Mrs just left me..

krisboats said:
Firstly, she didn't forget to take her bag. No girl forgets her bag at a new guys house, it was cleverly left to allow further visitation. Congratulations, sounds like she thought it was fricking awesome too ;)

If it was a flat both of you lived in i can understand a little bit if she was a bit annoyed at you bringing someone back to it. From the sounds of things she hasn't fully moved out yet, she'll see it as insensitive and diminishing the importance of what you both had together before breaking up. Don't take that as me saying you should feel bad about it. If you've broken up and she wasn't there that night then i say its fair game.
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Ahh I see!.. Been so long I've lost touch with all these little tricks! Good shout!!

Yeah I do get that side of it but as you say, its over and done!
 
I need one last question answered..

We text earlier very briefly simply trying to arrange a day to meet up to discuss things like furniture etc.. I asked if she was free Sunday, to which she replied I'll be round Sunday evening.. I then informed her I couldn't do Sunday evening and she instantly went abit off and we arranged for monday morning..

She then text my mate asking if I slept with anyone else at the weekend. So she is obviously thinking I'm doing it again Sunday evening. Now he gave her the line of any good mate being No..

Few hours later and she's text me the same; "Did you sleep with someone the other night? Honestly?".

I genuinely don't know how to play this and aren't jumping into a reply.. think I'll leave it till morning..

First side of the coin: I tell her the truth, yes I did. Then absolutely everything for sorting out furniture/bills/flat etc become stupidly more difficult and you can bet your bottom dollar she aint gunna pay any of the debts off.

Flip side: I lie, No I didnt. Then she half believes me and half doesnt.. but regardless everything is a lot easier in sorting out and a lot more civil. This obviously has its risk that somehow she could still find out and then its the same as the first, but worse.

Now just to say before you do (Magnolia :) ) , I am Not looking at this from a I want to be friends with her still point of view. This is purely what's going to be easiest over the next few weeks whilst we sort all our stuff out.
 
"Listen love... Sooner or later I'll move on... We are no longer together. Do you want text updates as we go.... I'd rather not know when you next jump in the sack you can keep that to yourself.... Cya Monday... There will be no sack ;) "
 
Tell her no. Don't even ask why she cares. It's none of her business but make your life easier by lying.

Anything else you say will translate as yes and she will make every effort to make your life difficult.

If she raises the topic when she visits, quote the post above this one. :)
 
It is none of her business. You don't owe her an explanation and I doubt if she'll honour any agreement over debt, once you have completely split up. Don't lie to her but don't feel obliged to divulge your private life. Deal with the division of your stuff with dignity, you'll be proud it after the dust settles.
 
Showboat said:
"Listen love... Sooner or later I'll move on... We are no longer together. Do you want text updates as we go.... I'd rather not know when you next jump in the sack you can keep that to yourself.... Cya Monday... There will be no sack ;) "
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This a million times.

Anyhow its none of her business what you do or who u sleep with since you guys are finished. But id give the quoted reply to her as a text message or when you see her.
 
Well that only lasted few weeks.

i am officially done with my soon to be ex wife!

There comes a time where enough is enough when your wife or missus checks your phone and facebook and accuse you of cheating just because i hanged out with a female mate WHILST we was previously separated. yea ok nice one.
 
Sorry to hear that jonney but on a more happier note, Arsenal won today so lead the table by 4 pts :p
 
Someone leaving you will leave emotional scars for a very long time. Especially when you're probably too young to have been through the grinder a few times enough to give you a more objective view on relationships.

Her choosing when the relationship ended, is a show of absolute power, and getting angry about her texts or general woman like lunacy just shows you are still able to be manipulated by her. Assert your own power by cutting her out of your life, not replying to texts, deleting her number and instantly deleting any texts she sends you.

The money issue will no doubt be used as a basis for communication, which will keep you thinking about her, further extending your recovery time. Give her your bank details and tell her she can pay you back without letting you know, in her own time. Forget about what is 'fair' - When she knows you neither care about the money, or her contact you will probably feel better that you are now in control.

You can go out, party and paper over the cracks as most people recommend but sooner or later you need to properly grieve for your loss, and start rebuilding your life.

FWIW it all happened to me when i was 23. Ex then tried to sue me for money i refused to pay back (so i was on the other side) but i used the issue as a way of keeping contact up. Eventually I paid up, we left each other alone and now 10 years later we are both friendly with each other and can look back on the good times, instead of the bad.

People are emotionally immature these days, and turn to jelly when these things happen with our unrealistic images of love, relationships and how to deal with the bad times. Consider this a life lesson and you will go into your next relationship stronger.
 
jonneymendoza said:
Well that only lasted few weeks.

i am officially done with my soon to be ex wife!

There comes a time where enough is enough when your wife or missus checks your phone and facebook and accuse you of cheating just because i hanged out with a female mate WHILST we was previously separated. yea ok nice one.
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She was either cheating on you (classic reason for jealousy), wanted to cheat and had someone in mind, or had an inferiority complex or other emotional issue. Jealousy is usually quite a simple thing.

You got out in good time ;)
 
nucastle said:
Her choosing when the relationship ended, is a show of absolute power,.
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This is why ChocolateStarfishRammer's ex is so angry about him shagging someone else as that yanks the power straight back to him.

I would have said, "Yes, so what? You dumped me so I can what the hell I like"
 
Thanks for the words guys. And sorry to hear about what's happened Jonney!

I agree with most/all you have said nucastle.. However there's part of it that worries me. My past and growing up family wise has had so many horrible situations that yourll have to trust me when I say, emotionally I've been through more then most could in a life time...

For these reasons many people have accused me of "papering over the cracks" through the years and I certainly agree it's 1 reason I have an issue with attachment. For instance my mum/sister could turn around tomorrow and say they're moving permanently abroad.. Or all my possessions could burn to the ground.. Either one I'd be over it in less than 24 hours and it wouldn't bother me.

What worries me is If this reaction to things, and my extremily quick reaction to move on is actually me dealing with it and being very emotional strong.. Or if I am actually just papering over the cracks and eventually one day soon, will go falling threw it all .

Regardless, once again I'm here brain dumping after too much to drink and at near on 5am..
 
If brain dumping your thoughts on here help you move on, then keep typing :)

Oh and "none of your business you cheeky bitch" would also be my reply..
 
I would have told her "No I haven't too" its much easier in the long game with this one. In a week or three you can move to none of her business type replies but right now she will take it as a blow that you slept with another so "quickly" after her.

As for long term, I reckon you'll have a few more fun times but over time you will also be getting over the past, try not to jump into another relationship, certainly not somebody moving in at least but do have fun when you want.

I went from 10 years of "happy" marriage to single with a ton of emotional stuff to deal with. I had a few relationships pretty much off the bat, some of which I think were just to get to know other girls and what other more normal relationships were like. I didn't really settle for a 3 years after that event and looking back that was exactly what I needed to do. My ex is still mental, still flitting between relationships, still moody with me, mostly because I'm happy I think. But she does still put our Son first and access is pretty ok.
 
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