Mrs just left me..

[FnG]magnolia;23535062 said:

Thanks, definitely a good read. I feel the pain for OP, my almost 5 year relationship ended just 5 days to xmas.

Currently been doing the 3 of the 5 post phases and its crap how its all over and having to pick up all the pieces. Also having dozens of mutual friends, mutual interests etc still not sure how to deal with that.
 
sorry to say that would be the end for me, if she needs space this time and comes back, what is to say she will not do it again. once the trust has gone it is over.
 
I feel your pain, my wife left just before Xmas and to be honest I was a serious douche about it. I've been through pretty much all the stages in the thread Mag linked.

Don't dwell on the things you've given up for her, live for you and concentrate on your well being. The best thing I did was stop stewing.
 
Thanks for all the replies guys..

And to answer the biggest ones..

No, I don't believe she's out with anyone else or would even jump straight into bed with another bloke.. (thats what they all think I here you say).. but, I just know shes not that type of bird. Yourll have to take my word for that.

Yes, Ive basically funded her through uni.. Long story: I didnt have much of a choice but to move out on my own 2 years ago.. we were both happy and sensible and decided it would be a good idea to do it together. The most she could and still can afford to give in contribution to me is £300pm. I pay for everything else via full time job. I was happy doing it and still am. It was a long term thought as after her 3 year course we'll be better off so doing this for the short term really isnt any issue.

Delete facebook, lawyer up, hit the gym.
 
Thanks for all the replies guys..

And to answer the biggest ones..

No, I don't believe she's out with anyone else or would even jump straight into bed with another bloke.. (thats what they all think I here you say).. but, I just know shes not that type of bird. Yourll have to take my word for that.

Actually I won't take your word for it. I've been there and if you keep believing this then you're just lying to yourself to save you a bit of pain.

That's not just me being harsh, that's me going through a similar experience when I wasn't much older than you are now.

My advice, if you can afford the house by yourself, shove all her stuff in black bags by the front door and send her a text telling her when she can collect it and leave her key. Tell her you want to know when she's coming so that you can be out of the house (but have a mate there so she doesn't take **** that isn't hers) Give her a week to collect or it's charity shopped.

Sounds harsh? Because it is but that's how you should deal with it.
 
Given that she leaves you at or near the end of Uni you can probably assume your relationship has been over for some time and she just didn't tell you because it was more convenient not to. Girls don't play the love game fair. There is no "I know her" if she's played you like that.
 
Ah the sweet confusion of youth, I tell you a story about a couple where a guy was giving it all to the girl, he loved her even despite her not-so-nice personality. In time she felt like she didn't love him, she felt like she was with him out of fear...fear to move on and be something else. The confusion of youth made her break up with him. Oh he tried to talk, to understand what is happening but to no avail, basket case of emotions clouding her judgement.

5 years have passed since, they're friends. He moved on...she not so much. Only 5 years did she admit that it was a huge mistake...you see she had to make the mistake to realize how good her life was before. There's a story for you. Even though it's obvious she was making a mistake was the anything the boy could do but to move on? Should he have pressured her?...that doesn't seem right, after all that wouldn't have taught her the lesson.

Perhaps your story is different and all this is not applicable but as I say, time goes on, things change only thing for you left to do is to move on.
 
My previous girlfriend was like this, she lived with me for almost 2 years rent free while we were both at uni and I was working full time. She had a Job in a cafe but decided she didn't like it. I basically ended up supporting her. Then she did this to me. I thought to myself "sod her" and set about smashing the pasties of a number of fit female work colleagues, one of which turned out to be an amazing girl who I have been with for over 18 months now and we split everything down the middle! It's a great feeling wanting to pay for something for her rather than having to. Funny thing was the ex came back after the summer expecting me to have been pining over her and seemed pretty put out that I'd moved on.
 
It sucks ass, but you're 22. Like many normal people you may well do this relationship thing all over again, with 2 or three more girls before you finally find one to settle down with.

You could always enjoy being your own man for a while, and now's the time to do it. You won't get these next few years back.. enjoy em! I'm very happily married man in my 30s now, but I regret all the time I put into relationships before I was 27, because most people completely change between their 20s and 30s.
 
Ask her to be completely honest, not in a needy way, but in a need-to-know way, what about you,the relationship went wrong for her? Then either use that to try and patch things up or to improve yourself as a person and move on, good luck mate.
 
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