Ex partner trying to drag up the past?
- Thread starter Vidar
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Soldato
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I know it's the least of your concerns, but why the hell are you letting your daughter get her ears pierced?!
Soldato
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Don't engage with her on an emotional level at all.
Do what you need to do to in the best interest of the kids but that is it.
There is no other reason to converse with her.
Do what you need to do to in the best interest of the kids but that is it.
There is no other reason to converse with her.
Hell, I refuse to talk to my ex on any issue apart from children co-ordination needs and she's not really a mentalist like yours.
Moving on is moving on. Talking to your ex about your relationship with her is not that. In fact, apart from the kids, don't have one.
Moving on is moving on. Talking to your ex about your relationship with her is not that. In fact, apart from the kids, don't have one.
Its a toughie that one...I don't agree with it at all, but if he says no, how can he actually prevent it ? He can take out earrings when he has the kids, but otherwise its hard for him to actually police that situation.
Yeah, earrings in a 3 year old. Chavvy to the max.
Man of Honour
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Personally, I wouldn't let any child of mine have their ears pierced until at least 8 or 9 at the very earliest, and even then I'm not sure.
Don't argue with her. If she starts saying things that are untrue, correct her calmly and end the conversation. Limit interaction to just what the children need and no more, but be polite, as tempting as it would be to tell this harlot to gtfo. Keeping a diary of conversations and highlighting anything that strikes you as odd is also a good idea.
And this. She's 3?!
And this. She's 3?!
Don't breach your court order, whatever the Judge said do. If it's not what he said then don't. If she is trying to manipulate you into acting in breach of it just ignore her or remind her you should be only talking about the kids.
Being someone who is quite ignorant about such serious matters involving children and judges decisions/etc and only reading what you have posted in this thread the only question I have is why would you not fight for custody of your children.
A person who is bi-polar and assuming what you say is true about her claiming that you her and etc (sorry I Don't take anything for face value and there are ofc two sides to the story) I just wouldn't be happy with my kids being with. Maybe that's just me and obviously I miss a lot of the story.
Either way I cant imagine it being a good thing going against what a judge has said, stick to it to the T or consult someone who knows more about this stuff (legally standing/etc) than a bunch of people on a forum!
Hope it all works out for you and your kids.
A person who is bi-polar and assuming what you say is true about her claiming that you her and etc (sorry I Don't take anything for face value and there are ofc two sides to the story) I just wouldn't be happy with my kids being with. Maybe that's just me and obviously I miss a lot of the story.
Either way I cant imagine it being a good thing going against what a judge has said, stick to it to the T or consult someone who knows more about this stuff (legally standing/etc) than a bunch of people on a forum!
Hope it all works out for you and your kids.
This is my thought process exactly...
I agree but even if I said no, she's still going to do it... She just wont be wearing them with me.
Sorry I meant to clarify earlier its not bi-polar disorder, its borderline personality disorder and I have sought custody of my children but until she does something epically stupid again I haven't got a strong enough case.
I dated someone with BPD and trust me.... don't engage her silly games. She is trying to vindicate herself in her own head above all else, that's why she will try to get you to argue so she can manipulate you into admitting stuff just to shut her up.
Remember in her mind you DID hit her... she has to believe the fairy tale in her head because she cant admit she is mentally ill. My ex used to accuse me of hitting her, cheating on her and god knows what else.... just because she always HAD to be right.... even when her BPD cropped up and did insane things, she had to believe it afterwards otherwise she would have a break down.
These women are toxic and best left alone unless you have to talk for the kids. Her family know damn well its all lies but they have to be seen to believe her or she will go ape at them.... I had my ex's family tell me such when I saw them in town on my own.
You have done well to leave her, it takes guts to do it and anyone who thinks otherwise has clearly never been in a relationship bit a BPD sufferer. Its hell on earth and the one thing you can take from it is that youre nutter radar is now VERY sensitive! lol.... I know exactly what to look out for now.
Remember in her mind you DID hit her... she has to believe the fairy tale in her head because she cant admit she is mentally ill. My ex used to accuse me of hitting her, cheating on her and god knows what else.... just because she always HAD to be right.... even when her BPD cropped up and did insane things, she had to believe it afterwards otherwise she would have a break down.
These women are toxic and best left alone unless you have to talk for the kids. Her family know damn well its all lies but they have to be seen to believe her or she will go ape at them.... I had my ex's family tell me such when I saw them in town on my own.
You have done well to leave her, it takes guts to do it and anyone who thinks otherwise has clearly never been in a relationship bit a BPD sufferer. Its hell on earth and the one thing you can take from it is that youre nutter radar is now VERY sensitive! lol.... I know exactly what to look out for now.
Oh God this sounds like my ex-wife!
i knew she was a bit off but after reading this thread i think she might have been suffering from BPD as well. Fortunately we never had kids and i left her after she tried to commit suicide.She used to accuse me of hitting her as well, but in fact i was just holding her down after she came at me with a a very large kitchen knife
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Oh God this sounds like my ex-wife!
She used to accuse me of hitting her as well, but in fact i was just holding her down after she came at me with a a very large kitchen knife
have a read here.... http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/crazy-bitch-quiz/#comments
f you can say yes to more than 4 or 5 questions then she probably has got BPD... mine was literally all of them and the only one she didn't fit was the lipstick one because she never wore any!
She was so cute and lovely when we were first dating, she hid it so well and I was totally suckered in... it took me over a year to escape once I realised she was never going to change. Im glad it all happened now because I now know enough to never make the same mistake, I can spot the same behaviour in several of my female friends, who oddly enough are usually single and hate all men for being scum.... hmmm yes ladies I think I may have found the common factor here!
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have a read here.... http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/crazy-bitch-quiz/#comments
f you can say yes to more than 4 or 5 questions then she probably has got BPD... mine was literally all of them and the only one she didn't fit was the lipstick one because she never wore any!
11 for my ex
0 for my current gf, man i'm so lucky i got out!
Oh God this sounds like my ex-wife!
She used to accuse me of hitting her as well, but in fact i was just holding her down after she came at me with a a very large kitchen knife
ALL women are BPD! It's a natural god given trait for them
My ex used to drag stuff up from 10 years ago any time we got into an argument and a lot of the stuff she claimed never even happened.....
she's good to my face since we split but likely only because she is almost constantly borrowing money from me. ( I could probably post a bank statement screen shot showing me sending her over 1k in a single month...)
example.
to my face
Are you coming with us for your sons birthday day out?
behind my back.
8 year old son > Are you coming out for my birthday still because mum said she hates you and doesn't want you to come.
:rolleyes
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This! What kind of 3 year old gets their ears pierced? That's not only ***** as all hell it's borderline child abuse.
Not to mention what parent gives their child something because all their friends have it, that's just telling your child peer pressure and conformity are all ok. What happens when all her friends are taking cocaine in a nightclub? She's going to have this thing in her head "just because they are doing it so should I"
Not to mention the question of vanity.