Magnolia's sweet shop : a strategy game of confectionery

Memo from : LOAM
Recipient : [email protected]

My organisation has recently intercepted several emails from within your company, how and why are, shall we say irrelevant. Your boss is a crazed lunatic, sure he's loveable and likes a good dance but his current state of mind is as stable as a jelly castle on a whackaplate.

Also you will pay dearly if these ******* cheques you issued for the cherry laces bounce.

You will also note that Mr Shayper is noticeable by his absence, we have him. Intact we are hurting him as you read this. He is being forced to mix eurotrance and dubstep on a setup with no pitch control and evertime he fails to beatmatch he receives 25000V through his testicles. I can assure he's not in a great way, hahahaha.

Anyway must dash

Xxx

LOAM
 
LOAM said:
Memo from : LOAM
Recipient : [email protected]

My organisation has recently intercepted several emails from with your company, how and why are, shall we say irrelevant. Your boss is a crazed lunatic, sure he's loveable and likes a good dance but his current state of mind is as stable as a jelly castle on a whackaplate.

Also you will pay dearly if these ******* cheques you issued for the cherry laces, bounce.

You will also note that Mr Shayper is noticeable by his absence, we have him. Intact we are hurting him as you read this. He is being forced to mix eurotrance and dubstep on a setup with no pitch control and evertime he fails to beatmatch he receives 25000V through his testicles. I can assure he's not in a great way, hahahaha.

Anyway must dash

Xxx

LOAM
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Mr loam, our business is presently preparing to undergo some changes. As such, I cannot guarantee the cheques will clear. With regards to your treatment of mr shayper, you are a villian and a fraud, and I must release mr chase to deal with you. Good luck.
 
Hmm, I wonder if Mr Chase has been paid recently? I suspect he may shortly be working within my organisation. Did you know he can lift Bison ?

As for shayper, forget him. He will shortly be swimming with fishes, and no that's not a new dance craze.
 
Email from: Bennie "Sugar Daddy" Mac
Recipient: Magnolia's Sweetie Shop

Dear Sirs

I am a wealthy man with a taste for women much younger than my own age. I currently am experiencing problems keeping my companions awake during the course of my company, as apparently pretending to be various items of scantily clad furniture can be quite boring for them. My hatstand fell asleep last night and two of my favourite hats ended up on the floor, I was most displeased. I feel the only obvious solution would be to keep a healthy supply of sugary treats on standby so they may snack at appropriate times for additional energy.

Would it be possible for you to quote me a price for 1 months worth of a selection of your various sweets, for 11 average build teenage women and 1 rather portly gal (she makes a damn fine armoir though). Please bear in mind that the 12 girls only offer their services on the weekends and every Thursday, so roughly 12 days per month they are in my company.

I would be interested in making this a long standing arrangement with yourselves, after a trial month of course. If you could get back to me as soon as possible that would be much appreciated. I'm sure you understand that time is of the essence.

Best Regards
Lord Bennie "sugar daddy" Mac M.P
 
Gentlemen,

I have in my possession a most troubling correspondence. How it came to me I cannot elucidate save to mutter from the corner of my very mouth that I am a fellow of the press, but I am urgenced to share my discovery with you. It is a matter most concerning. Read on:


13568782022573879411183.jpg



Pray tell sirs, what will you do? What will you do?

Signed,

A Friend.
 
Edrof said:
Gentlemen,

I have in my possession a most troubling correspondence. How it came to me I cannot elucidate save to mutter from the corner of my very mouth that I am a fellow of the press, but I am urgenced to share my discovery with you. It is a matter most concerning. Read on:






Pray tell sirs, what will you do? What will you do?

Signed,

A Friend.[/QUOTE]

Call the poisoners bluff. :p
Click to expand...
 
LOAM said:
Memo from : LOAM
Recipient : [email protected]

My organisation has recently intercepted several emails from within your company, how and why are, shall we say irrelevant. Your boss is a crazed lunatic, sure he's loveable and likes a good dance but his current state of mind is as stable as a jelly castle on a whackaplate.

Also you will pay dearly if these ******* cheques you issued for the cherry laces bounce.

You will also note that Mr Shayper is noticeable by his absence, we have him. Intact we are hurting him as you read this. He is being forced to mix eurotrance and dubstep on a setup with no pitch control and evertime he fails to beatmatch he receives 25000V through his testicles. I can assure he's not in a great way, hahahaha.

Anyway must dash

Xxx

LOAM
Click to expand...

It appears my fears weren't unfounded, I have detected a second intrusion into our system originating from the Nottingham area.
This time I was more ready and was able to retrieve a webcam image from the attackers system which I have helpfully annotated.

shayp_zps0a96f4a9.jpg
 
Devrij said:
Certainly sir. Are you well? You've seemed... distracted... of late.

Memo:
Recipient:sudden and moses

Mr sudden, having examined the profit and loss sheet in response to the external enquiry, I fear that Mr Magnolia may have had no need to instruct the downplay of our success. The truth is, we are in massive debt. Having purchased thousands of questionable red laces, traded much stock, hired numerous staff of ranging expertise, we have made only one small sale to date! Mr Magnolia must know. It's the only explanation for his odd behaviour of late. Is it true that he has been discussing wills with you?

I think it is only prudent that we prepare the company for liquidation immediately. If Mr Magnolia objects, I will have no choice but to call a vote of no confidence with the other staff. How long has he been hiding this from us with his extravagant dancing parties?! That poor sweet man, I suppose he only wanted to let us down easy.

Let me know when the preparations have been made. This charade has gone on long enough

Regards,
Sir Devrij Toppobottomus
Click to expand...

Devrij said:
Mr loam, our business is presently preparing to undergo some changes.
Click to expand...

One always wonders when the older man will be replaced by the younger man. When he will be challenged and in what manner and under which guise.

As a younger gentleman I enjoyed cruise ships - they're formidable and almost unsinkable, almost unsinkable - and yet.

And yet there was something unlikeable about them. Isn't that unusual! Something so robust, so grand, so noble in spirit.

How like a God?

And yet here we are.

A difference of opinion. How disappointing that you end this way.

rerouted said:
Email from: Mr B
Recipient: Magnolia's Sweetie Shop

Dear Sirs

I am a wealthy man with a taste for women much younger than my own age. I currently am experiencing problems keeping my companions awake during the course of my company, as apparently pretending to be various items of scantily clad furniture can be quite boring for them. My hatstand fell asleep last night and two of my favourite hats ended up on the floor, I was most displeased. I feel the only obvious solution would be to keep a healthy supply of sugary treats on standby so they may snack at appropriate times for additional energy.

Would it be possible for you to quote me a price for 1 months worth of a selection of your various sweets, for 11 average build teenage women and 1 rather portly gal (she makes a damn fine armoir though). Please bear in mind that the 12 girls only offer their services on the weekends and every Thursday, so roughly 12 days per month they are in my company.

I would be interested in making this a long standing arrangement with yourselves, after a trial month of course. If you could get back to me as soon as possible that would be much appreciated. I'm sure you understand that time is of the essence.

Best Regards
Lord B
Click to expand...

And finally, after all the miss-steps and misquotes and mistakes, he arrives.

Mr B.

13568782022573879411183.jpg


It appears we have an issue. Thank goodness I have a benniefactor.
 
Memo from : Magnolia
Recipients : Devrij, B, Mr C

Isn't it terrible when things, people, just disappear?

No, it is not.

Sometimes you are the cruise ship and sometimes you are the gasping, drowning traitor.

Nothing to be done. How sad.
 
This is a dilemma indeed.

While I am loyal to Mr Magnolia...I also need to take into account that my salaray is tied into the sweetie shop's profits and with such abysmal figures as sir devrij is reporting, it does not bode well.

I am sure Mr Chase would agree as well. After all, how can you have a soldier of fortune working for someone unable to provide a fortune.

As a compromise, I suggest the following - I put the company into administration. Mr Magnloia - you will have 48 hours to turn the business around. If you succeed, we all win! If not, then liquidation will be the only option, with the bulk of the assets going to myself and sir devrij and Mr Chase. The blood contracts ensure this. Please note that while in administration, all assets will be guarded by Cerberus. This was not a cheap acquisition but a worthwhile one, I assure you.

Mr Chase - if by any chance you are still under the illusion of loyalty to Mr Magnolia rather than the business, please let me remind you that I own your soul. Furthermore, I have great respect for your bison lifting abilities (hence my suggestion earlier to give you a bonus. This was of course before I was aware of the financial difficulties). Rest assured, you will be well compensated.

As for 'the poisoner' - sir devrij - please do a cost benefit analysis and if the downside is worth spending our time on.
 
Sudden said:
This is a dilemma indeed.

While I am loyal to Mr Magnolia...I also need to take into account that my salaray is tied into the sweetie shop's profits and with such abysmal figures as sir devrij is reporting, it does not bode well.

I am sure Mr Chase would agree as well. After all, how can you have a soldier of fortune working for someone unable to provide a fortune.

As a compromise, I suggest the following - I put the company into administration. Mr Magnloia - you will have 48 hours to turn the business around. If you succeed, we all win! If not, then liquidation will be the only option, with the bulk of the assets going to myself and sir devrij and Mr Chase. The blood contracts ensure this. Please note that while in administration, all assets will be guarded by Cerberus. This was not a cheap acquisition but a worthwhile one, I assure you.

Mr Chase - if by any chance you are still under the illusion of loyalty to Mr Magnolia rather than the business, please let me remind you that I own your soul. Furthermore, I have great respect for your bison lifting abilities (hence my suggestion earlier to give you a bonus. This was of course before I was aware of the financial difficulties). Rest assured, you will be well compensated.

As for 'the poisoner' - sir devrij - please do a cost benefit analysis and if the downside is worth spending our time on.
Click to expand...

I suggest immediate liquidation. I suspect we can recoup most of our losses by selling our entire stock of red laces at a discounted rate (the quality control issue would have prevented us selling them on anyway) to Mr B, whose insatiable appetite for furniture ladies will require them.

As for the poisoner, if we are not selling stock then his threats are toothless. Let him send more mail if he desires.

I'll be leaving for Istanbul in the private jet later this evening. If you could wire me my share once the details have been arranged, then I would be most grateful.

Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure.

Kind regards,
Sir Devrij Toppobottomus
 
mrbell1984 said:
If you say spam 5 times in this thread it will get closed by a mod.
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Well of course, that's to be expected; spam is entirely unrelated to the sweetie industry, and so mentioning it to such a large degree would clearly be off topic! If you're feeling left out, perhaps you could start your own spiced luncheon meat shop?
 
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