Bullies ...

[glenimp617]

hypothetically speaking, what would happen if say an adult caught the bully alone one evening and gave him a good hiding?

 

[Housey]

hypothetically speaking, what would happen if say an adult caught the bully alone one evening and gave him a good hiding?

He would tell his parents and they would involve the police who would arrest the parent for abuse of minor. Whilst we all know how it works on telly and in the movies, this is more of a reality.

 

[glenimp617]

He would tell his parents and they would involve the police who would arrest the parent for abuse of minor. Whilst we all know how it works on telly and in the movies, this is more of a reality.

Just thinking if my kid ever ended up in hospital with leaking spinal fluid......fill in the blanks

 

[danielanthony]

For all the keyboard warriors out there... This bully is probably from a very disruptive home and probably has very violent parents. Saying that you would give the bully a good hiding would probably result in you getting knifed or bricked by Wayne and Waynetta Slob when you least expect it, escalating the issue considerably and probably ending up with you being arrested for assaulting a child.

 

[glenimp617]

such a wonderful world we live in

 

[mattyg]

I was wondering why no-one on here has owned up to being a bully. Then I remembered its a computer forum.

Seriously though I was bullied until I hit back then it stopped. That was 26 yrs ago can't do that anymore.

OP sounds like your on the right track though

Hope it works out.

 

[Loosecannon]

First off it needs to be put onto the schools radar. Arrange a meeting with the head teacher and go and have a clear, concise and level headed discussion around your concerns and then to understand how he/she intends to resolve this very disturbing and unsettling situation. Any head worth their salt will treat this very seriously and will have a clear set of guidelines and processes to resolve the situation.

I would also establish if there is any online aspect to this bullying as I know, due to recent experience with friends, that the police will take this very seriously and will visit the offenders as it's a good form of proof. If there is a case of online then I would actually make it a police matter before anything and then make the head aware that this aspect is a police matter and he/she is now expected to address the face to face in school time aspects.

They will then probably involve the kids parents so don't be surprised if they take the "our little Johny would never do that" approach as there is a likely root cause to their kids actions. My approach with these things is rapid and clear action and I suggest your family does exactly the same thing, emotion removed but firm and clear in what you expect to happen and in what time line and if it doest your route of escalation, whether is be further police involvement, school governors, local politicians or press.

If you are clear and serious I would expect the problem to be addressed and the bullies and their parents to get a proper scare.

Excellent advice. Meet with the school. Involve the police if physical violence and especially injuries have taken place. Request moving classes if this is an option, that may help some. Certainly ask for him to move within a classroom space. Involving the school will also involve teachers eventually too, which is always good.

 

[arknor]

at that age telling the teachers is the worst thing you can do imo , He's going to get his head caved in if these bullies are anything like the people I used to hang around with when I was a teenager.

do you not know any hard blokes? first thing I would do is go around the guys house and tell his father what's been happening and if he's not prepared to be reasoned with and is some utter chav then I would tell the guys father any time this kid gets bullied someone is going leave you laying unconscious on your doorstep.

above won't work if you don't look intimidating or your friends don't

not all bad kids have bad parents though like you would assume and often even the trouble families hate if it there kids bring trouble to their door

Honestly, while retaliation is usually not condoned,

when I was about 7 and punched some guy and broke his glasses, one of the teachers told me off and at the end said it was about time I stuck up for myself :O
The guys mum tried to get my parents to pay for his glasses but they told her to **** off seeing as this kid was a known bully at school

 

[Dis86]

For all the keyboard warriors out there... This bully is probably from a very disruptive home and probably has very violent parents. Saying that you would give the bully a good hiding would probably result in you getting knifed or bricked by Wayne and Waynetta Slob when you least expect it, escalating the issue considerably and probably ending up with you being arrested for assaulting a child.

That's why you do your research first and find out what kind of people they are.

Or if needs be you do what my friends dad did...

Every time his son got picked on by this kid, something bad would happen to the bully's family house. Bins emptied over the front lawn. Gardens got covered in herbicide.Windows got put in. Tyres slashed. etc

It worked. Not legal but effective. Luckily he was intelligent enough to do it in such a way that it couldn't be traced back to him with any great ease even though the family knew it was him (which was entirely the point).

 

[bitslice]

I can tell you right now the school will do absolutely **** all,
worse than that they will try and brush it under the carpet. I could rage all day and night about what a useless bunch of ****** they all are.

You need a handy third party to beat the crap out of this other kid and make it clear whose 'gang' has the most authority.

Don't pussy around or listen to any Politically Correct pussies in here, your nephew is being seriously mentally damaged, damage that will screw him up for life.

 

[alex20000]

Does he have a reason why he's getting bullied or is it for no reason?

Never been in this situation, so I can't relate to this :/

 

[233]

You and your brother need to have a word with the bully

Explain that if they touch your nephew again you'll stomp on his head

Don't need to lay a finger on him sometimes the fear of implied violence is more effective than actual physical action

 

[Yamahahahahaha]

when I was about 7 and punched some guy and broke his glasses, one of the teachers told me off and at the end said it was about time I stuck up for myself :O
The guys mum tried to get my parents to pay for his glasses but they told her to **** off seeing as this kid was a known bully at school

Except OP said that the situation isn't known to the school. So if his nephew punches the bully in the face he'll end up looking like the bad one.

It's always nice to punch a bully in the face, but you have to put it in context so other people will understand that it's retaliation and not just a random act of violence.

 

[Amp34]

Honestly, while retaliation is usually not condoned, it does fix the issue. I was constantly mocked at school by a group of lads. I lashed out, injured one of them in the face pretty badly (A heavy schoolbag full of meaty textbooks swung round, caught him square in the face!)

The bullying pretty much ended after that. I got a few days off school too as a 'reward'

Yup, I agree. As much as teachers like to say talk to them and they will "talk" to the bully/sort it out does that ever actually work? In my experience all that ever did was make it worse...

Three options IMO.

Beat the bully up/retaliate - if they realise you're not going to just take it any more they will usually stop.

Remove the bully from school and move them to another. Will probably stop them bullying the kid in question but may make someone else's life a misery and not necessarily stop the other bullying.

Move your kid to another school. With all the problems that would bring (friends etc).

Unfortunately if the first is out the second will be almost impossible (although it is possible if it continues on for years.... ). That leaves you with the third...

 

[Destination]

Contact the school immediately and start working with them. Let them sort the bullies out. If anything else happens from this point onwards, on or off school property, contact the police.

Exactly this.
When I was being bullied my mother went to the principal, told him of the situation, and it stopped. The breaking point was when I though the ******* had broken my arm, I got off the bus told my mother, and we went through proper channels.
Do it right. School, then police if ineffective.

 

[Amp34]

Excellent advice. Meet with the school. Involve the police if physical violence and especially injuries have taken place. Request moving classes if this is an option, that may help some. Certainly ask for him to move within a classroom space. Involving the school will also involve teachers eventually too, which is always good.

Haha! Move class? That will almost certainly make >.< that much difference...

First off it needs to be put onto the schools radar. Arrange a meeting with the head teacher and go and have a clear, concise and level headed discussion around your concerns and then to understand how he/she intends to resolve this very disturbing and unsettling situation. Any head worth their salt will treat this very seriously and will have a clear set of guidelines and processes to resolve the situation.

I would also establish if there is any online aspect to this bullying as I know, due to recent experience with friends, that the police will take this very seriously and will visit the offenders as it's a good form of proof. If there is a case of online then I would actually make it a police matter before anything and then make the head aware that this aspect is a police matter and he/she is now expected to address the face to face in school time aspects.

They will then probably involve the kids parents so don't be surprised if they take the "our little Johny would never do that" approach as there is a likely root cause to their kids actions. My approach with these things is rapid and clear action and I suggest your family does exactly the same thing, emotion removed but firm and clear in what you expect to happen and in what time line and if it doest your route of escalation, whether is be further police involvement, school governors, local politicians or press.

If you are clear and serious I would expect the problem to be addressed and the bullies and their parents to get a proper scare.

Sounds great written down, in practice if the bully isn't removed from school (either by the police or expelled) then what will most likely happen is the day after the discussion the ops kid will coke back with black eyes and lots of bruises... The school need to know (and probably already do... At least individual teachers), unfortunately if they act on it any other way that with absolute authority then things won't change for the better.

It's basically no different than trying to get someone else to do the dirty work, the bully has even less respect for the bullied.

I'd be interested to know if anyone was ever properly bullied and it was all sorted out by the teacher having a quick word with the bully and their parents...?

 

[No1newts]

I've personally never known bullying to be sorted by the teachers etc, sad but that was just my experience. I had to OTT batter someone who bullied me and it all stopped.

As others have said though, kids these days you don't know what to expect. When my son is a little older I will be sending him off to judo or something so he can look after himself but I would rather he didn't need to.

It's a disgrace but I find that schools just aren't effective and don't really care for the hassle. If needs be get the police involved and make it so the school is forced to act.

Good luck with it all and let us know how it goes.

 

[Musty Pie]

Thanks for the floods of advice guys.

As much as I would love to give the little **** a kicking I fear it may end up causing more trouble for everyone involved.

As for the online aspect, he is not an active facebook user, so this is not an issue as far as I am aware.

 

[arknor]

As others have said though, kids these days you don't know what to expect. When my son is a little older I will be sending him off to judo or something so he can look after himself but I would rather he didn't need to.

wing chun is good my step son did 2 years when he was 16, went from being a wimp to having the confidence to stand up for himself against anyone he met some good friends from it to and got roped into doing dragon dancing every Chinese new year


when I was a teenager judu was always known as the "gay" martial arts people who are bullied take.

I doubt it has much practical use in a street fight either at least get him to do something like wing chun where he will get roughed up and hit

they do classes from very young ages you know asians are pretty much born wearing a martial arts outfit lol

 

[areksnumbr1sxylady]

Send him to boxing, to a very rough club, he will get bullied there even more and will be forced to stand up for himself sooner or later, he will have a choice to train hard and earn respect or remain a wimp... I`d send him to train with the adults instead of teen-agers... After few "friendly" matches with people who are like 10 years older a punch to the head from some chav will feel like a mummies kiss

The thing is, where do you draw the line between bullying and "banter" our friend group used to be rough, we`d play fight, gang up on each other... call names ect... but if someone needed help we all came together as 1 piece and never left a man behind.