Losing contact with mates who have girlfriends/wives/kids

Guest2

Guest2

Guest2

Soldato
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My housemate is sacking off one of our friends 30th birthdays that he has known for around 7 years. He has known about it for a couple of months and yesterday said he was going to his girlfriends mates house-party instead.

I said "what, you are sacking off your mates 30th to go to your birds friends house-party" He then went to his room and I didn't see him for the rest of the night - must have touched a nerve

Some friends are married with kids but still find time to go on occasional nights out, reply to texts even if its a simple yes or no, im busy reply. Others I dont hear from for ages then get a random text "you out tonight mate?" presumably when their Mrs is off out and they can go out too!

When I had a girlfriend I didn't stop contacting my friends, not show up for big events or ditch things for plans with her at the last minute

This happening to others?
 
In my personal experience its the girl who systematically tries to get you alienated from all the friends you have, if you find a woman who does not try to do this then she is a keeper :p
 
One of my mates, used to see him few times a week in the gym, beer on a weekend etc., haven't seen him since May when he met his girlfriend.

Fair enough, but don't expect me to be coming out for beers at your beck and call when you break up!
 
AtreuS said:
In my personal experience its the girl who systematically tries to get you alienated from all the friends you have, if you find a woman who does not try to do this then she is a keeper :p
Click to expand...

Yeah if you can do the same for your partner. Loads of guys I know are quite controlling when it comes to their mrs.
 
Yep, a guy I know is with his girlfriend at pretty much any opportunity. They went on holiday for a week, and as soon as they are back he is round her house again. Can take 24 hours to reply to a text...

It's pretty sad.

Yet if they were to break up, he'd be round my best mates house again straight away or doing stuff. But when a girl comes into the equation his mates are disregarded.
 
Not so much with the gf/wives thing, but I can concur when it comes to kids. As soon as they pop one out, they disappear off the face of the planet. Have lost a few friends this way even though I have tried to remain in contact.
 
tbf kids can take over your life though. I always made an effort to see my mates regularly, away from the missus (and she thought it was healthy so never moaned) but with kids it's a very different proposition (and actually your own perspectives change, and spending time with them is great!)
 
It's generally the gf that causes it as the **** hits the fan when/if you ask to go out.

Lost many a mate to new gfs for a few months until it goes pete tong then there suddenly back to how they were before the relationship then the cycle repeats.
 
People have this fantasy that its worth having another half who you've just met, over people you've known most of your life.

Only to be rewarded with a divorce 20 years later and no friends.
 
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It's difficult to balance work-life-mates, especially if you have children and live with a long term partner or wife.

I know I struggle to see my friends because of family commitments, but it doesn't mean I don't want to. The hard part is keeping everyone happy!
 
Mates/GFs can embarrass you in front of one another, so if you have a GF many people will try to keep them separate.

Case in point - I had a mate who brought his GF out with us once and she got a little drunk. She was trying to be friendly and funny, so when he was in the bog she told us that he made an effort to make his package appear larger than it was and she was always slightly disappointed when he took his clothes off...

If you meet the right person you will probably understand a bit better why someone would instinctively choose their partner over a mate, often without consciously realising.

Personally I was worried that my friends were a bad reflection of me, and at the point I met my current GF a lot of my old school friends had become heavy drug users and I didn't want to be a part of that.
 
Happens all too often. Lost several good friends this way as they simply fall out of touch and it becomes almost impossible to maintain contact with them.
I also find that the ones that do this tend to change personality wise and become different people to the guy you were friends with.
 
My friends are like that... But their boyfriends/husbands.

"Sorry I can't go out next Thursday, it's date night with <insert husbands name>!"... Err yeah. You're married and live together with no kids.... Surely there's plenty of other opportunities for 'date night' :rolleyes:
 
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