Destroyed by a girlfriend.. Damn

Musty Pie said:
I have been with my misses since I was 15/16, I am now 25 (26 at the end of July).

Things are going as well, if not even better than when we were younger. Or at least as far as I can tell ... :D

However I understand that not many school relationships last. And I am not naive to think that things can't change in the future. However, right now I am happy and live each day as it comes.
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Congratulations, and best of luck :) Ultimately, after university we simply realised that the things we wanted to do in life weren't really going to work- she went on to a 4 year PhD, I've always wanted to live in various different countries and keep moving. Fortunately, I'm now engaged to a person I can do exactly that with :)

I had a great time, we shaped each other a lot growing up, and I did think we'd be together forever. Still talk occasionally after having no contact for quite some time, but we're both happy with our lives now and successfully moved on. Learn from it, get on with your life, and have fun!
 
Ah young love, means the world at the time but 20 years later you can barely remember their name and definitely can't remember what they looked like.
 
I actually envy you. Yeah, sounds strange doesn't it. Fact is I'm ten years older than you and I've been a single guy for best part of 4 years now.

The point I'm making is this. Your 19 FFS!! If I had lost my first love at your age I'd be a very different person today and I would have dealt with things so differently.

Don't feel sorry for yourself like I did because trust me, you will become a very bitter person in the end. Use this as a valuable learning experience. It will make you stronger.

Yes I know it sounds so clichéd but it’s true.

"What should I be doing with myself?"

Follow a few of Mr. Sparkies rules:

1. Cut all contact with her and remove anything (and I mean literally anything) that is a reminder of her.

2. Stick with the gym and don't give up - find a new hobby if need be.

3. If you do need to vent then friends and family will help (as they did me) but remember, they won't listen forever. Talk about it and get things of your chest but don’t expect your mates to stick around if your still love struck over her in years time.

4. Go out with your mates (assuming they're not all shacked up) and enjoy being the single guy. Look at this as your new found freedom. See that fit piece near the bar? Go on. . . .approach her your single now.

5. Watch porn - don't look for lookalikes, trust me it's not good :)

6. Write a letter to yourself saying how sad, pathetic, upset, angry, blar, blar, blar you feel about the whole damn thing. Put it away for safe keeping and read it back to yourself in say 6 months. If you still feel bad and it brings it all back up again and you cry like a baby you need to work harder at recovering.

7. Pick a random place if you've ever fancied travelling and go there. Say to yourself "I wouldn't be able to do this if we were still together". Go out and explore. There’s a big world out there and you’ve seen sweet FA of it.

8. Keep busy, no matter what. If you’re bored at home and alone with your thoughts try to keep your mind occupied. Women are little ******** and have ways of getting into your head. Subconsciously, she has a power over you OR at least she may think so. Remove her from your head. Think of a giant "ACME" anvil and drop it on her every time an image of her pops into your head, you know like Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner.

9. Treat yourself and indulge. This will help you to speed up recovery. Trainers a bit aged and worn? Buy some new ones. Fancy a new shirt for the upcoming lad’s night out? Yep, go get yourself one.

10. Use this as a period of reflection mate. You could have had a kid with her, a mortgage, so many more attachments and complications that could have made this breakup so much more painful. Realise that there's always someone worse off than yourself (like yours truly).

Best of luck. My work here is done.
 
Monserrat said:
Gutted for you OP, but you did the right thing to cut ties on Facebook, phone, email, MSN etc. I'll put £20 that she was 2-timing you.
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That last bit isnt what i wanted to hear.. :/


Thanks for the advice Sparky! Don't envy me though i wouldn't want this situation again.

Its odd but i haven't felt the urge to even.. bother with feelings about it. Im too busy at work in quite mind boggling tasks ( Wiring junction boxes up on power stations with drawings which aint correct because other contractors change it without telling me )

Its mainly the worry when am home it will sink in. We shall see though i have some time left here yet!

Im amazed this thread has 4000 views!? Seriously? I don't usually ever post in GD seems actually a quite successful thread also considering most threads i watch in here on name changes/relationships/drunk threads go south pretty quick
 
GrimsbyLAD said:
That last bit isnt what i wanted to hear.. :/
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I'm being cynical, but that's what I personally think. Some girls are like that. "Oh I need some space" when really it means that there's another guy on the horizon. Cue rebound relationship.

Btw, you said something about this thread hitting 4-5 pages. Change your thread view to 80 per page in forum options and this will show up as page 2.
 
GrimsbyLAD said:
Im amazed this thread has 4000 views!? Seriously? I don't usually ever post in GD seems actually a quite successful thread also considering most threads i watch in here on name changes/relationships/drunk threads go south pretty quick
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Most people in here do have some sort of a heart. If a bunch of computer nerds can't help each other muddle through life and relationship problems, then who the heck else are we supposed to turn to!?
 
Arsonist said:
Most people in here do have some sort of a heart. If a bunch of computer nerds can't help each other muddle through life and relationship problems, then who the heck else are we supposed to turn to!?
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I'd turn to drink before I turned to you lot to be honest :p
 
Cut all ties, move on. Meet new people through work / clubs / social. Get a new hobby, something that gets you out and about. Go road cycling e.t.c. and enjoy the freedom.

If you can, save money and go abroad, back pack and move around - the world is BIG out there for a 19/20 year old - something I couldn't do since I got into a serious relationship 6.5 years ago, focus for me now is in staring family and future.
 
I wish my ex would have left me me when I was 19 rather than when I was 29, married with a mortgage! It would have been much less of a ball ache.
 
I split up recently after being with someone for 4 years (lived together too). It was tough. For 2 days. Then I took a blank bit of paper and wrote down everything that was right and wrong with one of my best female pals.

Since then been absolutely fine. You need to have a balanced life (friends, family, hobbies, work etc) or get building if you lost it because of your relatiosnhip.
 
Time to update the thread..

More fun. Girlfriend cheated on me last night and iv found out with proof. Back to square one :( I don't like cheats or liar's at all so i really hate her right now :/
Suppose it was only 4 months but still its really got me back down there again :(
 
Sorry to hear that mate, I think being cheated on is the worst. I split up with my ex back in May, not over any bad terms, but I can't have anything to do with her still and the thought of her with someone else is awful!
 
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