Magnolia the Construct

YOU DRINK THE GATORADE FOR ENERGY AND TO QUENCH YOUR THIRST AND IMMEDIATELY FEEL BETTER. PULLING YOUR JORTS UP OVER YOUR FAT STOMACH AND DOING UP THE BELT CAUSES YOU TO WINCE ('THERE WILL BE TIME LATER, SAILOR MOON' YOU THINK) YOU HEAD TO YOUR COMPUTER.

THE ANIME DAZZLES YOUR BRAIN. 'OTAKU FOR LIFE' YOU SAY, MONOTONE. GRUDGINGLY YOU PRESS THE <ESCAPE> KEY AND YOUR MONITOR SHOWS SOMETHING LESS AWFUL. IT IS A FORUM AND YOU ARE THE SUBJECT. THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

YOU BRIEFLY WONDER WHO GANDALF IS BEFORE DISMISSING HIM AS THAT WIZARD FAG WHO DIDN'T KNOW ANY RAD SPELLS JESUS UNDERSTATEMENT IS ONE THING BUT BEING USELESS IS JUST ... YOU COMPOSE YOURSELF AS BEST YOU CAN.

YOU ARE IN A LARGE BUT DARK ROOM. THERE ARE NO CURTAINS AND THE ONLY LIGHT COMES FROM YOUR FLICKERING CRT MONITOR. IT DISPLAYS A FORUM AND THE THREAD YOU ARE VIEWING IS ABOUT YOU.

ON THE COMPUTER DESK YOU SEE SOME KEYS. YOU ALSO SEE A FINISHED BOTTLE OF GATORADE, A TUB OF BABY WIPES, AND AN UNOPENED PACK OF CHEETOS.

YOU ARE HUNGRY AND THIRSTY BUT LESS SO THAN BEFORE. YOU ARE STILL TIRED.

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THE MONITOR FLICKERS AND A NAME APPEARS ON THE SCREEN THEN YOU SUDDENLY BECOME AWARE OF THE SMELL OF DEATH

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I met Ian Banks when I was 8 years old when he used to live in Fife, Scotland. He came to our Primary School and said hello to us as part of a "famous people who live nearby" thing. He was not famous at the time but that changed a few years later with The Wasp Factory.

He's one of my favourite authors and I prefer the 'M' to the non 'M'.
 
Hikari Kisugi said:
A 'Culture' construct?
There should be enough loose ends and pointed information within it to to make the Iln take and interest and want a closer look.
If we're lucky she'll be able to detonate the antimater device in her head and take out and save the sphere.
Click to expand...

Eh?
 
Gilly said:
Iain M. Banks.

Boring :(
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say boring. It's clever (I hate this word) stuff and generally well written although he definitely needs a better Editor to take out all of the extra guff that goes nowhere.

Who's your favourite author?

As a final, unrelated, point I want to make a thread whereby Dons award marks or scores (or bans, ho ho!) for user input. It'll be like a tragic X Factor. Can I rely on your vote and the fact that you will ban Maccy before he locks my thread?
 
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I can't promise to ban Maccy unless he breaks rules, but I can promise to want to?

My ultimate favourite author is, in fact, GTA. And then me.
 
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