How to make someone do something they are scared of for their own good

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Combat squirrel

Combat squirrel

Combat squirrel

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As title, I realize it sounds very ominous, however it is all with their best interests at heart. It is someone I love dearly so nothing dodgy! Lol

However I am in a cruel to be kind situation that this person is frankly; terrified of, and I am stressing myself out on how to get this person to face their fears and with me by their side, get through the situation.

I don’t wish to go into details about it, however, it would be for them, 5 minutes of terror and then their mind would be at rest and facing the issue would also solve the issue, this is a ‘one off’ situation and isn’t for example a fear of spiders that wouldn’t really go away without years of CBT etc.

The thing is, how do I get them to face the issue without either running away, becoming completely stubborn and not facing it, and also how do I do this without making them hate me or wish to completely avoid me.

It’s a proper pickle and please don’t start discussing what the fear could be, please just try and think on advice on how to solve it – also I am 99.9999999999999% certain that in getting them to face the thing they are afraid of – the outcome would be what they would wish for and nothing bad would happen, however they ……. have worked themselves up into mindset where they think it would only ever be bad news, when as I said I am 99.99%R sure that it will be fine (I would never wish them to face the issue if I thought even for a second that it would be a bad idea to do it).

I have thought about just the ‘ok let’s face it, trust me’ and get it over and done with approach, but I don’t know if that would make it worse.

We have already spoke about it for 2-3 weeks now and I have simply been supporting them, reassuring them, and gently trying to bring their POV around to look at the situation logically, and gently showing them (without being condescending), how fears can work themselves up…….and if not dealt with, will always be on their mind.

Im really stuck, I really love them but, im just not totally sure what to do now :/ Help GD.
 
Lies and subtle subterfuge. That or just beat the crap out of them till they agree.

Seriously though it really depends on what you are talking about, getting someone that is afraid of heights to go sky diving is very different to someone who is at high risk of a serious hereditary disease to get checked.

If it is actually a serious situation and not something they just don't want to do but you're being an arse and forcing them, try to get them to speak to a professional. No offence but unless you are talking from a position of ACTUAL knowledge they have no reason to trust your judgement.

Honestly, think VERY hard about why you are trying to get them to do whatever it is you want them to do, is it for their benefit or yours? Is it something they really NEED to do? That sort of thing, you may think it is in their "best interest" (a horrible phrase by the way) when in reality it is in yours. Forcing someone to do something they don't want to do is rarely a good idea, if ever.
 
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I'm a big fan of lying or tricking them until it's too late to turn back.

Alternatively, get more people involved, if it's just you and them then they might end up hating you if it's you and a few friends then the burden is shared and the support is increased, if they don't have any other people then get your friends or a professional involved...
 
Sorry OP but I think this is a hopeless thread without knowing what the fear is. No one can have any hope of offering any advice without this knowledge.
 
'5mins of terror and then their mind would be at rest' Could be anything from an Enema to being launched in to Low Earth Orbit... You need to narrow it down a bit.
 
Why can't you discuss the fear? Seems a bit odd to me.

Without that how can anyone give any advice, treating the fear of balloons would be vastly different to a fear of gay people having sex.
 
Sounds like a women mentality, I'm afraid you have no way to convince such irrational behavior without coming off looking like a ****. Save yourself the hassle and stress and just let them be.
 
They are afraid out it for a reason, no matter how irrational it may seem..

If it really needs to be done for the future of your relatioship/their career/their family life (delete appropiate) it should be upto them to face it themselves...

If it is something trival such as sky diving or spider (things which they'll only be in contact which occasionally) i'd just leave it...
 
Most complex "I want to steal another man's/woman's partner" thread ever.

Op as already mentioned, what is this fear that needs to be conquered? If you want helpful answers you need to give more detail.
 
Impossible to suggest methods of approaching it without knowing what the fear is. A suggestion for one fear could be completely inappropriate for another. It is also difficult to give advise without knowing any details, we don't know if it is even your place to be making this person do something they don't want to do.
 
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