New parents time planning

Oxy said:
zero free time for 12 months at least.
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That's not how it's been for me (Two kids, one is 3 the other is about 5 weeks old). While children take up a lot of time and effort with a good partnership you can both get free time to unwind. I go to watch football every other Saturday and my other half goes out fairly regularly (has been out with her girlfriends since 12 today for their Christmas lunch!).

The thing is a lot of your going out together involves the children anyway so it's not like you're stuck in the house all the time, your priorities and enjoyment of free time changes a bit. If we want to go out together for something like an evening meal without the children then the grandparents/uncle/aunt are local and always love having the kids for a couple of hours which also helps, although we're yet to leave the baby with anyone - will leave that a few months.
 
All depends - my son (now 6) had Jaundice when it was born
So that means feeding him EVERY three hours for the first week = no decent sleep.
When mum and baby worked out how to feed effeciently things improved.

For the first 4 months he would only fall sleep when held so he could hear a heartbeat.
Once asleep you might be able to put him down in the cot (if you got lucky)
And would need someone interacting with him ALL the time when awake.
This was mentally draining on mum durring the day and my job as soon as i got home.

I was a zombie at work at this time - sleep was my spare time hobby.

6 - 8 months we started training him to get him self to sleep in his room.
First sligns of 'gifted' behaviour and lack of social skills

10 months ish first full night of sleep - and a major improvement in our quality of life (hobbies restarted when he was asleep)

Grandparents were a massive help in allowing us to have a meal out or see a film at this time.
But usually one of us would be home if the other one was out with friends.

The one-to-one stimulation was needed all the way up to full time school.
He could read a analog clock or simple book at 2
but couldn't 'read' other childrens faces, hated messy play and had no creative play.
When he was diagnosed with ASD (or higher fuctioning aspergers) much of the hardship we faced as parents made more sence.

Thankfully he's REALLY bright and has 'learned' the social skills that you need in life (that most kids just know)
so he now has friends and is doing really well.

As I said he's 6 now and only just able to play by himself happily.
I wouldn't change him of the world.

So you might get lucky and have a eat, poo and sleep dream baby.
Or you might not.
Either way you'll most likely want as much sleep as you can get in the first 6 months. (or be there so your wife can sleep)
 
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My daughter is just over 8 months old, we're lucky if she only gets up 3-4 times a night (she has to wake up at least once for food and medicine as she has a haemangioma over her left eye, before this she would sleep right through) and has done from about 2 months old.

She's been rolling from 4 months and crawling from 5, naps twice a day usually for 30 minutes or so. Despite this my wife and I still try to go out once or twice a month together without Sophie, which I think is a priority over individual hobbies as it's too easy to just get stuck in a routine and forget that you were a couple before you were a family.
 
My son is 2, I've played golf probably 5 or 6 times in that period for 2 reasons, the first is the time it takes and the 2nd is i felt guilty about not spending time with him and I actually really wanted to spend time with the family. Missed him when I was golfing.

It's not having free time that's the issue, it's when the time is. For me it's when he goes to bed, so from 1830-1900 onwards, it kinda cuts down your options somewhat. (though christmas has shot his routine to buggery)

And the best bit of advice I saw was on here somewhere in a similar thread not long ago. It recounted the story of a guy who worked a lot as he wanted to sort his career out so essentially his kid grew up without him, and by the time he was ready to spend time with his kid, the kid was too old and no longer interested in doing the father/son things.

So make the most of the time you have when they are young and want to do things with you :)
 
[FnG]magnolia;23460196 said:
Why should a child get in the way of your free time?
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Obviously barring major problems with the child I agree with you.
Both my girls were healthy so I was able to carry on as normal as long as I did Dad things when expected.
 
The only hobby you'll have time for is watching TV. Everything else is too time consuming and just ends up not being worth the effort!

We we usually go to a nice pub for lunch at weekends. Until today, this was all fine. Our little baby used to be fed before we go and the car journey sent her off to the land of nod. Used to enjoy lunch with baby asleep. She's just over 4 months old now and we tried this today.... sure, she went to sleep in the car, but as soon as we got there she was wide awake. Was fine for a while, but then it all kicked off! Proper full on screaming fit! It was quite stressful!

and back to TV - prepare for every episode to be split into multiple showings and movies actually become a mini-series!

Your life as you know it is OVER! But I'll tell you what, it's also AMAZING!!! :D
 
Gosh you and I have polar experiences....lets hope his experience is less stressful. I have had none of what you describe.


rotters
 
As a golfer with an 18 month old who thankfully has been straight forward and a very practical and capable wife, I would say that you should pay as you play.

It's unlikely in my opinion that you will have time in the first year to play regularly. Even when the baby is settled and in a routine your partner will need your help in the down times.

In time things will change and you will get some freedom back but in my case it took until about 14 months before I could commit to playing regularly again.
 
We had our first child in Sept 2011. My partner was off work for 8 months so I was able to continue my MTB'ing and road cycling during this period. I was training roughly 150 miles a week (Approx 12 hours)
However, since May this year we are both full time working so my riding has completely dropped away. There is even no time for gym sessions any more so my fitness has dropped off a cliff.

I'm happy with this as my little boy means everything to me.

It depends on your situation - if your partner isn't working then you'll probably get some time to do stuff you want.
 
You really won't know until it get's here and after 4-6 months what kind of baby you have. I still had loads of free time. My son slept from 6 months old for 12 hours and even now at 3 1/2 will sleep atleast 12 hours a night. Up until he was almost 3 would sleep for 2-3 hours during the day as well.

As that made things far less demanding on both of us, we have both plenty of free time to do things we wanted and neither of us is tired. We got very lucky, our friends little boy sleeps for no more than 3 hours in a 24 hour period, EVER!

They sleep in shifts and always looked ****ed!

As said you need to wait and see what happens, good luck :)

One of the best investments we made having one child was a gro clock. My son doesn't get out of bed until the sunshine comes up on the clock. Having one there's no one else up to disturb him and he's trained to not leave his bedroom until the set time on the clock. I'd recommend that to anyone with one child.
 
I currently have a 5 week old. In the past 5 weeks I've worked 6 days and despite this, I've had hardly any free time.

You won't know until the baby arrives.
 
This thread just shows why I won'thave kids . All credit to those that do, but I know I couldn't. Was one of the important things to discuss soon into a serious relationship
 
I think it's important to find ways to do sports / hobbies etc. after you have kids but you will rightly be very second place and should feel out what works for your family.
 
I have a 2 month old so I can give you my experience I’ve had so far - I got 4 weeks off when she was born and what they say is true, they do sleep allot. She was feeding between 4 hours But she was taking around 3 hrs to feed which meant 1 hr free time catching up on sleep most of the time and then back into the feeding. She is now fine after changing the milk and she sleeps between 5hrs after 30mins feed.

I did get my free time buts its on a rare occasion - we try to organise to have at least 1 day free time each and take turns. She has her girly time with friends or pampers herself and I look after the baby. My free time is computer games with mates or warhammer 40k which I have just took up because at least I can put it down and help out if needs be.

But kiss golf goodbye! (sorry)
 
Cheers for the responses guys. Going up to the club today to hand my lover key back. From the sounds of it it's just not worth it and to be honest I think i will enjoy it more when I do get chance to go out.

May get back into flightsim something I can do at home and put down if needed.

Think I'd rather spend any free time as a couple
 
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