Hate Being So Lonely!
- Thread starter StoneColdJoe
- Start date
Associate
- Joined
- 17 Sep 2012
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- North-West
If you think about it, things could be worse.
You could have no apartment, no money, no family, no food, then it would be pretty tough.
People have times like this, maybe you are just trapped in a negative frame of mind that only you can fix.
You could have no apartment, no money, no family, no food, then it would be pretty tough.
People have times like this, maybe you are just trapped in a negative frame of mind that only you can fix.
Soldato
- Joined
- 25 Sep 2003
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- 3,750
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- Manchester
From your opening post, you come across as an intelligent person. It sounds like you have to give yourself a kick up the bum and pick one thing to concentrate on doing every day. Like others have mentioned, running is a good one. Buy some running shoes and get out there, Google the couch to 5k plan and complete it.
See I don't think smoking, drinking, or gambling are the problem, the problem is self control and moderation, and confidence.
People will flame me for saying this, but if you give those things up you'll feel worse and you'll still have the underlying problem, you may even just replace those three things, with three other vices. Needless to say I think the problem is that unhapiness has buckled your ability to reason.
There is obviously no need for those three things, but at the same time, most people drink, some smoke, and even some make a living from gambling. You even yourself said it's those things that make you happy, so you must know what is making you unhappy too. Might it probably be the loneliness no job, and no friends.
So I don't echo everyone else's advice, I would suggest maybe, join a gym, or a club, or get a job, or see if you can go back to college for free, or read books on how to gamble successfully (or attempt to anyway)
Jobs sometimes lead to friends, which will lead to maybe going out and socialising. Hey I went to the casino the other day and did all three of those things and came out £20 better off.
People will flame me for saying this, but if you give those things up you'll feel worse and you'll still have the underlying problem, you may even just replace those three things, with three other vices. Needless to say I think the problem is that unhapiness has buckled your ability to reason.
There is obviously no need for those three things, but at the same time, most people drink, some smoke, and even some make a living from gambling. You even yourself said it's those things that make you happy, so you must know what is making you unhappy too. Might it probably be the loneliness no job, and no friends.
So I don't echo everyone else's advice, I would suggest maybe, join a gym, or a club, or get a job, or see if you can go back to college for free, or read books on how to gamble successfully (or attempt to anyway)
Jobs sometimes lead to friends, which will lead to maybe going out and socialising. Hey I went to the casino the other day and did all three of those things and came out £20 better off.
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Soldato
- Joined
- 3 Jun 2005
- Posts
- 5,365
- Location
- West Sussex
Sounds like the OP is a bit like me. I have an addictive personality, I cannot drink in moderation, smoke in moderation, take prescription meds among other things. Lucky I don't gamble.
It is difficult to explain but it is very hard to stop yourself. My doctor puts it down to depression. I am not blaming it but I had a lousy childhood and flashbacks haunt me. I lack self confidence and haven't been the best at holding down relationships. My physical health has been quite bad for many years, some self inflicted, some not.
The best news although you probably wont feel positive is you have come to admit how you to yourself and recognized your problems. As hard as it is you must talk to your GP and if you find them unhelpful get another one. You are only 25 so can easily turn your life around. I did when I was about 30, unfortunately I lapsed back into my old life. I am now 40 and think the abuse I have given my body has taken it's toll. I honestly believe myself I probably only have 5-10 years at most if I am lucky.
If you are worried about qualifications they are the perfect place to start. Join some evening classes and you will be surprised how many people you will meet. Some will probably be living lives or lived life's similar to yours. Expanding your group of friends will take you in new directions.
I only wish I could turn back to 25.
It is difficult to explain but it is very hard to stop yourself. My doctor puts it down to depression. I am not blaming it but I had a lousy childhood and flashbacks haunt me. I lack self confidence and haven't been the best at holding down relationships. My physical health has been quite bad for many years, some self inflicted, some not.
The best news although you probably wont feel positive is you have come to admit how you to yourself and recognized your problems. As hard as it is you must talk to your GP and if you find them unhelpful get another one. You are only 25 so can easily turn your life around. I did when I was about 30, unfortunately I lapsed back into my old life. I am now 40 and think the abuse I have given my body has taken it's toll. I honestly believe myself I probably only have 5-10 years at most if I am lucky.
If you are worried about qualifications they are the perfect place to start. Join some evening classes and you will be surprised how many people you will meet. Some will probably be living lives or lived life's similar to yours. Expanding your group of friends will take you in new directions.
I only wish I could turn back to 25.
Could always go to Church.
With god your never alone
He won't help you fap though he just watchs
Probably said 200 times already (not read past 2nd post) but...
Give up gambling, smoking and excessive drinking and your life will improve. Sadly you can't give up drinking altogether as that's the best way to socialize in todays world.
Give up gambling, smoking and excessive drinking and your life will improve. Sadly you can't give up drinking altogether as that's the best way to socialize in todays world.
- Joined
- 4 Jan 2013
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- 3,783
See I don't think smoking, drinking, or gambling are the problem, the problem is self control and moderation, and confidence.
People will flame me for saying this, but if you give those things up you'll feel worse and you'll still have the underlying problem, you may even just replace those three things, with three other vices. Needless to say I think the problem is that unhapiness has buckled your ability to reason.
There is obviously no need for those three things, but at the same time, most people drink, some smoke, and even some make a living from gambling. You even yourself said it's those things that make you happy, so you must know what is making you unhappy too. Might it probably be the loneliness no job, and no friends.
So I don't echo everyone else's advice, I would suggest maybe, join a gym, or a club, or get a job, or see if you can go back to college for free, or read books on how to gamble successfully (or attempt to anyway)
Jobs sometimes lead to friends, which will lead to maybe going out and socialising. Hey I went to the casino the other day and did all three of those things and came out £20 better off.
I would say that this isn't particularly helpful. The smoking and the drinking is something that can bring about social occasions and be "harmless" to a point, but I genuinely do not reckon that gambling brings any happiness for most people.
Joe, now that you said that you were kicked out of school at 13, its becoming a lot clearer. You haven't had any real stability or "push" in your life. You need to get yourself back up to scratch in education/qualifications and push out from there.
Go to a job office, search online for courses and see what will bolster you up.
Could always go to Church.
Not actually that bad an idea. Obviously if you're raving anti religious then maybe not
, but if you genuinely ambivalent or curious, then its worth a shot. Lots of places are quite sociable now, it gets you out of the house, there are plenty of pretty ladies with good morals (well some of them ) and who knows, you might even find God. 
- Joined
- 12 Mar 2013
- Posts
- 34
Hi guys,
So many great, supportive posts on this thread, couldn't possibly quote them all lol. But thank you all very much. And it really has helped reading/going through this thread, so glad i created it now.
Went to see my granddad today, out the flat etc... Was nice, we watched the racing (didn't have a bet lol)
Some questions i've been asked on this thread, answers -
1. The reason i can afford the drink, gambling, smoking is the fact the bank allowed me to accumilate a (agreed) £1500 overdraft. Wish they hadn't now!
2. My grammar is rubbish lol, but thanks anyway.
3. It's true, i am on benefits, but i'm not one of those people who like it. I would much rather be out working, i feel ashamed i'm on them tbh.
4. I live in East Sussex.
So many great, supportive posts on this thread, couldn't possibly quote them all lol. But thank you all very much. And it really has helped reading/going through this thread, so glad i created it now.
Went to see my granddad today, out the flat etc... Was nice, we watched the racing (didn't have a bet lol)
Some questions i've been asked on this thread, answers -
1. The reason i can afford the drink, gambling, smoking is the fact the bank allowed me to accumilate a (agreed) £1500 overdraft. Wish they hadn't now!
2. My grammar is rubbish lol, but thanks anyway.
3. It's true, i am on benefits, but i'm not one of those people who like it. I would much rather be out working, i feel ashamed i'm on them tbh.
4. I live in East Sussex.
Are you drinking right now?
, you honestly believe that you have to drink to socialize in 'todays' world? You must be on a different planet.
- Joined
- 12 Mar 2013
- Posts
- 34
Not complaining at all, just putting it out there (where i am and how i'm feeling)
Wondered if others are/or have been through the same sort of situation as the one i'm in now.
What do you want in life?
Are you in a rush to get there?
Btw, I feel like this everyday, I have given up smoking, drinking and stopped many of the medication which I have been taking for many years. Yet I fight everyday; I exercise everyday, not because I want to look good, because I want to feel good, sometimes it works sometimes it does not.
Look at the psychological ramifications of all the things that you do; then type them into Google and see what happens.
What else is there in the background that is making you 'do' these things?
Make you own mind up, you owe that to yourself, it is a choice.
I used to gamble and it began to get out of control. It started th £5 accumulators, then £10, then £20 etc.
I put limits on my account to £50 per week, but circumvented this to gamble more by using other accounts I had. I'd win but not withdraw it, using that money to accumulate more. I nearly always lost. I would watch football intently and get the hump when things when against me, mainly when I didn't cash out in time. I was good at gambling on f1 though as I could see the strategies developing ahead of time
Things came to a head when the Olympics were on, I was gambling on the football which was completely random and went against the form you would expect, I remember brazil being awful and their big names not turning up.
Anyway, I lost £250+ in a week and my mrs asked me for £300 for a cot got my son who was due to be born. I felt so bad that I was effectively paying for it twice. I saw it was an absolute waste of money and could have been spent elsewhere.
I haven't gambled since.
The money wasn't the issue, I could comfortably afford to lose the money but it was the principle that I was losing money I could put to better use. Infact, looking at my profit and loss I was probably even or perhaps marginally down. I knew it was becoming a problem and the stakes were getting higher.
The point is, you can change it. Shut your accounts down, you won't care who wins and you can enjoy sport for what it is rather than how much you stand to lose.
I put limits on my account to £50 per week, but circumvented this to gamble more by using other accounts I had. I'd win but not withdraw it, using that money to accumulate more. I nearly always lost. I would watch football intently and get the hump when things when against me, mainly when I didn't cash out in time. I was good at gambling on f1 though as I could see the strategies developing ahead of time
Things came to a head when the Olympics were on, I was gambling on the football which was completely random and went against the form you would expect, I remember brazil being awful and their big names not turning up.
Anyway, I lost £250+ in a week and my mrs asked me for £300 for a cot got my son who was due to be born. I felt so bad that I was effectively paying for it twice. I saw it was an absolute waste of money and could have been spent elsewhere.
I haven't gambled since.
The money wasn't the issue, I could comfortably afford to lose the money but it was the principle that I was losing money I could put to better use. Infact, looking at my profit and loss I was probably even or perhaps marginally down. I knew it was becoming a problem and the stakes were getting higher.
The point is, you can change it. Shut your accounts down, you won't care who wins and you can enjoy sport for what it is rather than how much you stand to lose.