themselves in a financially stable situation first - One of the reasons I haven't had any kids is down to not earning enough to support a child on my own
Click to expand...

We made sure we could afford them first, but even with all the warnings from those who already had kids, they are more expensive than you can imagine! However, if you need handouts when earning 100k a year you must have some very expensive "habbits"!
 
Congratulations.

There's no preparation*. You hang on for dear life and just enjoy the ride.


* Well there is. Buy nappies and stuff but 10 weeks is a little early to start that. But even doing all you think you can do it won't prepare you.
 
Sagi3 said:
We made sure we could afford them first, but even with all the warnings from those who already had kids, they are more expensive than you can imagine! However, if you need handouts when earning 100k a year you must have some very expensive "habbits"!
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I think before having kids I would want to move from rented accommodation to my own place and have a combined income of ~60k. I think even then most of my social life would be kissed goodbye.

Still, saying this I know people who are parents and go out more than me now?!
 
Oh I forgot to mention 2nd hand stuff is your friend and never say no to support!

Like a few others have mentioned, you can buy like new stuff for a massive discount @ car boots and eBay as the more experienced parents try to sell off stuff they barely used.

My wife and I, (with a bit of hunting) picked up a £800 buggy for £200, in fantastic condition and a changing table for £1.24 on the Bay!
Don't be disheartened by finances, it is what it is and you find ways.

If you plan not to 'look down there' at the birth, good luck to you, curiosity got the best of me!
 
Thanks everyone :)

No problem at all with the 2nd hand stuff, other halfs cousin had a baby boy last week so I have a source for some free/cheap baby stuff, will keep an eye out for other stuff too.

I'll start stocking up on stuff after xmas, ASDA quite often have nappies/wipes etc.. on offer, plus I live pretty close to a large ASDA.

I'm also not saying the government own me anything, just pointing out that the one time in my life I'm likely to need assistance financially I'm not really going to get it as I'd be better off using annual leave, I'm paid weekly so I would instantly notice the drop in income, in the long term we should be ok financially, just doesn't hurt to get what help you can :)

I will speak to one of the company directors in the next few weeks and see if they can provide any assistance, which may be helped by the fact my boss has a baby due in April, so I'll at least have his backing.

For saving cash, as it is I already put away £50 a week for emergencies, so that will be now used for the baby rather then buying new PC parts :p
 
Guest2 said:
Congratulations

I never have understood why people choose to have kids then demand money from the government. A few weeks back I read that child benefits were getting tougher to get and now families that her upto 50k per parent were not going to get as much.

Well Gees, a 100 grand income and no handouts - That is terrible! ... no wonder the country is falling to bits

IMO anyone who has children should look into how much they are going to cost and put themselves in a financially stable situation first - One of the reasons I haven't had any kids is down to not earning enough to support a child on my own (with no free money)
Click to expand...

Its 26k, over 26k combined and your child tax credits have been stopped, thats for 1 child, for 2, its 32k, combined.

I understand what youre saying, its wrong that people expect state handouts to raise kids, but on the other hand, the extortionate tax we pay, I feel I am entitled to some of it back.
Why should my tax go to somebody who doesnt work and has 5 kids, but not to me, who works, receives no benefits, and wants to have a small family?

If I am not entitled to any tax credits, then I should pay less tax, but hey, this is life, we have to pay for somebody elses balls up.

btw, if you wait til you can afford kids, ultimately, you will not have them, they cost money, more than you would like, no matter what you earn.
 
Personally I have no problem with my tax money going on schemes that help out hardworking parents.

Not everybody has the luxury of a very well paid job.
 
Congrats!!

P.S: I love Calpol! I remember preferring the Calpol for younger kids as when I turned the age for more grown up Calpol I remember it not tasting as nice. That's my interesting fact for the day :)
 
Tips.

1. Build a mancave somewhere, Attic,garden,garage.

2. Be nice to anybody from either side of the family who are able to look after baby.
 
I am a Dad of a 2 month year old boy and the first 5-6 weeks are the hardest. My boy now sleeps through the night (well from 5 weeks) which has been a game changer.

My 2 pieces of advice are as follows:

  • Go to the NCT classes - While much of the stuff is common sense, it's important for your partner to have friends in the same situation as her to help support her. They are about £180 but worth every penny, fantastic for networking.
  • Make sure you get your son/daughter in a good routine, this is what helped us massively. My girlfriend read loads of books and the routines really helped us and the baby. I really think this is why he has slept so well during the nights. The other day he slept 14 hours :)
 
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