Where is my life going

Arsonist

Arsonist

Arsonist

Associate
Joined
11 Jul 2012
Posts
1,540
Location
Nomadic
So, I often wonder where my life is heading.

I'm from a fairly privilaged background, and have had a very good upbringing. I graduated in Summer 2010, and have sinced missed every day of A levels and university, where I really felt I lived.

Met the other half in last year of uni, summer 2009, and after graduating in 2010, moved hundereds of miles away from family and friends to live with her and her parents ( but have lived on our own for the last year.) Worked a dead end job in the middle of nowhere for nearly 3 years, and now her parents have moved to Wales, and she is following in May, living with them again, but moving into a caravan.

I want to be with her (love her) but she doesn't want kids ever, and one day I do, and just feel our lives are in such different places. For once I actually have a direction (about to take up an MA in museum studies summer 2010), yet she has zero idea what she wants to do, and had admitted she isnt worried about being sucessfull in life,

I am so stuck in like right now, really sot sure what to dol

Hope you appreciate this was written while very drunk, and does not need a reply. Just sometimes, I feel writing something down in a public place helps my thoughts.

Wish I was 18 again.

Love arsonist x

Moved in the first place to be with her
 
You made your problem very obvious,

You sacrificed what you probably wanted to do for a woman. It always ends up in this kind of place, there was thread here by guy who wanted to move to new Zealand and his gf didn't. Luckily he came to his senses dumped her and moved over there. He made thread other week saying how happy he is now and almost can't believe he didn't do it. My advice was the same as it is in this thread.

Follow your own path and don't ever diverge off it for someone else, the people who really will matter to you will end up with you along the way. Your gf is probably going to move to wales and you don't want too, don't make a serious mistake and end up even unhappier.
 
Last edited:
Cut her loose. It will hurt but living her life is going to hurt you for years and you'll probably split anyway :/

Sober up first though
 
Look. You love her and the rest of your life will be about her. Her way and what she wants and what she chooses. This is the way of the world and most men end up trailing behind their women because they're in love and women have way more strength than men psychologically.

The question is.... is SHE worth it? Only you know the answer to that.

Can you be happy, are you doing what you want to do with your life, is she hindering some development, things you would do or want to do. Women are a ****ing pain in the arse.... just be careful and don't give up everything because of familial pressure and the fact you get pussy on tap becaues there's way more to life than that, i.e. your own goals and ideals.
 
Last edited:
Lysander said:
Look. You love her and the rest of your life will be about her. Her way and what she wants and what she chooses. This is the way of the world and most men end up trailing behind their women because they're in love and women have way more strength than men psychologically.

The question is.... is SHE worth it? Only you know the answer to that.

Can you be happy, are you doing what you want to do with your life, is she hindering some development, things you would do or want to do. Women are a ****ing pain in the arse.... just be careful and don't give up everything because of familial pressure and the fact you get pussy on tap becaues there's way more to life than that, i.e. your own goals and ideals.
Click to expand...

Yep,

As men I think we are really meant to be on our own path following our own thing, I think it's what makes us men. OP made mistake of following gf to this end.
 
sp1ke said:
Yep,

As men I think we are really meant to be on our own path following our own thing, I think it's what makes us men. OP made mistake of following gf to this end.
Click to expand...
There tiny little Problem with that..

With us being men are main Instinct is normally to chase women...:D
 
Last edited:
Lysander said:
Look. You love her and the rest of your life will be about her. Her way and what she wants and what she chooses. This is the way of the world and most men end up trailing behind their women because they're in love and women have way more strength than men psychologically.
Click to expand...
Happens the other way around too you know. Unfortunately, you don't realise that you've pretty given up on (or put on hold) most of your dreams and aspirations for someone else and fallen into a serious rut until it's too late.

You only live once.
 
As a couple, you have to redirect your own personal routes through life, and agree to go down the same one, you both have to give & take, not only in the bedroom ;).

This sounds like it is all her her her. Man up. Punch her.

No point in having one part of your life happy, while being miserable in the others. I am quite materialistic, and fortunately my OH knows this, so the success part is something we go for so we can buy nice things. If I knew I never had a chance of owning a house, an M3, having a family, then we wouldn't be together.
 
You have 2 two problems 1 MA in museum studies, limited MA for jobs, 2 iher, she does not know what she wants, no children now but give it a few years and it'll all change.
You are destroying your life to please her and you'll end up regretting it.
 
Look after #1. IF you're not happy, then irrespective of how you feel for her, you will not gain happiness as this is clearly eating away at you. It's a tough call - but you have to think about what you want.
 
She is towing you around the country like the caravan you are about to go live in. Time to become a motor home and go your own way. *cue Fleetwood Mac song*
 
The one thing I've learnt in life is that a good option is always to blow up the caravan.

Otherwise I agree with above -it's obviously not making you happy in your current situation. Just let her go and get on with doing what you want to do.
 
Judging by your username, up in smoke :D

Ok, more serious answer.

It really seems like she's the one holding you back, and limiting your life as such.

If you're really not happy because of it, there's only one solution, which unfortunately I think you know. That said, have you tried talking to her about this? If you haven't, do that. Don't go into it with a 'if I have this conversation we are going to break up mentality', but a 'I want to find a compromise where we are both happy'. It seems remarkably weird that she would follow her parents if they move.

You really need to work out where you want your life to go, and work out if you can achieve those things with her. If not, you have to decide whether you're willing to sacrifice some of them for her, but as I've said, relationships are, in part, about compromise. You'll need her to be willing to change as well.

kd
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom