Ever been mugged or had someone attempt to mug you

arknor said:
I heard it's a true story but the guy was really asking if they wanted to buy a coconut and waving his machete around that he used to chop the coconuts open.

in their drunken haze 2 soldiers misheard "do you want buy coconut" for "give me beer" and attacked the innocent man
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LOL!
 
timmy222 said:
Whislt stationed in Singapore, my father and his chum (who was the garrison boxing champion) was confronted with a local chap with a large sword.
My fathers mate hit this chap to the side of the head and he went down only to fall throat first onto the blade.
The would be mugger blead to death in front of them, of course they did try and help after a while (snigger)
They had two bottles of beer to drink and did not want them to get cold.
My dad was the garrisons NCO and he just let the mp's know where the body was.
:p
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They didn't want their beers to get....... cold? :confused:
 
Lol thats mint arknor.

Originally Posted by arknor
I heard it's a true story but the guy was really asking if they wanted to buy a coconut and waving his machete around that he used to chop the coconuts open.

In their drunken haze 2 soldiers misheard "do you want buy coconut" for "give me beer" and attacked the innocent man
 
timmy222 said:
Originally Posted by arknor
I heard it's a true story but the guy was really asking if they wanted to buy a coconut and waving his machete around that he used to chop the coconuts open.

In their drunken haze 2 soldiers misheard "do you want buy coconut" for "give me beer" and attacked the innocent man
Click to expand...

Wow, you can't even use quotes properly.
 
Nitefly said:
I had an attempting mugging in brazil. I was sat on the kerb with a beer with my friend when three men started demands cash and looked menacing. We looked at each other, and I starting singing:

".....nobody knows it... But you've got a secret smile *points to muggers* and you use it... Only for me"

After a few lines, complete with synchronised swaying, they all burst out laughing and left.

Win.
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Mate that is very bloody good.
 
I have been known to reply to any random abuse from idiots in the street with
"Mate I ******* love you!"
Throws them right off :D
 
he's like my sons friend that doesn't even own a bike that told me he went to the local skateboard park and did 5 backflips in a row on a bmx.

I'm sure everyone with a school age child has a similar kid with a very creative mind that is always trying to spin a tale
 
not sure if more blatant lies or tragic accident.

do tell us more... I can just tell your waiting to drip feed us another yarn
 
Three lads came in to the chippy I was in and started on the shop owner.
He was ok but a couple of cod got battered...
I think they did it just for the hallibut.
 
I personally have never been mugged as far as I can remember, but 2 weeks ago my flat mate was walking back home from town to the flat, it was about 3am and he decided to walk down a fairly dark street on his own. He gets very drunk and doesn't ever remember much, but he told me the story something like this in the morning after we both wake up...

Friend: Mate... you'll never guess what, I got mugged last night, by someone who looked like a sand dog maker...
Me: What the **** are you talking about?
Friend: No honestly... I was approached by some turkish sand/dog maker, who cooks chicken... at least thats how I can describe him, but you know what I mean right?
Me: No not really... but yeah, I guess... go on? Mugged? What happened?
Friend: Yep.. he came up to me all friendly and started asking for where somewhere was, I can't remember too much though I was well gone after all those drinks we had at that bar. So I started speaking to him as he seemed friendly enough and I was hammered so whatever.
Me: Right ok...
Friend: He then started getting a bit psychical and started going for my pockets where my phone and wallet was, I can't remember too much but I think he may have got my phone out at this point, then he started throwing punches towards me... (my friend is not a fighter at all, in fact I don't think he's ever killed a fly) but this dog maker was terrible at fighting, I can remember not even being scared.
Me: hahah, so you two started scrapping.... I can't even picture this.
Friend: Yeah I just remember him going for my pockets and throwing punches, I saw the opportunity to throw a kick at his head when he was low down reaching around my pockets, he fell to the floor and started squirming away like smeagol.
Me: This is ridiculous...
Friend: It was great at this point, but because I was so hammered I didn't even realise he took my phone out my pocket, but he was on the ground, and I had just round house kicked him to the floor... I thought I had won, so I started swearing "You ****ing *****, yeah **** off... nob head!"
Me: But he had your phone? So you didn't really win, did you?
Friend: No, not at all... but I've only just realised this morning I don't have my iPhone on me. So last night I just thought I won my first ever fight... against a sand dog maker. I was living the dream.
Me: Right...well done anyway mate you won your first fight but lost your iPhone. Win some you lose some.

The odd thing was that my friend described the mugger to be absolutely pathetic at the old fighting, he isn't an aggressive guy by any means, but he described this guy at being completely useless and he never for one minute felt threatened. We came to the conclusion that this guy was a try hard and really wanted to get initiated in to a gang and my friend was the victim.
 
I got spiked not so long ago in a club, by a good looking gal but you can tell she was dodgy though, so I sort of expected it... So after about 30 minutes of the drink we were still taking and it started to hit me, but it was very mild and really didnt do much to me...

Needless to say, she was not very happy and then called me a junkie and went away :D

I think she got her mix wrong... MDMA + Ketamine meh, should have probably used depressants like rohypnol... But I guess she will learn one day... :D
 
Mr Blonde said:
Three lads came in to the chippy I was in and started on the shop owner.
He was ok but a couple of cod got battered...
I think they did it just for the hallibut.
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I don't mean to laugh it sounds horrible to get beaten up in your own shop. But the silly side of me thinks it sounds like a fish joke.
 
I was mugged or held up in Manchester city centre when I was about 13. Group of 6-8 lads managed to isolate me from my friends and then surround me. The lead lad then gestured towards having what looked like a knife in his pocket and so I handed over my Kahuna watch to them. Fortunately they must've got spooked as I had around £200 in my wallet which they didnt get!

In hindsight he probably didnt have anything in his pocket, but I wasnt about to argue.
 
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