Depression/Stress

No1newts

No1newts

No1newts

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Anyone ever had to deal with anyone close to them suffering from this?

I don't particularly want to go into too much detail but my missus has been to see the doctor and they have said that this may be effecting her and she has to go back next week.

Bit worried to be fair, so any advice would be appreciated.
 
I've been through it, message me in trust if you need.

I'd strongly recommend phoning up the Samaritans
 
lots of people suffer from depression, so I wouldn't immediately jump to any conclusions about how terrible it is. Asking for help is the most important step, and she's done that(I assume anyway). Just support her, don't get frustrated with her if she's not feeling up to going out or has a bad day, etc, etc.

Essentially its hard to give advice because, some people, in fact a majority of people I believe, suffer from short periods of depression at some stage of their life, its fairly normal to feel down for a short while every now and then, its less normal/healthy for it to be over prolonged periods. Depression covers a massively wide range of different symptoms with people reacting incredibly differently and suffering from very different degree's of depression.

Be supportive is the broad advice though, don't judge, don't treat depression/mental health as so many people do, like not a real problem.
 
drunkenmaster said:
lots of people suffer from depression, so I wouldn't immediately jump to any conclusions about how terrible it is. Asking for help is the most important step, and she's done that(I assume anyway). Just support her, don't get frustrated with her if she's not feeling up to going out or has a bad day, etc, etc.

Essentially its hard to give advice because, some people, in fact a majority of people I believe, suffer from short periods of depression at some stage of their life, its fairly normal to feel down for a short while every now and then, its less normal/healthy for it to be over prolonged periods. Depression covers a massively wide range of different symptoms with people reacting incredibly differently and suffering from very different degree's of depression.

Be supportive is the broad advice though, don't judge, don't treat depression/mental health as so many people do, like not a real problem.
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That's good advice. Dont make a big deal about it. The fact she's raised it is a good sign. Be supportive, if you do need to talk to someone then phone the Samaritans about it. If she's really depressed she'll start hiding stuff from you, it's not aimed at you *remember this* - she's embarssed or scared to share. Be supportive.
 
You need to start doing some soul searching with her, she needs to get to bottom of the depression and find out whats causing it, otherwise it will go on and on.

Ever taken e?
 
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Depression is very complicated, different people reach differently. I personally didn't listen to anyone's advice as I feel further and further down that rabbit hole, What got me out of it was a good kicking up the arse by a close friend. Now I admit this may not be for everyone.

My advice is to show that you'll be there for her, i.e. if she wants to talk and when she wants to talk, don't try to force the conversation as it comes across as hostile. Get her to write about what's bringing her down, what's shes grateful for and what she wants to achieve in her life and start taking actions to help her achieve it.

Also get her to join you in exercise if you can, I know it sounds stupid but getting out into fresh air really allows you to clear your head and think. plus the exercise will help mentally as well.

Thats my two cents, take it as you will.
 
Abraxaz1 said:
Get her to write about what's bringing her down, what's shes grateful for and what she wants to achieve in her life and start taking actions to help her achieve it.

Also get her to join you in exercise if you can, I know it sounds stupid but getting out into fresh air really allows you to clear your head and think. plus the exercise will help mentally as well.

Thats my two cents, take it as you will.
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Great advice, writing down the good things in your life really makes you think how grateful you are just to be living. It's all about understanding the depression, as soon as you can do that you can move forward and deal with it.
 
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Been through it, well still going through it and more. It's a lot more common than people realise, mainly due to the stigma attached to any mental health issues.

Just always be available, to talk or to just listen. Make sure she knows you are but don't push. She might not even really know what is causing it, so just give it time.
 
Depression isnt a sign of weakness.
Its a sign of staying strong for too long.

Absolutely nothing for her to be embarrased or ashamed about, just remember depression is an illness so of she says or does anything out of character its the illness and not her.
 
During my worst times I was an aggressive, hurtful, scathing wreck of a human most of the time when I wasn't drunk. Trying to self-destruct, looking back on it.

I'm glad my wife stuck with me, as it would have been so much easier for her to just pack it in. She dragged me to the doctor and convinced me to get help, which gave me the kick to really get a handle on things by myself (again). I generally cycle... malaise/general pessimism and misanthropy (ie. my normal being), then crashes every 6-7 years where I need some help. I tend not to see it coming until it's too late, and I'm floundering in a sea of loathing.

My advice would be to let her know you're there for her. Don't force her into talking it over, but do make sure she understands that it isn't weak to get things out and you can certainly get through it all together. I know I tried to push people away - I've done it every time I've crashed and lost a few friends over the years in the process - but ultimately we all need somebody you know and trust who's willing to set you on the right track and, honestly, just truthfully tell you that it's going to be okay. Serious depression carries a crushing burden of fallacious guilt -- Why does anyone else deserve my ****? Everyone else has their own problems, wise up you idiot. Nobody needs to listen to you - nor do they care to. -- The best message to get through is that this isn't true. There's nothing to be guilty about, and it isn't weak to ask for help and guidance.

In the pit there's only darkness, and the dismissal of any light on accord of it being the proverbial freight train. Until, in your own misguided self-destruction you dig so far you're staring straight into hell. Personally, I stood there, broken, and profoundly despaired. I'm glad I had someone strong enough to pull me out.

Best wishes to both of you.
 
My OH went through it for a while, one of our house mates had epilepsy, and unfortunately we found her one morning. My OH had to do CPR, but it was no good, paramedics arrived and they were doing their bit but it was too late.

It affected her for a lot longer than it did me to be honest, and she would only really open up about it all when we got drunk.

So for us, drinking helped because she would actually talk about it, then moved onto talking when sober too, and now it is all pretty much resolved. Things work in different ways for different people, so bear that in mind!
 
kohlditz said:
That's good advice. Dont make a big deal about it. The fact she's raised it is a good sign. Be supportive, if you do need to talk to someone then phone the Samaritans about it. If she's really depressed she'll start hiding stuff from you, it's not aimed at you *remember this* - she's embarssed or scared to share. Be supportive.
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Good advice.
 
Think somebody needs to bring this back down to GD.

1. Just give her a shake & tell her to pull herself together.
2. Trade her in for a new one.
3. Spike all her drinks.
4. Give her a proper reason to be depressed, Go **** her Sisters & Mum & her Dad.


The balance of the World is restored. :cool:
 
I agree with kohlditz on the thought that everyone goes through some form of dpression at some time. Having been in a very dark place myself and seen another go through it you have to stay supportive.

It will more than likely get frustrating at times but do your best to not let that show. People suffering from depression can often seem very happy to the outside world so it's very hard to read them sometimes.

I read a book called 'Stop Thinking, Start Living' by Richard Carlson and found it very useful during my depression. Perhaps read through it yourself as it may help you manage your thoughts too.
 
So whats the difference between being sad and being depressed. Is it the same but you just stay sad for longer without knowing why?
What brings it on, does it have to be traumatic like seeing a bad accident or abuse. Or can it happen from a simple bad day at the office?
 
It's rough, I cannot lie.

You need patience. It's actually really annoying when someone you love is like this.
You may find yourself feeling all sorts of things which I am still not sure if one should feel guilty about or if it's just natural.
You need to keep an eye out for that and find some healthy way of dealing with it without taking it out on her.

I always try and gently encourage her to get out of the flat more because sunlight = serotonin.

They do eventually come out the other side though.

"If you're going through hell, keep going" and all that.
 
Unfortunetly I have loads of mentals in my family of varying degrees of mentalness. The ones that get depressed are up & down like a Yoyo, Either child like happy or old man sad. Not much you can do really apart from stopping them using Drink or Drugs to get through it.
 
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