Mrs just left me..

Update!

ThaReaperGuy said:
Popcorn awaits for the sequel.
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Get the Popcorn..

Well, 10 months later since I posted this and some of you may be interested in the results....

Lets get it out the way first - You were right

Yes we have broken up.

The past 10 months have seen some great moments and some really dark ones with the relationship. But, I have had the constant feeling that I could walk in from work any day and wouldn't be all that surprised to see another letter awaiting.

As it turns out, there was no letter this time, instead she just said it outright that she wasn't happy and things weren't working. This was three weeks ago and since then we've bounced back a forth between whether to give it one last shot or not - And after having 2 weeks apart and then a week together we both last night agreed the relationship is done. I am obviously upset about it all, but I have kind of known it was coming for a while!

Unfortunately, I'm not in a financial position to keep our rented flat on my own so I'm going to moving back in with the mum (:() probably for quite a few months till I can get myself back in a position to start again. Sucks because the time its going to take to do that means the cost of storage for things like furniture will be just as much as buying new stuff further down the line.. thats a kick in the teeth.

I do feel like I'm having my base and independence ripped out from under me (which i dont blame on her its just the way it is) but it will give me time to almost press the reset button as such.

Urhgg - Just a rubbish situation!

A question a friend asked me today: "In Hindsight, if you knew it was going to end this way, would you have bothered back in January, and spent this much time trying?"

Yes and no. We've had some really good memories together this year, from my sisters wedding, to trips to Greece and Barcelona and lots in between. But as I'm aware life is short and it could all be viewed as wasted time. I'm not sure yet, maybe I'll give a definitive answer to this later down the line..

Also to answer past comments and future questions:
1. No, She wasn't having her pasty smashed elsewhere.
2. She hasn't stitched me entirely for money as she has offered to pay half my (our) debt (not cheap) which shes not legally bound to do.
 
Sorry to hear that CSR. However, a word of caution. My ex-wife made all sorts of promises and even signed some letters (not drawn up by a solicitor though) and reneged on each and every thing she said she'd do.
Amusingly though, she decided to stop her half of payments on a joint debt, citing the fact that she didn't want to pay it and would rather put the money towards another house (demonstrating a wonderful grasp of how debts work). That ended with her having her credit rating slaughtered which meant she couldn't get a mortgage on a new place with her current chap. Strange woman. :)
 
That's sad if not entirely unpredictable news.

Look at it this way : you both gave it a shot, it didn't work out and now you know that you gave it a really good try. The band aid is off. Remember the good stuff, forget the bad stuff, and go out there and be awesome :)
 
[FnG]magnolia;25308541 said:
That's sad if not entirely unpredictable news.

Look at it this way : you both gave it a shot, it didn't work out and now you know that you gave it a really good try. The band aid is off. Remember the good stuff, forget the bad stuff, and go out there and be awesome :)
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This 10 times over.

You have given it a shot.

Never look at any past relationship as a waste of time. They are essential building blocks of the people we become. You will find someone that loves you as much as you love them one day.

It just wasn't this time around.
 
How many times did you bang her in the past 10 months though that's the important thing. Also if you really wanted to keep her you would have put a baby in her so obviously you didn't really want to be with her anymore. Perhaps you should get a dog?
 
you're 22 and probably feel she was the love of your life and you were going to be together forever and ever.

welcome to real life.
 
[FnG]magnolia;25308541 said:
That's sad if not entirely unpredictable news.

Look at it this way : you both gave it a shot, it didn't work out and now you know that you gave it a really good try. The band aid is off. Remember the good stuff, forget the bad stuff, and go out there and be awesome :)
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Thanks for the words guys..

Ahh Magnolia.. what would I do without your fatherly advice :D

But yes this is what I've said.. I'd much rather have done it this way with trying to give it a shot in every way we can think, instead of just giving up, getting rid of the house and everything, then 3 months down the line we both say "hang on.. what if"...
 
Let her be, she has made her bed, let her lie in it and if she loves you she will regret it. Let her simmer but for treating the situation like that I would let her be. Sounds like you deserver better mate.
 
Relationships are dynamic - years ago people married for life, it was the done thing - nowadays relationships wax and wane due to those dynamics. It not unusual for people to have several 'partners' and then marry one and then divorce and then then do it all again some time later - please don't be under any illusion about how this works these days - women are as fickle as any man and being in your early 20's means there is plenty of scope for you to 'out grow' each other, although there usually is the dumper and dumped situation. Your situation is just like anyone else - I watched my daughter, who is your age, struggle with exactly this situation both being dumped and the dumper, it is emotionally taxing and a fact of life - I suggest that it will happen in your life multiple times over the years but I hope for you that it doesn't - Just be strong enough to weather this sort of thing, it sounds horrible, but the winners just move on and take it in their stride.

Regards
 
Focus on yourself for a while, get yourself in a stable position financially and regarding living accomodation, try and be better and improve yourself in some way, take up running or something. It will take your mind off things and before you realise it, you'll have the confidence and the base to allow any future relationship develop.
 
She was fair, shouldered her obligations but facts are facts. You should be happy with how it worked out.

You've wasted nothing by the way, life is not short, it's horrifically long and most of it is *****y, anything you can do to enjoy some small percentage of it is time well spent.
 
A question a friend asked me today: "In Hindsight, if you knew it was going to end this way, would you have bothered back in January, and spent this much time trying?"

Yes and no. We've had some really good memories together this year, from my sisters wedding, to trips to Greece and Barcelona and lots in between. But as I'm aware life is short and it could all be viewed as wasted time. I'm not sure yet, maybe I'll give a definitive answer to this later down the line..
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IMO if you can't say with absolute certainty that the time was wasted, then it wasn't. Look at this way, if you hadn't tried might you be sat there wondering "What if....?". The trouble with (and beauty of) life is that it is full of so many variables that we will never know what direction it would have taken if we had played our hand differently in the past. I think this applies to almost everything, I can look back at things I've done in the past and think "that was a mistake", but very little that was a complete waste of time, as everything from the past shapes our future.

Anyhow, kudos for returning to update the thread, it makes a change from the usual dereliction that befalls most serious relationship threads.
 
Least she's paying you some money back,

Not so bad, could be a lot worse I know some woman who are utterly venomous creatures who have rinsed their boyfriends for all they were worth.

You are 22 OP. It's allllllll good, I'm 25 broke up back then too haven't had GF since then I've actually become super independent and don't really feel obliged to make any girls my gf.
 
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