money in relationships

joelk2

joelk2

joelk2

Soldato
Joined
22 Nov 2010
Posts
5,827
so im married with a little girl.

i work full time, i dont go out drinking, i dont smoke, i go to the gym to keep me healthy as i work in an office.

so after the bills have gone out. (joint account, phone , gym, petrol, savings, nursery) i have money left over.

all of our house type bills (mortgage, leccy, water, food etc) comes out of our joint account.

mostly the rest of my money ends up going on takeaways or bits and bobs from the shops (food)

my wife works full time pays off her side of the bills and she has money left over.

so my view on this is that she is free to do whatever she likes with her money and me with mine.

is this the same in yours?
 
I live alone & spend all my money on toys & if I get the chance I use her credit card or cash to buy even more toys. :p
 
so do your other half's question what you buy?

im in a position now that i want to build a gaming pc.

my mrs hates gaming as it is.

she thinks im wasting my money and that it could be better spent elsewhere. she wants to buy wallpaper and she gives that an example saying she's spending HER money to make OUR house look nice.

despite me spending literally thousands of pounds buying furniture when i had a ppi payout.
 
She doesn't question it because she doesn't need to. I talk to her about it before I spend it.
 
Doesn't sound like a marriage with mutual respect tbh. My wife and I have shared all of our finances since becoming engaged.

As Gilly said, our money is ours to spend - no tit-for-tat over who owes what.
 
We both cover expenses, she has her money - I have mine - but I end up spending most of mine on her anyway lol.
 
Before we had kids we both had our own incomes and did what we liked other than both contributing to a house account. Now my wife is a full time mother so I contribute more to the house account and give her some disposable. The rest goes on pros and partying.
 
joelk2 said:
so do your other half's question what you buy?

im in a position now that i want to build a gaming pc.

my mrs hates gaming as it is.

she thinks im wasting my money and that it could be better spent elsewhere. she wants to buy wallpaper and she gives that an example saying she's spending HER money to make OUR house look nice.

despite me spending literally thousands of pounds buying furniture when i had a ppi payout.
Click to expand...

25358181.jpg
 
It was the same as other people. One big pot and you're free to spend as and when without the need to justify anything, so long as you didn't empty the account and leave nothing to cover bills.

Large amounts were discussed and when it came to spearation everything was split down the middle 50/50. We are both adults.
 
elmarko said:
We both cover expenses, she has her money - I have mine - but I end up spending most of mine on her anyway lol.
Click to expand...

This pretty much, we have no kids and beyond house bills no other responsibility on our finances.

I speak to her about large purchases but it would never be an issue unless it was some ridiculous wast of money we just didn't have to spend.
 
@Suarez7 - Yes she indeed does.

we scrimped and saved enough money to cover her side of the bills for 10 months off work when our little one came along. her mum gave her enough cash to cover the bills for another 6 months and during this time i contributed more towards things as she wasnt working.

so a gaming pc is something i want and apart from work and gym twice a week my spare time when little one/wife has gone to bed is play xbox ,ive specced up a decent machine for £500 and agreed to sell off my xbox and games to go towards the purchase.
 
Last edited:
We tend to have a rough split of bills each in our seperate accounts. Then we spend the rest on whatever we want but usually check with each other before anything extravegant (hifi for me). If either of us is struggling for money one month then the other helps out and cuts back.

I prefer it this was as it allows me to buy her nice things every now and then without her knowing.
 
ci_newman said:
Doesn't sound like a marriage with mutual respect tbh. My wife and I have shared all of our finances since becoming engaged.

As Gilly said, our money is ours to spend - no tit-for-tat over who owes what.
Click to expand...

It doesn't have to be tit-for-tat, and tbh I'm sure it rarely is. Before cheildren when we were both working my wife & I split all bills, which were paid out of a joint account. Anything we had left was our disposable income to do with as we pleased. There was no "tit-for-tat", we'd more often than not do things together and one of us would pick up the bill and if one was short we'd ask if the other could cover the cost. Easy to do if you're both grown-ups.

The danger of having everything in one account is that if the other party dies or takes it upon themselves to behave irrationally, the other party can be sealed off from all their funds. This happened to a friend of mine whose finace called off their wedding without explanation, moved out and changed the password on their internet banking & cancelled their cards. she was cut off from her own cash and all their shared assets.
 
Set amount each month into a joint account. Rent, food, bills, furniture etc come out of this account.

Otherwise mostly separate as we disagree on what disposable income should be spent on. Going ok at the 5 year mark, so seems to work.
 
I earn 10x what she does, so it would be a little unfair otherwise. I pay for the rent, mortgage on our other place, bills, shopping, childcare and we both have cards for the account where it all goes. Her money, I don't really know where it goes, but as long as it quietens down her flapping about my buying, I don't care.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom